Volume 153 — SONGS OF FOOD PRODUCTION
Reading edition
VI.
BALLAD OF THE POTATO.
Above three hundred years ago To Britain's shores there came An immigrant of lineage low— Sol Tuberose his name. He settled down in mean estate, Despised on every side, Until at last he waxéd great, Grew rich and multiplied. Now none so popular as he; To every house he goes, At every table he must be— The great Sol Tuberose! In time of war he proves his worth He helps us everywhere; There's nothing on (or in) this earth That can with him compare. Not the great LLOYD could save the land Except for mighty Sol; For he is Bread's twin-brother—and He gives us Alcohol; Not such as fills the toper's tum, But such as fills the shell— Such as will be in days to come Heat, light, and pow'r as well. Yes, in the spacious days to come We'll bless Sol Tuberose, When all our motor engines hum On what the farmer grows. Then cultivate him all you can, With him and his stand well in; There's one that is a Nobleman, There's one Sir John Llewellyn. There's one that is a British Queen, There's one a dwarf, Ashleaf, There's one that is a plain Colleen, There's one an Arran Chief. He'll serve us if we do him well (Last year he failed our foes). Oh, who can all the praises tell Of good Sol Tuberose! W.B.
The Revenant.
"CAPTAIN STANLEY WILSON'S RETURN HOME.
"CHEERFUL AND WELL AFTER LONG INTERMENT."—Yorkshire Post.
"Gentleman, 30, offers 10/- weekly, own laundry, and help with children, refined country home. No needlework."—The Lady.
Slacker!
Letter sent by a soldier's wife to the Army Pay Department:—
"I am sending you my marage sertificate and six children there were seven but won died. You only sent six back her name was fanny and was baptised on a half sheet of paper by the reverend Thomas."

Officer (on leave). "SO YOU'RE STILL ALIVE, PETER?"
Peter. "YES, SIR—AN' I'M GOIN' TO SEE ANOTHER CHRISTMAS, SIR. YOU SEE, SIR, I'VE ALWAYS NOTICED THAT WHEN I LIVE THROUGH THE MONTH OF AUGUST I LIVE OUT THE WHOLE YEAR."