AN AFRICAN STRATAGEM.

Turtle. "It's simple enough to get rid of him. You hide, and watch me."

Turtle (loq.). "An unconscious air—

deceives man, and—

rids me of two dangers at once."

AT THE CIRCUS.

Kangaroo. "You had great luck last year getting your trunk through the custom-house without paying a duty."

Elephant. "Never mind; you have your chance this year."

Kangaroo. "What do you mean?"

Elephant. "Don't you know this is leap-year?"

Mother. "What are you going to do with that ear of corn?"

Bobby. "I'm going to eat it, so's I'll be sure to hear you call to-morrow morning."

WILLIE I-WONT-PLAY.

Wilful Willie I-Wont-Play Always wants to have his way; With him it is I or me, Whatsoe'er the sport may be— Prisoner's Goal or Pull-away,— Wilful Willie I-Wont-Play. If another faster run, Though the game be just begun, Then he'll pout and sulk and scowl, Gloomy as a day-caught owl, Spoil the whole glad holiday,— Wilful Willie I-Wont-Play. Where's the boy would be like him, Stout of arm and strong of limb, Hearty as a sailor, yet Ever in a selfish pet? Shame upon his head, I say, Wilful Willie I-Wont-Play! Clinton Scollard.

Teacher. "Now, children, what is the first meal you eat every day?"

Great Chorus of Children. "Oat-meal."

Mamma. "My dear, you've been out to luncheon every day this week; can't you stay at home just for once?"

Ethel. "But, mamma, I'm trying to keep Lent."

Tommy (impatiently). "I wish I were Billy Barlow."

Mamma. "But Billy hasn't any dear little brothers and sisters."

Tommy. "That is just where he's in luck; he doesn't have to be an example to them all the time."

At a temperance gathering during the recent campaign an orator exclaimed: "The glorious work will never be accomplished until the good ship Temperance shall sail from one end of the land to the other, and with a cry of 'Victory!' at each step she takes, shall plant her banner in every city, town, and village of the United States." Another speaker said that "All along the untrodden paths of the future we can see the hidden footprints of an unseen hand."

BETTER OUT THAN IN.

Teacher. "Jonathan, you may spell yacht."

Jonathan. "Y-a-h-t."

Teacher. "Isn't there a 'c' in it?"

Jonathan. "Defends on th' weather, ma'am."

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