Book 2 — PARLIAMENTARY OSCILLATORS[211:1]
Reading edition
PARLIAMENTARY OSCILLATORS[211:1]
Almost awake? Why, what is this, and whence, O ye right loyal men, all undefiléd? Sure, 'tis not possible that Common-Sense Has hitch'd her pullies to each heavy eye-lid? [212]Yet wherefore else that start, which discomposes 5 The drowsy waters lingering in your eye? And are you really able to descry That precipice three yards beyond your noses? Yet flatter you I cannot, that your wit Is much improved by this long loyal dozing; 10 And I admire, no more than Mr. Pitt, Your jumps and starts of patriotic prosing— Now cluttering to the Treasury Cluck, like chicken, Now with small beaks the ravenous Bill opposing;[212:1] With serpent-tongue now stinging, and now licking, 15 Now semi-sibilant, now smoothly glozing— Now having faith implicit that he can't err, Hoping his hopes, alarm'd with his alarms; And now believing him a sly inchanter, Yet still afraid to break his brittle charms, 20 Lest some mad Devil suddenly unhamp'ring, Slap-dash! the imp should fly off with the steeple, On revolutionary broom-stick scampering.— O ye soft-headed and soft-hearted people, If you can stay so long from slumber free, 25 My muse shall make an effort to salute 'e: For lo! a very dainty simile Flash'd sudden through my brain, and 'twill just suit 'e! You know that water-fowl that cries, Quack! Quack!? Full often have I seen a waggish crew 30 Fasten the Bird of Wisdom on its back, The ivy-haunting bird, that cries, Tu-whoo! Both plung'd together in the deep mill-stream, (Mill-stream, or farm-yard pond, or mountain-lake,) Shrill, as a Church and Constitution scream, 35 Tu-whoo! quoth Broad-face, and down dives the Drake! [213]The green-neck'd Drake once more pops up to view, Stares round, cries Quack! and makes an angry pother; Then shriller screams the Bird with eye-lids blue, The broad-faced Bird! and deeper dives the other. 40 Ye quacking Statesmen! 'tis even so with you— One Peasecod is not liker to another. Even so on Loyalty's Decoy-pond, each Pops up his head, as fir'd with British blood, Hears once again the Ministerial screech, 45 And once more seeks the bottom's blackest mud!
1798.
(Signed: Laberius.)
FOOTNOTES:
LINENOTES:
Title] To Sir John Sinclair, S. Thornton, Alderman Lushington, and the whole Troop of Parliamentary Oscillators C. I.
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2
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right] tight C. I.
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3
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It's hardly possible C. I.
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9
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But yet I cannot flatter you, your wit C. I.
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14
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the] his C. I.
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24
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O ye soft-hearted and soft-headed, &c. C. I.
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26, 28
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'e] ye C. I.
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29
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that cries] which cries C. I.
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30
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Full often] Ditch-full oft C. I.
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31
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Fasten] Fallen C. I.