Volume 2 — Pasture Pot Pourri
Reading edition
Yoo-Hoo! Skinny! C’mon over, ’n bring your own bottle.
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There was an old man from Trenton, Who gnashed his false teeth till he Bentem; When asked what he’d lost, and what they had cost, He replied: “I don’t know, I just Rentem.”
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OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND LET THE MOONSHINE IN.
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Never miss anything that’s been saved.
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It’s better to be brought up on a bottle than to be brought down by one.
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A small boy’s idea of greatness is to be able to lick another boy a size larger.
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Lip to lip Nose to nose, Flippety flop, Away she goes.
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When your good home brew is old and cold, Call me up and revive my soul.
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Story for the Children
Oh, chase me, kid, I’m a lollypop! Aw, g’wan, d’yuh think I’m an all-day sucker.
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Would You?
I would if I could, but I can’t; I wish I could, but I can’t; ’Twill do me no good to think What I’d do if I could; I might, but I probably shan’t.
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Irate Father: Dorothy, has that young man gone yet?
No, but I’ve got him going.
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Second Stanza
Getting married: Meet me at eleven and by twelve we’ll be one. Getting divorced: Meet me at twelve and by one we’ll be two.
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A raisin in wine saves time.
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Famous Army Songs
The Larger the Spoon the Louder the Noise.
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Gus, our hired man, says he was engaged to a girl who had a wooden leg, but he broke it off.
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Latest Popular Song
“Babes in the Wood,” by James A. Stillman.