Volume 2 — The Roosevelt Bears see the WAX MUSEE

At eight o’clock the following day

The postman left, the bell boys say,

A hundred letters for each Roosevelt Bear,

From East and West and everywhere:

Letters from friends at their mountain glen

Telling of trouble with hunting men.

A letter from the teacher of the Kansas school

With sums worked out and giving a rule

For answering the questions which TEDDY-B

Had given the class in geography.

A letter from the farmer where they spent a day

Asking them sure to return that way.

It said that the bull which scared them blue

Would be tied by the nose when they came through.

A lawyer wrote demanding cash

For the old balloon that went to smash.

XXVI

“A hundred letters for each Roosevelt Bear, from East and West and everywhere.”

A Niagara lad sent local news

And an envelope filled with Niagara views.

A sophomore wrote to TEDDY-G

To ask how he liked his L-D degree.

Priscilla Alden sent a little note

Which said she was glad their little boat

Carried them through the storm so nice

And landed them safe on the berg of ice.

XXVII

“But TEDDY-G went straight ahead, while the machine by TEDDY-B was fed.”

Letters in dozens from girls and boys

Sending them books and candy and toys

To give away when they wanted to treat

Deserving lads like Muddy Pete.

The last letter opened by TEDDY-B

Was an invitation to the Wax Musee,

To visit the show that day at three.

“I’ll hire a machine,” said TEDDY-G,

“And answer my mail by electricity.

There’s one at work on the floor below,

Where you feed in letters and let it go.

I’ve seen the writing of this machine,

Like a printed page in blue and green;

And the girl who owns it said that she

Would give a typewriting lesson free.”

XXVIII

Copyright, 1907, by Edward Stern & Co., Inc. “‘Good afternoon,’ said TEDDY-B, ‘Is this Buster Brown and Tige I see?’”

XXIXSaid TEDDY-B, “I’m afraid you’re wrong,

But if you want to try I’ll go along.”

So down they went to try their luck

At printing letters like a book.

The girl was out; the machine was there;

TEDDY-G sat down on the little chair

And started in with all his might

To pound the keys and make them write;

While TEDDY-B at every call

Fed in a letter, envelope and all.

“This machine writes Greek,” said TEDDY-B,

As he picked up the letters the type to see;

“At least the language is new to me:

Chicago is spelled without a C,

And Boston has neither S nor T;

And Priscilla Alden would make you sick,

She’s like a problem in arithmetic;

And that Kansas teacher is doing some tricks

With question marks and the figure 6;

And that farmer man, no one will blame

If he shoots us both when he sees his name.

You wrote this lawyer about the old balloon

In dollar signs enough to buy the moon.”

But TEDDY-G went straight ahead

While the machine by TEDDY-B was fed

Until every letter that both Bears had

Was answered some way, good or bad.

’Twas three o’clock when they left to see

The mysteries of the Wax Musee.

XXX

They found Buster Brown in the entrance hall

And a cat climbing up the building wall

With Tige below looking up at puss

And Buster’s mother trying to stop the fuss.

“Good afternoon,” said TEDDY-B,

“Is this Buster Brown and Tige I see?”

(Tige gave Buster a knowing wink

Which put him wise and made him think.)

“The Roosevelt Bears! I’ve heard of you;

TEDDY-B and G! How do you do!

You’re the jolliest bears I ever saw.”

And Buster shook each by the paw

While Tige seemed glad that he was near

And put on a smile from ear to ear.

“You come with us,” said Buster Brown,

“We know this place, upstairs and down;

There are people here in smiles and tears

Who haven’t changed for a hundred years.

We’ll make those laugh who look so sad

And the merry ones we’ll make them mad.”

But Buster’s mother made him stay

Right where he was in wax and clay;

And Tige looked round for a place to hide

As the Roosevelt Bears passed on inside.

They saw the eagle which stole the child

And carried it up in the mountains wild.

They stopped for a moment to see the King

And to ask Madame Patti if she would sing.

XXXI

They saw Emperor William in a soldier suit,

But to all their questions he was deaf and mute;

So TEDDY-G, to make him look gay,

Turned the tails of his moustache the other way.

XXXIIAt the Roman Forum, TEDDY-B spoke out

And asked Mark Antony what ’twas all about:

This Roman crowd and Cæsar slain

And why they were doing the thing again.

And thus they went from place to place

Looking at people of every race

And crimes committed and prisoners hung

And no complaint from any tongue.

At the lions’ den TEDDY-G was wild;

A lion had killed a little child:

“I’ll go right in and smash his face.”

But a man who was there to guard the place

Spoke up and said, “That lion in there

Is not afraid of a Roosevelt Bear;

He’s made of wax, and that savage look

He wears all the time like a picture book.”

But TEDDY-G replied that he,

If he owned the place, would let folks see

That lions who did such things as they

Shouldn’t live at all in wax or clay.

XXXIIIThen on they went upstairs to guess

How Ajab played his game of chess.

Said TEDDY-G, “See if you can

Play checkers with this wooden man;

And while you play I’ll take off the lid

And find out where the man is hid.”

“TEDDY-G looked at him from head to heels, and his side door opened to see the wheels.”

Three games were played and TEDDY-B

Won every one so fast that he

Made the wooden eyes flow free with tears,

The first time in a hundred years.

XXXIVTEDDY-G looked at him from head to heels,

And his side door opened to see the wheels,

And the man’s mainspring and his wooden heart

He examined with care and took apart,

But he couldn’t find out high or low

How this man of wood made the checkers go.

TEDDY-B was polite and said “Good-bye;”

And the man got up and wiped his eye,

And held out his hand as well ’s he could,

(It had several pieces all made of wood)

And said, “Your playing was pretty good.”

As the Bears passed out of the Wax Musee

A paper was handed to TEDDY-G

Which read like this in printing bold:

“Resolved, That mothers should never scold,

For boys are wax and scoldings stick

And impressions can’t be rubbed out quick.

Resolved, That the world was made for play,

And that boys and bears should have their way,

When fun is needed the blues to down.”

Signed by Tige and Buster Brown.

XXXV

XXXVI

“The four took hands to skip and sing and to dance around in a jolly ring.”

The four took hands to skip and sing,

And dance around in a jolly ring.

Folks crowded near inside and out

To see what the fun was all about.

A thousand shoppers on the street

Paused as they passed the Bears to meet.

XXXVII

A speech was asked from TEDDY-B

As he stepped to the door the crowd to see:

“The U. S. boys and girls are ours;

They’re made of sunshine, love and flowers,

We’re bound with them to scatter blues

And we’re here to-day to spread the news.”

When TEDDY-B these things had said

He Buster’s Resolution read,

While Tige and Buster inside the door,

Became wax again as they were before.

XXXIX