THE FIFTEENTH PAPYRUS

But, having returned to Kirrha, I went up into the curved ship, and I sailed propitiously southward for Tainaron, dark, forbidding to strangers. And, while I was voyaging, I pondered the words of the oracle.

But, as I thought of these things, many remembrances crept out of my mind, crowding upon me: for, when I was a liegeman of Victory queen of the stalwart stately Anglicans, and also when I was a priest of Queen Isis in the land of Khem, I had been oblivious of many great and wily deeds which I had done in the morning of the world. But, now, I began to remember many things concerning lofty Ilion, and wars, and windy Fate, and my sometime comrades there; and the black bow of Eyrytos vibrated in my hand, and my glance fixed itself on the dazzling sheen of my huge silver shield; and the bow sang to me of implacable young yellow-haired Akhilleys, and faithful temerarious Patrokles his friend, and fearless ruddy-headed Neoptolemos his son, and magnanimous Agamemnon shepherd of the people and leader of the Argive hosts, and aged Phoinix who (when a boy) obeyed his mother, and proud insane Aias, and Aitolian Diomedes of the loud war-cry with whom I spied on the Dardanians and stole the horses of Rhesos king of the Thrakians, and Idomeneys the Kretan fierce as flame, and my own dear son wise Telemakhos, and, also, the blameless foes of the rolling-eyed Argives, to wit, pious runaway Aineias and accursed crest-tossing Hektor, and old Priam with his sons Lykaon and Kebriones and godlike Polydoros the runner, all blameless, and woman-mad Paris of the splendid body, and also equal-handed Asteropaios: nor was I unmindful of bandy-legged woolly-haired Thersites, the very ugliest man of all who came to Ilion. And, furthermore, my singing bow began to sing to me, and it sang of the white-armed slave Lyrnessian Briseis, and of the inquisitive Deidamia, and of perfidious Klytaimnestra wife of Agamemnon, and of unhappy Andromakhe, and of prudent Penelope, and of beautiful golden Helen daughter of Zeys the Swan.

But the mind in my lordly breast busied itself with causes and effects: for I began to understand many more things, and one thing specially above all things, this, to wit, that these heroes (my friends and enemies) strove as I strove, and endured as I endured, and contrived their plans as I contrived my very wily plans, all for a prize and a crown. And, further, it seemed to me that, in all my striving after wisdom, there was one branch of knowledge which I had not considered even rudimentarily: for, as far as I remembered, I had never permitted myself (as all other heroes permit themselves) to go stark mad for love of a woman. But that was chiefly due to my nature, which caused me to hide my soft and hungry heart beneath a hard and cruel armour of proof. Yet other men, not less brave (though far less wily) than I, loved women, not coolly, as I had loved prudent Penelope (whom I always used most respectfully and kindly), but perfervidly and even hairily and with utter self-renunciation. And I began to wonder why my wisdom had omitted to take count of rather more than half the human race. And I began to wonder whether my comrades had gained certain rewards of wisdom by their madness which I, by my wily self-control had not attained. For I suddenly remembered the old adage, What I gained, I lost: What I lost, I won: What I gave, I have.

Now I blamed divine Memory: for she was treating me in a scurvy and niggardly manner, doling out mere handfuls of all the wealth of notions and ideas which, from time to time, I had been used to store in her cells. For the wise man ought not to utter a judgment until he knows all the matter to be judged. And I did not know all. Wherefore I put myself to ponder the little which I knew.

And, one by one, slowly, and painfully, certain other matters were brought out and laid before my mind.

For I remembered that the oldest and the youngest and the most venerated and by far the most exceedingly powerful of all the gods is Love. And, also, I remembered that each one of us, who stamp on the wide-bosomed earth, is no more than a moiety and counterpart of a perfect human creature. For, very early in the morning of the world, Zeys Pampator cut all mortals in two, halving them, for a religious reason, and on account of their ineffable prepotence. Wherefore, having once been a whole being, and being now but the half of a whole being, all articulately-speaking men most fervently desire and pursue any other creature whom they take to be their lost counterpart, that the two halves may again be mingled and fused in one: for, as Plato definitely teaches, Love is the Desire and Pursuit of the Whole. For which cause, I was aware that all men and all women needed nothing more than this, and nothing so much as this, that Love should work out perfectly, each finding other, returning to the aboriginal nature. These things, then, occupied the mind in my breast.

And, moreover, I considered how that I was going (obeying the Delphic oracle) where I twice had been before, once alive and once dead, to wit, to the House of Hades, tremendous king of infernal shades, whom I was to despoil of his treasure and the crown of all wisdom. Yet, still, I knew not what that treasure and crown might be. And, having remembered thus much of the past, I held a sort of council with my noble mind, which determined me to despoil that king of whatever might seem to be of greatest worth in his kingdom.

Wherefore, having summoned Thalos my slave, bathed and purified, I set the magic mirror on his palm, bidding him to gaze therein, and laying a very strong spell on him so that he should have clear sight of that one thing of which I had no knowledge.

And his little body became rigid; and his long black eyes stared; and the sweet sweat oozed like dewdrops from his flesh, and he shook with fear, insomuch that I chained his arms and legs with my own hands as in brazen manacles, forcing him to do my will. And, when I refused him permission to swoon, then his rigours took him stupendously; and, being as rigid as a strung bow, he began to declare his vision, saying: The golden goddess, sitting with her star-crowned brothers, in the dark, disdaining a victorious hero, and an unmanlike king, and a shepherd beloved of goddesses, and innumerable warriors contending among themselves. And then I could no longer hold him: for limb-relaxing Sleep, the all-subduer, drew him from me.

But I knew what I wanted to know.

For this utterance was all of a piece with the divination which my same slave had made, when he wore a young Egyptian body on the sacred river of Khem, saying: The silver god, leading the golden goddess, from the dark. For who was the golden goddess in the dark, but fair long-robed golden Helen daughter of Zeys the Swan, dwelling in the unlighted House of Hades?

And who were her star-crowned brothers, but the Great Twins, godlike youths, Kastor the tamer of horses and Polydeykes the pugilist, star-crowned sharers of immortality?

And whose blameless homage was refused by Golden Helen, but that of the victorious hero Theseys, and that of sandy-haired old impotent Menelaos, and that of the woman-mad shepherd Paris beloved of Hera and Aphrodite and Pallas Athene most righteous of goddesses?

And for whom, but for Golden Helen, had innumerable warriors, my comrades and my enemies, contended during ten long years of war, and after?

And I asked of the mind in my lordly breast, saying: Who, then, is the Treasure of Hades?

And my mind answered me, saying: Who but Golden Helen, sought of all men.

Then, indeed, the mind in my dear breast bounded with an unmentioned and unthought-of joy in thinking of these things, and in remembering also the things which were to come, to wit, the leading of the golden goddess from the dark, the moving with her among gods and goddesses, and the sitting with her on a throne.

In this manner did I find out the meaning of the Delphic oracle and the spoil which I was to win from the king of the netherworld with the crown of all wisdom.