Volume 10 — ANATOLE DUBOIS AT DE HORSE SHOW

My vife an' me ve read so moch In papier here of late, About Chicago Horse Show, ve Remember day an' date. Ve mak' it op togedder dat Ve go an' see dat show, Dere's som't'ing dere ve fin' it out Maybe ve vant to know. Ve leave de leddle farm avile, Dat's near to Bourbonnais; Ve're soon op to Chicago town For spen' de night an' day; I nevere lak' dat busy place, It's mos' too swif for me,— Ve vaste no tam', but gat to place Dat ve is com' for see. Ve pay de price for tak' us in, Dey geeve me deux ticquette; Charlotte an' me ve com' for see De Horse Show now, you bet. Ve soon gat in it veree moch, "De push," I t'ink you call, To inside on de beeg building, Ve're going to see it all. De Coliseum is de place, Dey mak' de Horse Show dere, Five tam's so beeg dan any barn At Bourbonnais, by gar! I'm look aroun' for place dey haf' For dem to pitch de hay. "I guess it's 'out of sight,' I t'ink," Dey's von man to me say. An' den ve valk aroun' an' 'roun' Som' horses for to see; Dere's pretty vomans, lots of dem, But, for de life of me, I can not see de trotter nag, Or vat's called t'oroughbred, I vonder if ve mak' mistake, Gat in wrong place instead. But Charlotte is not disappoint', Her eyes dey shine so bright, It's ven she sees dem vimmens folks, Dey dance vit moch delight; I den vos tak' a look myself On ladies vit fin' drass, Dere's nodding else in dat whol' place Dat is so interes'. I say, "Charlotte," say I to her, "Dat ladee in box seat— Across de vay vos von beeg swell, Her beauty's hard to beat; De von dat's gat fonee eyeglass Opon a leddle stek, I'm t'ink she is most' fin' lookin' Wen she bow an' spe'k. "It's pretty drass dat she's got on, I lak' de polonaise, Vere bodice it is all meex op Vit jabot all de vays. Dat's hang in front vit pleats all roun'— It is von fin' tableau." An' den Charlotte she turn to me An' ask me how I know So moch about de Beeg Horse Show, W'ich we are com' for see; An' den I op an' tol' her dere Dat I had com' to be Expert on informatione, Read papier, I fin' out Vat all is in de Horse's Show, An' vat's it all about. I point to ladee in nex' box, She's feex op mighty vell, I vish I could haf' vords enough Vat she had on to tell; De firs' part it vas nodding moch, From cloth it vas quite free, Lak' fleur-de-lis at Easter tam', Mos' beautiful to see. An' den dere is commence a line Of fluffy cream soufflé, My vife it mak' her very diz', She's not a vord to say. An' den com' yard of crêpe de chine, Vit omelette stripe beneadt', All fill it op vit fine guimpe jew'ls An' concertina pleat. Mon Dieu! an' who vould evere t'ink Dat Horse Show vas lak' dese! A Horse Show dere vidout no horse, I t'ink dat's strange beeznesse. But I suppose affer de man De dry-goods bill dey pay, Dere's nodding lef' to spen' on horse Ontil som' odder day. I tell you every hour you leeve, You fin' out som't'ing new; An' now I haf' som' vords to tell, Som' good it might do you; It's mighty fonny, de advise I'm geeve to you, of course, But never go to Horses Show Expecting to see horse.