THE PROMOTER'S VADE MECUM
Reading edition
(Subject to Revision after the Vacation)
Question. What is meant by the promotion of a company?
Answer. The process of separating capital from its possessor.
Q. How is this end accomplished?
A. By the preparation and publication of a prospectus.
Q. Of what does a prospectus consist?
A. A front page and a statement of facts.
Q. Define a front page.
A. The bait covering the hook, the lane leading to the pitfall, the lath concealing the quagmire—occasionally.
Q. Of what is a front page composed?
A. Titles, and other suggestions of respectability.
Q. How are these suggestions obtained?
A. In the customary fashion.
Q. Can a banking account be put to any particular service in the promotion of a company?
A. Certainly; it eases the wheels in all directions.
Q. Can it obtain the good-will of the Press?
A. Only of questionable and usually short-lived periodicals.
Q. But the destination of the cash scarcely affects the promoter?
A. No; for he loses in any case.
Q. How much of his profits does he sometimes have to disgorge?
A. According to circumstances, from three-fifths to nineteen-twentieths of his easily-secured takings.
Q. And what does promotion do for the promoter?
A. It usually bestows upon him temporary prosperity.
Q. Why do you say "temporary"?
A. Because a pleasant present is frequently followed by a disastrous future.
Q. You mean, then, that this prosperity is like the companies promoted, "limited"?
A. Yes, by the Court of Bankruptcy.
"ON 'CHANGE"
Brown. "Mornin'. Fresh mornin', ain't it?"
Smith. "'Course it is. Every morning's a fresh morning! By-bye!"
[
Brown's temper all day is quite unbearable.
Sympathetic Passer-by. "But if he's badly hurt, why doesn't he go to the hospital?"
British Workman. "Wot! In 'is dinner-time!!"