POEMS By HUGH CHESTERMAN

SETTING THE THAMES ON FIRE

You’ve heard of Tovey Trant, Esquire,

Who tried to set the Thames on fire

And would not be dissuaded

From dropping lighted matches in,

With candle-ends and paraffin

And all the things that servants use

For lighting fires that refuse

To burn unaided?

He started his experiment

At Erith on the coast of Kent,

And when it wouldn’t burn he tried

At Purfleet on the Essex side

(For Tovey was a trier).

He tried at Cleeve (near Nettlebed),

And then again at Maidenhead,

But all the people watching said,

“Go higher, Trant, go higher!”

So up he moved to Hurley Mill

And then to Caversham, and still

The stupid stream would not ignite;

Although he tried with all his might

He could not set the Thames alight,

And that there’s no denying.

125He tried at Stoke, and then a spot

Near Wallingford, and Wolvercot,

Again at Bablock, and so up

To Shifford, Rushy Lock and Thrupp,

And Inglesham. At Water Hay

He neared the source, and there, they say,

Poor Tovey’s still a-trying.

Hugh Chesterman

126

Setting the Thames on fire.

127

THE WANDERER

What open ways before him lie!

High hills where Earth with Heav’n meets,

And shining downs where plovers cry,

Or idle towns with crooked streets.

But vain to ask which way have gone

Those vagrant feet—for no one knows

What urgent star compels him on,

Nor whence he came—nor where he goes.

Hugh Chesterman

128

The Wanderer.

129

THE WRANGLERS

There was a man of Languedoc

Who had a friend in Wapping;

For seven hours by the clock

They’d argue without stopping;

They’d talk of this and tell of that,

And contradict each other flat

On any given topic.

And if the one did introduce

A subject deep or too abstruse,

The other fell to sharp abuse,

And tempers would grow “tropic.”

“I’d sooner argue with a block!”

Protested he from Languedoc.

“For all I care, my friend, you can,”

Replied the wrathful Wapping man.

Hugh Chesterman

130

The Wranglers.

131