THE TWENTY-THIRD PAPYRUS

But, when rosy-fingered Dawn had donned her saffron robes, arising from her couch in the ocean to bring light to mortals and immortals, then, indeed, we were nearing Tainaron, where lay the hollow ship with the shipmen expecting my coming. And, when they saw us whizzing out of a dusty cloud like a flash of white thunder (for, on the one side, the hair of Golden Helen streamed behind us as streams a long ray of sunbeams in no breeze, and, on the other side, my mantle of silver tissue lined with white fur and clasped with the Moon and the Crab in rock-crystals and blue moonstones floated at large and at length beneath my towering crest of the prides of nine white peacocks), and, when they saw Neandros and Thalos, mysteriously lost, returning, and, when they saw the large silver Love very much alive, and, when they heard the gleeful whoopings of untameable Love and the terrible whirring of the chariot-wheels, then, indeed, their knees tottered, and their breath popped out, and their hearts stood quite still for fear, so that their life left them, and pale Death veiled their eyes.

But we lighted in the middle of the lofty prow, even as a bird lights on the branch of a blooming tree;⁠[57] and, when fair Helen pulled the silver chain, instantly ruddy-white Love soared out of his silver image into the boundless empyrean; and thus we came to the end of our journey by land.

And now I was in a sort of quandary. For, knowing that I should need all my strength of mind and body on lofty Olympos, knowing (also) that rule of magic which says that a man of fluid temper (such as I am) can best collect a reserve of such strength from the sea, I had determined to go, by favour of azure-haired Poseidon, in my galley, from Tainaron in the south, by the Eyboik Gulph, to the small port of Myrai at the foot of mighty Mount Ossa in the north. But the rest of the journey would be made more splendidly, in my silver-shining chariot, by land.

But (such is the lot of miserable mortals, who forget to inquire the length of the life-threads, which the blameless Fates have spun for their fellows), I found myself, at the very outset of my voyage by sea, possessed of a huge well-benched ship with all its appurtenances in perfect order, but encumbered with the corpses of one-and-sixty mariners suddenly deceased, and a mere toy for the sea-gods. For which causes, I sat me down on the lofty poop, taking my dear head in my hands: and I began to contrive most astonishing wiles. But Golden Helen sat by my side, like a true lover who knows when to speak to her man and when to hold her peace. But my two slaves waited silently in their places.

And, at length, it appeared to the mind in my lordly breast that the gods, divine ones inhabiting olympian palaces, are wont to deal with mortal men in this manner, shewing them singular favours so that they may be encouraged to expect (and, even, to insist on) a continuance of the same. For, as it is with a man, when he can do a certain deed very well, straightway he desires also to do it very often, for the benefit of the race of men and for all sorts of other pious and religious reasons, so, also, indeed, precisely, is it with the blessed gods, givers of good things. Wherefore, then, seeing that tameless Love had willingly bound himself (with a silver chain) to serve me and long-robed Helen, I contrived an altogether unmentioned and unthought-of magic: so that that ruddy bird of heaven might not have cause to complain that I let his blooming wings grow rusty with disuse.

Wherefore, I said unwinged words to Neandros and Thalos, explaining to them what they were to do. But, first, having pitched the dead mariners overboard to lighten the ship, together we drew in the long oars, bestowing them tidily as a rampart inside the bulwarks and fixing them there with well-twisted knots. These things having been accomplished, and the whole ship having been set in a new order, we took a spare sail, white and vermilion, silken, with certain cordage, out of the store. And, when we had ascended the lofty prow, we fastened the wheels of the silver-shining chariot, fixing it where it stood, immoveably, in the middle of the prow, so that a man might walk round and about it if he pleased, then, indeed, we hanged the beautiful sail over it, and fastened the same to the bulwarks, in the manner of an awning with vermilion fringes. Thus, the splendour of the chariot was concealed from the eyes of casual inquisitives: but the silver image of Love emerged above the awning as a figure-head for my galley: and the taslets of the silver chain about his reins dangled down inside.

