The Seven Ages of Luggage
Reading edition
Baby. Perambulator, bottle, robe, fingerless gloves and woollen shoes.
Schoolboy. Bat, ball, and aids to education.
Lover. Guitar, music-book, writing materials, and fur-lined overcoat.
Justice. Capon in basket, robes, and treatise upon ancient saws and modern instances.
Soldier. Sword, uniform case, standard work upon Reputation.
Pantaloon. Sausages, property red-hot poker, costume of motley, slippers and spectacle case.
Veteran. Travels without luggage.
A Great Traveller.—Dr. Watts was evidently in the habit of making pedestrian excursions on the Continent, for in one of his noblest lines, he expressly says—
"Whene'er I take my walks abroad."
Innocent Abroad.—You are misled in your view that the Cours de Cuisine, mentioned in the prospectus of a French school, means the run of the kitchen.
In the Swiss Highlands.
Brown. "This is rather a pretty figure. You start on the left foot, cut a drop three—then——" (Bump)
Little Girl (unmoved). "Oh, that's why it's called a drop three, Mr. Brown!"
Photographer (on tour, absent-mindedly). "Now smile, please!"
At the Celestial Restaurant.—Customer (indignantly). Hi! waiter, what do you call this soup?
Waiter (meekly). I not know, sir, but ze padrone tell me to describe 'im Cockstail!
Traveller (snap-shotting tropical river, suddenly confronted by hippopotamus). "Just keep like that one moment, please!" (Rapturously) "Such a delightful expression!"
Note by Our Traveller—At a station on the Elham Valley Line, "Kentish Pianos" are advertised. Are these adapted for playing only dance tunes, and therefore specially serviceable in a "Hop" county?