TO ALL THE OTHER GIRLS
Reading edition
You know, I like you awfully, Jess, Phyllis, the same applies to you, To Edith and to Mary no less, Also to others, not a few. Yet some of you are rather "mad," You choose to feel, I understand, a Slight sense of injury, since I've had The glorious luck to win Amanda. I wish, sincerely, it were not Impossible for me to fall In love with some of you—a lot— In fact I'd gladly love you all! But, when you come to think it out, I'm sure my reasoning will strike you, You'll find it, I can have no doubt, More flattering that I should like you. Fate sends their wives to poor and rich, Fate does not send them thus their friends; Then let my final couplet (which I rather fancy) make amends. This fundamental truth, I trust, My seeming fickleness excuses— One simply loves because one must Whereas one likes because one chooses!
HIGHLY SATISFACTORY
Mistress. "I'm sorry for you, John; but if your wife has got such a dreadful temper, why did you marry her?"
Coachman (the Fourth Husband). "Well, mum, I had three good characters with her?"
A. "That's Jones's daughter with him. She's just about to be married."
B. "Who's the lucky man?"
A. "Jones."
A FESTIVE PROSPECT!
Husband. "Didn't I tell you not to invite your mother back in my——"
Wife. "Dear, that's the very thing she's come about! She read your letter!" [Tableau.
DOMESTIC TIE