Act 2 — ACT II
Reading edition
The White House
LOEB:
O Mr. President, depress your ear Till it enfold me, so that you may hear Strange news of one departed—one that you Have done to death: old Nelson Miles.
ROOSEVELT:
Go to! There is no news of him; he’s dead as nails.
LOEB:
About him, though, they tell alarming tales. ’Tis said that he has moved an inch or so.
ROOSEVELT:
Go put a heavier stone upon him—go! Confound the fellow! will he ne’er stay dead?
LOEB:
The worst is yet to come: they say his head Is half-protruded from the tomb!
ROOSEVELT:
Quick, quick! Go rap it roundly with the big, big stick.
LOEB:
Nay, that’s a weapon I’m too weak to wield. (aside) For anything I know, the corpse is “heeled.”
ROOSEVELT:
Where’s Colonel Hull? Command him to attack. He’s brave and generous enough to crack The skull of any dead man living. Take the stick. [Exit Loeb.] That rogue’s obedient, but he makes me sick. [An hour elapses. Enter Hull.]
HULL:
The work is done: again he is no more— He was half out. These red stains are his gore.
ROOSEVELT:
I trust you gave him a conclusive whack.
HULL:
Well, not exactly, but—I bit his back!
A STRAINED RELATION
The President. Root, Secretary of State. Taft, Secretary of War. Bonaparte, Secretary of the Navy. Metcalf, Secretary of Commerce and Labor. Dewey, an Admiral. Loeb, Private Secretary to the President.