And, all being ready, I (with my slaves) weighed anchor: but Golden Helen pulled the chain of the silver image. And, instantly, young Love descended into his image; and the silver Love lived, flying with his tireless wings; so that the great ship moved most rapidly across the frightened sea, having neither oars nor other sail. But I governed the course with the steering-oar; and the divine one of goddesses was near me.⁠[58]

Now when I came again to hold council with my noble mind, I was aware that (in winning the Treasure of Hades) I procured for myself such a companion as I never had had before. In sooth I have had comrades a many in my various lives; and, among them I will name the most desirable Red Heart of the southern sea, and the glorious son of Sycorax, and the unchangeable George of the Roses, and timidly-false Aubrey, and Hugh the priest devoured by hidden hatred and envy and prepotence, and blind Karterikos of Bosporos, and loving Vergilio, and naïve elegant Khekkhi, and also Diomedes of the loud war-cry, and great-hearted yellow-headed Akhilleys. Now, with a man, a man may fight, and (at any rate) must quarrel: or there can be no true love, for love is not proved true until it has been tested by reconciliation after strife, preferably very bloody. And herein is the difference between a comrade and a companion.⁠[59] For, with a woman, no man may dispute: but, if she has an evil mind, he may avoid her or annul her: but, when the gods, givers of good gifts, send to a man such a woman as he may fitly take for a companion, then, indeed, he becomes one with her, in that her ill is his hurt and her good his benefit. For it is very pleasing to the pride of a man to have a treasure to guard and to care for. And, until this time, all my wiles and all my wisdom had not won for me such a treasure. Not but what Queen Penelope had been a true wife to me while she had life on the earth: but, of those years there were twenty, when wars and the displeasure of certain blameless gods kept me away from her, so that (speaking with perfect respect to her face) I may say that she was a faithful wife and a most prudent housewife, but not by any means a companion. And, as for the quite-irrelevant matter of those divine ones of goddesses with whom I had intimate relations, to wit, deathless Kirke and Kalypso of the greasy braided tresses, who (I ask) can presume to talk about companionship when a man is imprisoned, with an awful woman, on a little islet surrounded by the boundless ruthlessly-smiling sea. But Golden Helen was altogether different from these three. Thus I meditated in my Love-sped galley.

But, coming to Khalkis, we stayed there, to procure sweet water and nutriments, before proceeding northward by the Eyboik Gulph. And hard-hearted envious Hera, that arch-mischiefmaker among goddesses, sent me a horrid adventure, in the hope of impeding my progress.

For, while my slave Neandros was negociating with merchants on the quay, loading the hollow ship with cheeses, and wheat (the marrow of men), and the flesh of bulls and swine, with herbs and dainty birds, and jars of oil and wine and beer, and casks of sweet water, I, with long-robed Helen, landed privately to view the city. For I had heard that Romans were occupying holy Eyboia at that time, the island of rich vines, whence Elephenor son of Khalkodon led the proud long-haired Abantes in forty black ships to the siege of windy Ilion. And, neither in the future from which (for a religious reason) I had come, nor in the past from which also I had come, had I ever seen the conquering Romans in their togas as they lived, excepting once by chance in Khem. For which cause I determined to use this opportunity of informing my inquisitive mind.

And we too, therefore, happy as children who have found out a new game, disguised ourselves before we went to play truant in Khalkis. For fair Helen covered herself with a dark robe, veiling also her hair like a web of woven sunbeams: but I did on a tunic of grey wolves’ skins having on my head a berreta of ferret-skins, taking also a very sharp sword and a pouch full of silver and gold. And, when we came to the landward end of the quay, a beak-nosed soldier armed in cheap bronze stopped us; and he demanded of us diplomas permitting us to draw sweet breath in Roman territory. For it seemed that the Romans, like locusts, were infesting the whole earth. I, indeed, began to try to edge in a wily word about a beverage: but the soldier led me to the guard-house to settle the matter with his decurion, who, also, was a dull boor amenable neither to words nor bribes. For I told him that my name was Ithakides son of Ithakos son of Ptenopedilos son of Kelainephes Polyonomos, and that I came from Egypt where I had been collecting antiquities: all of which was perfectly true and entirely misleading, simply because the lout was ignorant of the various uses of words. Also I said that the lady was my wife, sister of certain friends of mine by cognomen Asterostephanoi, who was taking a voyage for the benefit of her health and to visit her aged father in Thessaly. And that also was true. But it seemed that the decurion’s duty was only to ask questions, but not to pay the slightest regard to the answers. And he would not take a bribe, because (I am sure) no one had ever offered him such a thing before, and he was dreadfully afraid. But he said merely that I must go to prison pending an inquiry.

