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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 104, March 4, 1893

Volume 104 — A BALLAD OF WEALTHY WOOING.

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Ah, why, my Love, receive me With such tip-tilted scorn? Self-love can scarce retrieve me From obloquy forlorn; 'Twas not my fault, believe me, That wealthy I was born. Of Nature's gifts invidious I'd choose I know not which; One might as well be hideous As shunn'd because he's rich. O Love, if thou art bitter, Then death must pleasant be; I know not which is fitter, Not I—(or is't "not me"?) 'Tis not that thou abhorrest, Oh, maid of dainty mould! The foison of the florist, The goldsmith's craft of gold; Nor less than others storest Rare pelts by furriers sold; But knowing I adore thee, And deem all graces thine, My choicest offerings bore Just because they are mine. Then, smile not, dear deceiver, Keep no kind word for me, Enough that the receiver Is thou—(or is it "thee"?) When others come, how trimly Thou sett'st thy chatty sail! For me alone all dimly Seemeth the sun to fail. Young Frank he frowneth grimly, And thou turn'st haughty pale. 'Tis not the taint of "City," For here be scores who sport Their Mayfair manners pretty In Cop-the-Needle Court. Ah, chill me not so coolly, A Crœsus though I be— The one who loveth truly I swear is I—(or "me"?) But what availeth grammar As taught in straitest schools— The hammer of the Crammer Forging Bellona's tools— Or words that humbly stammer Regardless of the rules? And what availeth fretting, Deep sighs, and dwindling waist, And what the sad forgetting Of culinary taste, Since still thou fondly spurnest Five hundred thou. (or "thee."?) And on young Stoney turnest Love's eye—(or is it "me"?)

Sad Conclusion.—To be virtuous for virtue's sake, without prospect of reward, this is to be good for nothing!

Illustration from Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 104, March 4, 1893

BYE-ELECTION-OLOGY.

Gladys. "Listen, Sibyl. Papa has won a Great Moral Victory——What does a Moral Victory mean exactly?"

Sibyl (who has had more experience). "Oh, it means—well, that we are to be the Victims of Political Economy, and not go to London, after all!"

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