WHAT IS A PHILANTHROPIST?
Reading edition
"A philanthropist is an old gentleman, probably with a bald head."
There are moments in a man's life when there is a contest between the lip and the eye, whether we should smile or cry. I am sure you would not like to see me cry just now, but there is a certain amount of sentiment in an affair of this sort. For a person in my position it is rather trying. I feel very much like the little boy you all knew in your nursery stories. The boy had a pie, and "he put in his thumb and pulled out a plum and said 'What a good boy am I.'" That is what I feel now. I suppose I should feel like a philanthropist. You probably all know what a philanthropist is. A philanthropist is an old gentleman, probably with a bald head, and he tries to make his conscience think he is doing good all the while he is having his pocket picked.
St. Mellons' Show, September 29th, 1909.