ADVERTISEMENT PERVERSIONS
Reading edition
(By Dumb-Crambo, Junior)
Washing wanted Left-off clothing
Vacancy for one pupil Branch establishment
Improver wanted in the dressmaking Engagement wanted, as housekeeper. Highly recommended
Board and residence Unfurnished flat
Smart youth wanted Mangling done on the shortest notice
River Styx.—"The thousand masts of Thames."
The Man we should like to send to a Séance.—The man who knows how to hit the happy medium.
Appropriate Locale for the Dairy Show.—Chalk Farm.
A Tidy Drop.—A glass of spirits, neat.
LORD MAYOR'S SHOW AS IT OUGHT TO BE
Designed by Mr. Punch's Special Processionist
ANOTHER SUGGESTION FOR THE LORD MAYOR'S SHOW AS IT OUGHT TO BE
"'Nuts for the monkeys, sir? Buy a bag o' nuts for the monkeys!"
"I'm not going to the Zoo."
"Ah, well, sir, have some to take home to the children!"
HYDE PARK, MAY 1
Country Cousin. "What is the meaning of this, policeman?"
Constable. "Labour day, miss."
Boy (to Cabby with somewhat shadowy horse). "Look 'ere, guv'nor, you'd better tie a knot in 'is tail afore 'e gets wet, or 'e might slip through 'is collar!"
Indignant Cabby. "Shockin' bad 'orse, 'ave I? And wot's this hextra tuppence for?—to buy a new 'un with, eh?"