FAMILIAR QUOTATIONS.

BY PATTY PEMBERTON BERMANN.

Dramatis Personæ.

The Preface.

The Index.

A Locksmith.

Cupid.

A Colored Dude.

A Colored Laundress.

A Colored Policeman.

A Violet.

A Daffodil.

A Lily-of-the-Valley.

A Ghost.

First Pitcher.

Second Pitcher.

A Fashionable Lady.

A Fashionable Gentleman.

A Tin Mouse.

COSTUMES FOR THE PLAY.

Preface.—A dress of white muslin or paper cambric. A small muslin apron entirely covered, except the hem, with printed words. A white ribbon, with "Preface" in black capitals, extending from the right shoulder diagonally to the waist, where it ends under a bow of red ribbon. On the right shoulder a red bow. The flowing hair is crowned by a dainty muslin cap trimmed with a knot of red ribbon.

Index.—A white suit. Belt bearing his name in black letters.

Violet.—A dress of fluffy material—pale lavender, with violets of deeper shade falling in a fringe around a low neck.

Daffodil.—Same in yellow.

Lily-of-the-Valley.—A white tulle with delicate green over-dress. Puffed white sleeves with ruffles of green. A bunch of lilies-of-the-valley on one shoulder.

Locksmith.—Ragged trousers, shirt, and large brown holland apron. Bunches of keys hanging from his waist.

Cupid.—Flesh-colored tights and pink trunks, quiver, and arrows.

First and Second Pitchers.—Baseball rig. Asses' ears of gray canton flannel, wired to keep them in shape.

Colored Laundress.—Dress of gaudy chintz, large check apron, and bandanna head handkerchief.

Other costumes to suit the fancy of wearers.

If the play is to take place in a parlor, be sure there is a doorway at one end connecting it with another room. A stage one foot from the floor is built right across the door, which should be right or left of the centre background. The framework for a book through which each individual or group must pass to front of stage is thus made—two uprights 5 ft. 6 in. high are placed 3 ft 4 in. apart, and fastened to the stage floor; 1 ft. 6 in. behind these uprights, and exactly opposite them, fix two others of the same height. Nail three cross-pieces at the top (leaving the side nearest the door open) to hold the frame together. This skeleton book must stand at such an angle that while one inner corner almost touches the stage entrance door, the other inner corner will be 2 ft. beyond the door. Tack a strip of asbestos down the side that represents the closed leaves of a book. A similar strip, only somewhat wider, is put on for the curved back. The side presented to the spectators is the cover of your book. It is to close and unclose like a door, so that the characters may appear to step out when the volume is opened. This cover may be of asbestos, but it should hang on hinges that move very freely. Draw across the book cover, so that each word will fill a line

"FAMILIAR QUOTATIONS."

Paint the letters in gold and some bright color. Attach a bit of twine inside the cover, midway, on the hinge side, to enable the person who engineers the book to close it without being seen.

A large table with lamp and books, and one or two chairs, will suffice for stage furniture.

The book slowly opens, revealing Preface. She steps forward, closely followed by Index, who remains right of and a little behind her.

Preface.

The Preface always is allowed First to address the expectant crowd; Whether my task's a pleasant one I shall know better—when 'tis done.

(She points to the book, Index copying all her movements.)

From out these covers, blithely tripping, Familiar friends will soon be slipping; They're tired of hiding in a book, Where you must go for them to look. To-night they mean to play before you Some trifles that we hope won't bore you; Indeed, we ask for each quotation Only its meed of approbation.

[She starts to return to the book, but is intercepted by Index, who intimates that he has something to say. Preface takes his hand, and leads him to the footlights.]

Index (first looking admiringly at Preface).

As she is first, so last am I, The Index that can tell you why And when and wherefore this was writ, And who the author is of it; When a quotation doth appear I'll do my best to make it clear.

[He bows to the audience, and escorts Preface to the book, opens the cover, and watches it close upon her, kisses his hand after her, and retires dejectedly behind the volume. The piano orchestra strikes up "The Flowers that Bloom in the Spring."]

