The Brown Family Resolve To Spend Their Vacation Each After His Own Fashion, Instead Of en Famille.

Jack took his motor car of course. Maud and Ethel started on a Biking Tour.

"My Dear Sir, I tell you there is not a city in the whole of Europe that is a patch upon Florence. Why I found the finest English chemists there that I have come across in all my travels."

Pater preferred "Cooks".

Mater had "quiet time" in Devonshire. Bob went canoeing.

While Mary Ann says 'Give me good ole Margit'.

The Antiquary.

Tourist (in Cornwall). "May I be permitted to examine that interesting stone in your field? These ancient Druidical remains are most interesting!"

Farmer. "Sart'nly, sir. 'May be very int'restin' an' arnshunt, but we do stick 'em oup for the cattle, an' call 'em roubbin' pusts!!"

Smithson, having read and heard much of the pleasures of a driving tour, determines to indulge in that luxury during his Whitsuntide holidays. He therefore engages a trap, with a horse that can "get over the ground," and securing the services of an experienced driver, he sets forth.

Smithson. "A—a—isn't he—a—a—hadn't I better help you to pull at him?"

Driver. "Pull at 'im? Why yer'd set 'im crazed! Jist you let me keep is 'ead straight. Lor' bless yer, there ain't no cause to be affeared, as long as we don't meet nothing, and the gates ain't shut at Splinterbone crossing, jist round the bend."

Stout Party. "Is this path safe?"

Flippant Youth. "Yes, the path is—but I can't answer for you!"

"Will you 'urry up paintin' that tree, sir? Cause I'm goin' to cut it down in a quarter of an hour."

Tourist (in search of "the unique," after admiring old cottage). "Is there anything else to look at in the village?"

Village Dame. "Lor' bless 'ee, why there's the beautiful new recr'ation ground as we've just 'ad made!"

A Pastoral Rebuke.

First Pedestrian (they've lost their way), "Look here. This must be the east, mustn't it? There's the chancel window—that's always east; then the south must be——"

High-Church Priest ("turning up" suddenly out of the vestry), "I beg your pardon, gentlemen, but I can't allow my church to be used for a secular purpose. You'll find an unconsecrated weathercock on the barn yonder!"

Visitor. "Will you tell me where I shall find a seat?"

Verger. "Weel, sir, there's a guid wheen veesitors in Inverness the noo: so sit whaur ye can see yer umbrella!"