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The celebrated and effectual English cure, without internal medicine. W. EDWARD & SON, Props., London, Eng. Wholesale, E. FOUGERA & CO., New York
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The FINEST SAMPLE BOOK of Gold Beveled Edge, Hidden Name, Silk Fringe, Envelope and Calling Cards ever offered for a 2 cent stamp. These are GENUINE CARDS, NOT TRASH. UNION CARD CO., COLUMBUS, OHIO.
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FOR 1896. 50 Sample Styles AND LIST OF 400 PREMIUM ARTICLES FREE. HAVERFIELD PUB. CO., Cadiz, Ohio.
By KIRK MUNROE
Snow-Shoes and Sledges
A Sequel to "The Fur-Seal's Tooth." Illustrated. Post 8vo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1.25.
Brimful of adventures admirably recorded. The young folks will take delight in it.... We confess to having read every word of the journal with as much interest as we once read "Robinson Crusoe" or the "Swiss Family Robinson."—Christian Intelligencer, N. Y.
A book which will hold the interest of its readers from beginning to end.—N. Y. Evening Post.
BY THE SAME AUTHOR:
THE FUR-SEAL'S TOOTH.—RAFTMATES.—CANOEMATES.—CAMP-MATES—DORYMATES.—Each one volume. Illustrated. Post 8vo, Cloth, $1.25.
WAKULLA.—THE FLAMINGO FEATHER.—DERRICK STERLING.—CHRYSTAL, JACK & CO. and DELTA BIXBY: Two Stories. Each one volume. Illustrated. Square, 16mo, Cloth, $1.00.
HARPER & BROTHERS, Publishers, New York
HADN'T SEEN IT.
"My Pa says you can have your photograph took now so as to show nothing but your skeleton," said Bob.
"What's a skeleton?" asked Jack.
"I don't know exactly," said Bob, "but everybody has one."
"I haven't," returned Jack. "Leastways, if I have, I haven't never seen it."
A YANKEE'S IDEA OF THE ALPS.
An American was stopping in Rome, and one day he overheard some Europeans boasting about the beauty of the scenery of Europe. It grew so tiresome at last that he turned around and politely joined in the conversation, incidentally introducing some remarks about the grandeur of the Rocky Mountains, their height, etc.
"But," said one of the Europeans, "surely, Mr. American, you must have crossed the Alps Mountains when you came to Rome! What did you think of them?"
"Why, now you speak of them, I do remember passing over some rising ground, something that would probably require a tow-horse if a street-car line ran over it."
BOBBIE'S LATEST JOKE.
"I saw a pair of gaiters the other day that the bravest man living wouldn't dare to wear," said Bobbie.
"What kind were they?" asked Tommie.
"Alligators," said Bobbie.
A REMEDY.
"Poor little baby!", said Ethel, sympathizingly, as her new brother wept. "Mamma, why don't you give him some of that smoothing syrup?"
A GOOD REASON.
"I don't see why you sent me to bed for being just impudent," sobbed Wilbur.
"It is very easily explained," said his father. "You are impudent because you got out of bed on the wrong side this morning. I want you to go to bed for an hour, and then see if you can't get out on the right side."
A pun-loving little chap went to school the other morning with a dirty face, and when the teacher asked him why he didn't wash it, he said,
"Why, ma'am, I've got such a cold in my head I was afraid the water would freeze on my face."
HE TURNED.
"Right face! Left face! About face!"
The little fat red-faced sergeant bawled out his orders and watched the line of feet as the raw recruits endeavored to follow them out. To his astonishment, one pair of feet, more noticeable on account of their extra large size, never turned. Without taking his eyes off these feet, the little sergeant bawled out a second order, "About face!" He could see that all the feet except those he watched turned in obedience. Rushing up to the owner, a little fellow, he seized him by the shoulder, shouting, "Why don't you turn with the rest?"
"Why, I did," replied the trembling recruit.
"You did, eh? Well, I watched your feet, and they never moved."
"It's the shoes they gave me, sir," said the poor fellow. "They're so large that when I turn my feet turns in them."
QUITE A DIFFERENCE.
Mamma. "I'm afraid my Polly is a very obstinate little girl."
Polly. "No, I isn't, mamma; I'm a strong character."
A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION.
Teacher. "Can any little boy tell me which is the longest day in the year?"
Billy. "Some fellows say the day before Christmas is, and some say the day before the Fourth of July."
AN EASTER ENTERTAINMENT—AS VIEWED FROM THE GALLERY. "Oh, Chimmie! there's sheeps and chickens and green trees, and the grass is covered wid diamonds, and a beautiful lady carrying a milk-pail wid yeller hair; hold me up just a minit longer, and i'll blow yer in fer a whole pie."
