THE MANAGER'S COMPLAINT
Reading edition
She danced among the unfinished ways That merge into the Strand, A maid whom none could fail to praise, And very few withstand. A sylph, accepted for the run, Not at a weekly wage; Fair as a star when only one Is shining on the stage. She met a lord, and all men know How soon she'd done with me; Now she is in Debrett, oh, and, That's where they all would be!
A First Night.
Indignant Playwright (to leading actor, behind the scenes). "Confound it, man, you've absolutely murdered the piece!" Leading Actor. "Pardon me, but I think the foul play is yours!"
Smart. How do, Smooth? (to theatrical manager, who frowns upon him). What's the matter, eh?
Smooth. Matter? Hang it, Smart, you wrote me down in "The Stinger."
Smart (repressing something Shakspearian about "writing down" which occurs to him, continues pleasantly). Wrote you down? No, I said the piece was a bad one, because I thought it was; a very bad one.
Smooth. Bad! (Sarcastically.) You were the only man who said so.
Smart (very pleasantly). My dear fellow, I was the only man who saw it. Good-bye.
[Exeunt severally.
Motto for a Box-Office Keeper.—"So much for booking 'em."
"A considerable demonstration of approval greeted the fall of the curtain." How are we to take this?
"The Desire of the Moth for the Star.
"
Mistress. "And you dare to tell me, Belinda, that you have actually answered a theatrical advertisement? How could you be such a wicked girl?" Belinda (whimpering). "Well, mum,—other young lidies—gow on the—stige—why shouldn't I gow?"
The Counter-Check Quarrelsome.
Mr. Æsopus Delasparre. "I will ask you to favour me, madam, by refraining from laughing at me on the stage during my third act." Miss Jones (sweetly). "Oh, but I assure you you're mistaken, Mr. Delasparre; I never laugh at you on the stage—I wait till I get home!"
Sweeping Assertion.
"The other night, at the Novelty Theatre, Mrs. Vere-Jones was gowned simply in a clinging black velvet, with a cloak of same handsomely trimmed with ermine."—Extract from Society Journal.