Index (popping out his head from back of book). Gilbert and Sullivan.

[Violet, Daffodil, and Lily-of-the-Valley emerge, trip to the front, group themselves harmoniously, and dance, ending with a sweeping courtesy. Exeunt.]

The Audience. Of course that was "The Flowers that bloom in the Spring."

Index. Second quotation. Author, Dryden.

[A lady opens the book and walks with dignity across the stage. Draws a chair to front, seats herself, and slowly waves her fan. Raises a lorgnette to her eyes, rises, and turns gracefully to the left. At this moment a tin mouse on wheels is sent whizzing toward her from behind the curtain. She jumps on the chair, gathering her skirts about her, and screaming. A foppish youth comes from the book in affected excitement, and attacks the mouse with his umbrella. While the conflict goes on, the lady covers her face with her hands, now and then stealing a glance at her champion. The mouse is finally slain. The gentleman presents it, kneeling. She turns away at first, but presently dismounts and accepts the hero's arm. They go off together, he waving the mouse at the audience. The audience, after several mistakes, guesses, "None but the brave deserve the fair."]

Index (who has meanwhile frequently bobbed out from behind the book, now cries gleefully). Third quotation. A proverb! A proverb!

[The First and Second Pitchers enter, each holding a ball. They strike all sorts of baseball attitudes as they advance to footlights, then station themselves on opposite sides of stage. They throw the balls until some one guesses, "Little pitchers have big ears." Exeunt.]

Curtain.

The stage is darkened for next scene. A tall boy is draped in white. A small boy, also in flowing white, with crown of laurel such as we see in portraits of Cæsar. The hair and face whitened. The larger boy seats himself in chair (also draped in white) with rollers near cover of book. Small boy is placed astride his shoulders.

Index. Fourth quotation. An exclamation. Author unknown.

[Book opens very slowly. Some one concealed behind the chair pushes it a little beyond the book. Ghost rises deliberately, stands a moment, turns and stalks majestically to draw curtain, behind which he disappears. If the audience fails to see the point early, Index cries, "Can't you guess? Great Cæsar's ghost!"]

Curtain.

Index. Another proverb.

[The Locksmith, carrying a three-legged stool, hobbles out, seats himself on stool, draws a file from his bag, and sets to work on a great key. Cupid thrusts his curly head from the book, laughing inaudibly. He tiptoes behind the Locksmith, and tickles his neck with a feather arrow-head. Locksmith brushes at the supposed fly. The tickling continuing, Locksmith gets up and looks right and left, Cupid always dodging him. They gradually reach the book thus. As the cover is about to close, Cupid seizes the bunch of keys, laughing aloud. Locksmith turns to beat him, but the agile boy springs past him into the book, leaving him outside.

The last quotation needs no announcement. It is set to a genuine negro melody, and should be sung with a swing.

A Colored Dude enters with banjo slung across his shoulder by a ribbon. (Sings.)]

Oh let me interjuce myse'f, A gent'man f'om de Souf, What nevah wuks while other folks Puts wittles in his mouf. Den fetch de 'possum barbacue, Roas' ches'nuts, an' pop-cawn; De darkies' hour fer jamboree Is jes' befo' de dawn.

[As he concludes the verse the Colored Laundress appears and pushes him aside. (She sings.)]

You see a cullud lady here Dat scrub an' wash all day, An' ev'ry evenin' fer a res' She dance de time away.

(Duet and dance.)

So knock it off wid heel an' toe, De night is almos' gone, An' don't fergit de darkies' hour Is jes' befo' de dawn.

They are interrupted by the arrival of a pompous Colored Policeman.

The Policeman.

I'm sent ter 'rest dis company Fer 'sterbin' of de peace.

Dude and Laundress.

Now change yo' min', Mist' P'liceman, do, An' jine us in our feas'.

Chorus (dancing).

Come cut de pigeon-wing wid us, An' shore ez you is bawn You'll fin' de liv'les' darkies' hour Is jes befo' de dawn.