AT AN ATHLETIC CLUB DINNER.

"I am afraid all the dumb bells in the world would not get me up to that."

When I came into the room I expected to find one half of the company on crutches and the other half in splints. I am not at all certain that I am the proper man to be President of this club, because I think that the President of an athletic club should measure at least 48 inches round the chest, and ought to have biceps of 18 inches, and scale at least 14 stone 7 lbs. I am afraid all the dumb bells in the world would not get me up to that. I am what might be called an old fossil, though I cannot boast of the garrulity of old age, and therefore I will not tell you that when I played football I was always kicking the ball out of the ground into the river; or that when I played cricket I always drove the ball into the river. Those are facts well known in Newport.

First Annual Dinner of the Newport Athletic Club, April 19th, 1890.