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The Humorous Poetry of the English Language; from Chaucer to Saxe

Part 4 — COLLOQUY ON A CAB-STAND. ADAPTED FOR THE BOUDOIR. PUNCH.

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"OH! WILLIAM," JAMES was heard to say— JAMES drove a hackney cabriolet: WILLIAM, the horses of his friend, With hay and water used to tend. "Now, tell me, WILLIAM, can it be, That MAYNE has issued a decree, Severe and stern, against us, planned Of comfort to deprive our Stand?"

"I fear the tale is all too true," Said WILLIAM, "on my word I do." "Are we restricted to the Row And from the footpath?" "Even so."

"Must our companions be resigned, We to the Rank alone confined?" "Yes; or they apprehend the lads Denominated Bucks and Cads."

"Dear me!" cried JAMES, "how very hard And are we, too, from beer debarred?" Said WILLIAM, "While remaining here We also are forbidden beer."

"Nor may we breathe the fragrant weed?" "That's interdicted too." "Indeed!" "Nor in the purifying wave Must we our steeds or chariots lave."

"For private drivers, at request, It is SIR RICHARD MAYNE'S behest That we shall move, I understand?" "Such, I believe, IS the command"

"Of all remains of food and drink Left by our animals I think, We are required to clear the ground?" "Yes: to remove them we are bound."

"These mandates should we disobey—" "They take our licenses away." "That were unkind. How harsh our lot!" "It is indeed." "Now is it not?"

"Thus strictly why are we pursued?" "It is alleged that we are rude; The people opposite complain, Our lips that coarse expressions stain."

"Law, how absurd!" "And then, they say We smoke and tipple all the day, Are oft in an excited state, Disturbance, noise, and dirt create."

"What shocking stories people tell! I never! Did you ever?—Well— Bless them!" the Cabman mildly sighed. "May they be blest!" his Friend replied.

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