ACT I

McKinley—John, have the goodness to say to the Turkish Minister that unless his Government pays up we shall send a fleet to the Dardanelles.

Hay—Yes, but would it not be better to say through the Dardanelles?

McK.—I don’t know about that. One does not like to promise more than one may be able to perform. Admiral Dewey tells me there is a doubt about getting through; the strait is fortified at every turn.

H.—Why, Admiral Dewey said, àpropos of the Nicaragua canal, that fortifications were worthless—that they only invited attack!

McK.—That was when he was standing by the Administration. He is now an aspirant to the Presidency, and dares to say what he thinks.

H. (aside)—Great Scott! I’d give ten years of life—nay, more: six weeks of office—for the same courage.

McK.—John, what are you muttering in your beard?

H.—A prayer for your health.

McK. (aside)—Ah, yes, I suffer from Hay fever.

[Observing him about to sneeze, Hay gives himself the happiness of taking snuff.]