And I, indeed, made no objection, being always greedy for new experiences, and, moreover, both I and Golden Helen did not restrain our laughter when we remembered who we were to whom such indignities were offered. Wherefore, having tucked away my natural ferocity, I was as meek as a clod: but I watched events with steady eyes. But I told fair Helen to go to a convent of the priestesses of Pallas Athene near the market-place, there to wait till I should be dismissed without a stain upon my character. And, presently, the centurion himself appeared; and he would escort her thither: for he, indeed, perceived that we were persons of quality; and he said that, if nothing against me could be collected by the following day, he would give me a diploma valuable for all Akhaia. Also, he regretted my detention, assuring me that he himself was under authority. And, when he came back from attending the divine one of goddesses, we conversed, until I had emptied his mind into mine: but that was a pastime, and not a new labour for Herakles.

And, when Dawn (the mother of morning) was come again, and, when Helios Hyperion had driven the chariot of the sun to the height of heaven and was on the downward way toward his bed in the ocean, then, the Roman centurion (having found out no ill of me) gave me the promised diploma, setting me at liberty. But I hastened to the convent of the priestesses of Pallas Athene. But the portress said that the divine one of goddesses had been summoned to meet me at the palace of the governour of the province, whither she had gone at noon, with a plump of spearmen for a guard. To which place I followed her as quickly as possible; and the mind in my dear breast was full of dire foreboding. For I remembered certain words which the centurion had let fall in his cups of the previous night, concerning the sins of Roman governours in general, who bought their governourships by bribes, expecting to recoup themselves (for the outlay of a lifetime) by the crimes which a year of governourship made possible. Also, he had spoken of the governour of Akhaia in particular, by name Anthemius Cotta, saying that he was a Nouus Homo of coarse manners and huge wealth accumulated (no one knew how) in Asia, that he had bought his governourship, being possessed of a gluttonous appetite for the eels of Lake Kopais, greedily engorging the same without ceasing excepting to pant occasionally, and, that he was despised and detested, inasmuch as he cultivated Asiatic vices, filling his palace with females, slaves, guarded by black eunuchs.

But I found no sentry at the palace-gate, so lax is the rule of a luxurious governour. An elegant slave in a Persian mitre, however, mentioned that Anthemius Cotta had finished the business of the day. And then, indeed, divine Rage inflamed me with the desire of horribly pinching and mangling; and, staring very starkly, I invaded the place without more ado. Crowds of feeble persons fell away from me, as I passed in frightful silence. And, suddenly, I heard the voice of Golden Helen moaning for me by name.

But I rushed toward the sound, tearing down a curtain, and running along a painted hall where a meal was spread. At the other end, a single negro, armed with a monstrous curving scymetar, kept watch before another curtained door. His grinning head sprang to the right, and his blood-spouting carcase thudded to the left: but I passed between, passing to the divine one of goddesses.

She was at the far end of the chamber, back to wall. Two loathsome rolling-eyed eunuchs lay at her feet, blasted by her amber fires. But there were others, about to attempt an onslaught. And, before her, stood the Roman governour, a ceruminous personality, fatty and pustulous, and of proboscidian flaccidity. Upon whom I wreaked many most mind-grieving evils, saying nothing. For, first, I impaled him, thrusting my sword through his right shoulder, and spinning him (yelling) round by the hilt to face me. Next, having clutched a handful of his glabrous forehead and a large handful of his cataract of chins, I tore off his countenance; and threw it away. But he dropped on his belly, scrabbling the floor with tettered toes and fingers.

But the eunuchs were petrified with terror; and Golden Helen, seeing me near, was ready to swoon. Her, indeed, I bore (senseless) to a couch; and bestowed her safely while I finished the business.

The eunuchs had to turn the Roman governour face upward and to spit by turns into his rolling lidless eyes, while he winced, mewling with unlipped mouth. I drew my sword from its fat sheath, and flashed it through the eunuchs’ necks, so that they fell asunder in a heap, but their heads rolled about the floor. I was minded also to carve Anthemius Cotta slowly into slices: but my gorge rose somewhat squeamishly. For which cause, I only cut the sinews of his knees and elbows, and heaped the carcases of his slaves upon him, having collected their black heads: but I stuffed his own face into his mouth. And, being satiated with slaughter, I covered the mound with a door-curtain, lest the eyes of the goddess should be offended.

But her, I carried into the painted hall; and, having cleansed myself in several bowls of rosewater, I used the wine (which was there) to restore her. And anon we left the palace, being of an aspect so godly and terrific, that the slaves scuffled (cat-like) to hide themselves as we passed by. But, hastening to the quay, we ascended the hollow ship, flying away as quickly as possible.

Thus I did, visiting Khalkis, a city on the island of Eyboia.

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