THE TRIPPER
Reading edition
(By a Resident)
What does he come for? What does he want? Why does he wander thus Careworn and gaunt? Up street and down street with Dull vacant stare, Hither and thither, it Don't matter where? What does he mean by it? Why does he come Hundreds of miles to prowl, Weary and glum, Blinking at Kosmos with Lack-lustre eye? He doesn't enjoy it, he Don't even try! Sunny or soaking, it's All one to him, Wandering painfully— Curious whim! Gazing at china-shops, Gaping at sea, Guzzling at beer-shops, or Gorging at tea. Why don't he stay at home, Save his train fare, Soak at his native beer, Sunday clothes wear? No one would grudge it him, No one would jeer. Why does he come away? Why is he here?
BLACKPOOL BRIGHTON MARGATE
A SLIGHT MISUNDERSTANDING
Landlady. "I hope you slept well, sir?"
New Boarder. "No, I didn't. I've been troubled with insomnia."
Landlady. "Look here, young man. I'll give you a sovereign for every one you find in that bed!"
TOUCHING APPEAL
Testy Old Gent. (wearied by the importunities of the Brighton boatmen). "Confound it, man! Do I look as if I wanted a boat?"