TO A FRIEND STUDYING GERMAN.

Vill'st dou learn de deutsche Sprache? Denn set it on your card, Dat all de nouns have shenders, Und de shenders all are hard; Dere ish also dings called pronoms, Vitch it's shoost ash vell to know; Boot ach! de verbs, or timevords— Dey'll vork you bitter voe. Vill'st dou learn de deutsche Sprache? Den you allatag moost go To sinfonies, sonatas, Or an oritorio. Vhen you dinks you knows 'pout musik More ash any oder man, Be sure de soul of Deutschland Into your soul ish ran. Vill'st dou learn de deutsche Sprache? Dou moost eat apout a peck A veek of stinging sauerkraut, Und sefen pounds of speck, Mit Gott knows vot in vinegar, Und deuce knows vot in rum; Dish ish de only cerdain way To make de accents coom. Vill'st dou learn de deutsche Sprache? Brepare dein soul to shtand Soosh sendences ash ne'er vas heardt In any oder land. Till dou canst make parenteses Intwisted—ohne zahl— Dann wirst du erst Deutschfertig seyn; For a languashe ideal. Vill'st dou learn de deutsche Sprache? Dou must mitout all fear Trink efery tay an gallon dry Of foamin' Sherman beer. Und de more you trinks, pe certain More Deutsche you'll surely pe; For Gambrinus is de Emperor Of de whole of Shermany. Vill'st dou learn de Deutsche Sprache? Be sholly, brav, an' treu, For dat veller is kein Deutscher Who ish not a sholly poy, Find out vot means Gemuthlichkeit, Und do it mitout fail, In Sang und Klang dein Lebenlang, A brick—gans Kreuzfidel. Vill'st dou learn de deutsche Sprache? If a shendleman dou art, Denn shtrike right indo Deutschland Und get a schveetes heart, From Schwabenland or Sachsen, Vhere now dis writer pees; Und de bretty girls all wachsen Shoost like apples on de drees. Boot if dou bee'st a laty, Denn, on de odder hand, Take a blonde moustachiod lofer In de vine green Sherman land, Und if you shoost kit married (Vood mit vood soon makes a vire), You'll learn to sprechen Deutsch, mein Kind, Ash fast as you tesire. Charles Godfrey Leland.