Act 1 — ACT I. SCENE I.

Enter Erastus and his man, with Lisetta, Mariamne's maid.

Lis. Once more I tell ye, Sir, if you have any consideration in the world for her, you must be gone this minute.

Er. My dear Lisetta, let me but speak to her, let me but see her only.

Lis. You may do what you will; but not here, whilst you are in our house. I do believe she's as impatient to see you, as you can be to see her; but——

Er. But why won't you give us that satisfaction then?

Lis. Because I know the consequence; for when you once get together, the Devil himself is not able to part you; you will stay so long 'till you are surpriz'd, and what will become of us then?

Serv. Why, then we shall be thrown out at the window, I suppose.

Lis. No, but I shall be turn'd out of doors.

Er. How unfortunate am I! these doors are open to all the world, and only shut to me.

Lis. Because you come for a wife, and at our house we do not care for people that come for wives.

Serv. What would you have us come for, child?

Lis. Any thing but wives; because they cannot be put off without portions.

Serv. Portions! No, no, never talk of portions; my Master nor I neither don't want portions; and if he'd follow my advice, a regiment of fathers shou'd not guard her.

Lis. What say you?

Serv. Why, if you'll contrive that my Master may run away with your Mistress, I don't much care, faith, if I run away with you.

Lis. Don't you so, rogue's face? but I hope to be better provided for.

Er. Hold your tongues. But where is Mariamne's brother? He is my bosom friend, and would be willing to serve me.

Lis. I told you before, that he has been abroad a hunting, and we han't seen him these three days; he seldom lies at home, to avoid his father's ill humour; so that it is not your Mistress only that our old covetous cuff teizes——there's nobody in the family but feels the effects of his ill humour——by his good will he would not suffer a creature to come within his doors, or eat at his table——and if there be but a rabbit extraordinary for dinner, he thinks himself ruin'd for ever.

Er. Then I find you pass your time comfortably in this family.

Lis. Not so bad as you imagine neither, perhaps; for, thank Heaven, we have a Mistress that's as bountiful as he is stingy, one that will let him say what he will, and yet does what she will. But hark, here's somebody coming; it is certainly he.

Er. Can't you hide us somewhere?

Lis. Here, here, get you in here as fast as you can.

Serv. Thrust me in too.

[Puts 'em into the closet.