Volume 2 — The Roosevelt Bears in PITTSBURG

They were on the train and at their ease

When the conductor called out “Tickets, please.”

“We have no tickets,” said TEDDY-G,

“But cash we have, as you will see,

And to Washington we want to go

To see the President and to let him know

That we are fully satisfied

That Uncle Sam is tall and wide

And big around, of mighty girth,

The greatest show on all the earth;

His boys and girls are full of fun

From Omaha to Washington.”

But the conductor said, “You ought to know

If to Washington you want to go

You’ve started wrong; this train you’re on

Is a Pittsburg special from Washington;

And to-morrow morning, if we’re not late,

You’ll be in Pittsburg at half-past eight.”

CXL

The Bears looked dazed and then looked mad,

And then they laughed and both looked glad.

Said TEDDY-B, “Pay up the fares;

We’ll pass to-morrow as millionaires

And found a library and put through a deal

Of high finance in oil or steel.”

But TEDDY-G didn’t think so far;

He thought of night and the sleeping car;

He recalled some cranky things he said

When they made him sleep in an upper bed

On a train out West, and the banjo song,

And the things they did a little wrong

Till both were put right off the train

On a Kansas farm in a shower of rain.

The conductor heard this wise remark:

“If on this train, when the night is dark,

You want this Bear to behave himself,

Don’t make him sleep on a Pullman shelf.”

CXLI

But the trip was made without mishap

And both the Bears enjoyed a nap

In lower berths till eight o’clock,

When the porter gave their berths a knock

And said, “Get up; it’s broad day light;

The Iron City is now in sight.”

But things outside looked black as night

And said TEDDY-B, “Do you mean to say

That this is Pittsburg and this is day?”

The man replied, “Get up; that’s smoke;

Take my advice and when you joke

About this town, don’t do it loud,

For Pittsburg people live in a cloud,

And their ideas about a bear

May be colored some by Pittsburg air.”

“What’s that you say?” called TEDDY-G,

“You seem to know your geography,

But let me say right here and now,

I’ll teach your Pittsburg people how

To dance and sing, to laugh and joke,

In mountain air or city smoke,

For they must know this very day

That Pittsburg too was made for play.”

CXLII

Copyright, 1907, by Edward Stern & Co., Inc. “Said TEDDY-B, ‘Pay up the fares, We’ll pass to-morrow as millionaires.’”

CXLIIIThey took a cab to a big hotel

Where things are done both smart and swell;

And breakfast over, TEDDY-B

On mischief bent, went out to see

What the telegraph and phone could do

To get a crowd their tricks to view.

CXLIVHe called up schools, every one in town,

And ordered all the children down

To the Old Block House at noon to see

The Teddy Bears teach history.

Then on the Mayor he played a lark

By ordering the police to Schenley Park,

To be locked up there till after dark;

“For,” said TEDDY-B, “the police you know

Might spoil our little Block House show.”

CXLVAt costume shops each Teddy Bear

Bought a lot of Indian things to wear.

They planned at the Old Block House to meet

At the corner of a near-by street,

And from that spot like Indians race

And take possession of the place.

They did the trick in Wild West style;

Their whoops and yells were heard a mile;

But the fight was short; no one to scare;

There wasn’t a soul there anywhere.

They made the place from roof to floor

Like seventeen hundred and sixty-four

And put things into shape to fool

The boys and girls from every school.

CXLVI

The children came, five thousand strong,

A happy, merry, lively throng;

The little ones by teachers led

To study history, they said,

But the history lesson learned that day

Was livelier stuff, the fellows say,

Than most boys learn at public school;

For it didn’t follow any rule,

But just shot off with laughter loud

In every corner of the crowd.

The Teddy Bears, as Indians brave,

Did everything but behave:

They chased each other round the Block

With bow and arrow and tomahawk;

CXLVII

“They chased each other round the Block with bow and arrow and tomahawk.”

CXLVIIIThey climbed to the roof and danced a jig

And called to children small and big

To catch the arrows every time

And bring them back and get a dime;

And then to finish up the sport

They asked the boys to take the fort:

The boys to be the soldiers bold

And they as Indians the place to hold.

In this the boys came out ahead;

The Bears pretended they were dead,

While the boys to do the thing up well

Sent two dead Bears to the hotel.

In half an hour they lived again

And were out on bicycles for a spin;

CXLIX

This time to see men making steel,

And in Highland Park to have a wheel,

And to see the Zoo and the Bridge of Sighs,

And Luna Park, where they won the prize.

In the afternoon they put up a lark

At the entrance gate of Highland Park.

A little lad who flew a kite

Had got the string caught good and tight

On the entrance post when TEDDY-G

Climbed up the post and said that he

Would untie the knot and start the kite

Up to the sky and out of sight.

A rope was lying twirled around

Where workmen left it on the ground,

And TEDDY-G as quick as wink

And before the men had time to think

CLCaught up the rope and made it tight

From post to post, from left to right,

And out he went like a circus clown

And whirled around, head up and down,

And walked the rope and made more play

Than folks had seen for many a day.

CLI

At six o’clock they said good-bye

To busy streets and smoky sky

And to boys and girls for the day of fun

And started back towards Washington.

Said TEDDY-B, as a town they passed

Where furnaces made fiery blast,

“I’d rather be a Teddy Bear

Than stand that heat and work in there;

But this old world was made, they say,

So that men would work and bears could play.”

CLIII