Volume 2 — Budd’s Bundle of Bunk
Reading edition
BY BUDD L. McKILLIPS
“My,” said the old lady after her first night auto ride into the country, “the people who fix automobiles will make a lot of money tomorrow. Every few blocks there was a car standing with nobody around it. It was so dark that I couldn’t see if they were smashed up, but I guess the people must have walked back to town.”
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Omar Up To Date
What is it the bootlegger buys One-half so vicious as the stuff he sells?
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Blank Verse
EMIL ASKED CLARA TO TAKE A WALK WITH HIM AND PICK FLOWERS, BUT CLARA’S BROTHER CAME ALONG, AND SO THEY PICKED FLOWERS.
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Mrs. Bloolaw laid down her newspaper with an angry snort. “I see where they are talking about reviving the ‘Passion Play’; another of those disgraceful shows, I suppose.”
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“How much,” asked John Burroughs in his daily Nature column, “does it cost to set a tree out in the street?”
Some festive friends of ours set a bartender out in the street in the days B. P. and if memory is correct it cost them $10 and costs.
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“People Who Ride in Our Car Never Have to Walk Back Home” advertises a St. Louis automobile agency. The girl in the house next door says a hat pin gives her the same assurance.
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If there’s one secluded spot That I would like to own And fence about, ’tis that small plot Where my wild oats were sown.
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She asked him if he’d take a seat, But he, his blushes hiding, Replied that he preferred to stand, For he’d been horseback riding.
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The porcupine may have his quills, The elephant his trunk, But when it comes to common scents My money’s on the skunk.