CARDS

FOR 1897. 50 Sample Styles AND LIST OF 400 PREMIUM ARTICLES FREE. HAVERFIELD PUB CO., CADIZ, OHIO

THE GOSSIPS. "The trained dog in the next cage says he's going to move!" "What for?" "He says there's too much red ape about this menagerie."

FROM ONE BOY TO ANOTHER.

I'm sorry for you, King of Spain— You're just a boy like me— But even though you are a boy You are not half as free! You're fenced about by etiquette— By lots of little rules Like those we have to mind when we Are in our dancing-schools. Poor little King!—you have no fun Like that of other boys; You cannot jump and romp about, And try to make a noise. You cannot take a sled and slide Like lightning down a hill; To land head-first in snow would make Your little highness ill. You have a tutor come to you Instead, like we boys have, Of going to school and romping there, With none to domineer! Poor little King!—I weep for you, Deprived of all life's joy; And when I pray, I pray you'll dream That you're a Yankee boy. For I have found that that which comes By day, for wrong or right, Is easier made by fairy dreams Which come to me at night. So, little King, I beg you take From me, a Yankee free, The message of a boy who has A deal of sympathy. And while we do not care for kings, And look on thrones askance, We love you as a fellow-boy, And wish you had a chance! John Kendrick Bangs.

A VALID REASON.

Jimmieboy had just moved into town, and he didn't like hotel life.

"What's the matter, Jimmieboy? Why don't you like it here?" asked a friend.

"Oh, it's sort of flat," said Jimmieboy. "Home I can go all over the house, but here pop's got lots of visitors that seem to own the rooms. I wish he'd never hired this old hotel!"

THE AMERICAN BOY.

"And where did you come from?" asked the foreigner of Bobbie.

"Mamma bought me at Tiffany's," replied Bobbie.

AN UNPLEASANT PLACE.

"I'd like to be a policeman for five minutes!" said Jack, after he'd been punished.

"What for?" asked his sister.

"I'd arrest papa for hitting me!" sobbed Jack.

"Where'd you put him?" asked the little girl.

"Nowhere," answered Jack. "That's the worst place I know of to be in."

NOT ALWAYS BEST.

"Well, Tommie, how far have you got in arithmetic?"

"Fractions," said Tommie.

"And do you like them?"

"Well—I prefer bananas for dessert," said Tommie.

FROM THE ARITHMETIC CLASS.

"Suppose I take seventeen boys," began the teacher, "and one pie. And I divide that pie equally among them."

"Yes," said the class.

"What, Willie Robinson, will one of those pieces amount to?"

"One swaller," said Willie.

A HINT.

"Well, Jacky," said Uncle George, "what are you going to be when you grow up?"

"An uncle if I can afford it," said Jacky. "Uncles ought always to have pockets full of nickels to give to their nephews—don't you think?"

WILLIE'S QUESTIONS.

"Pop," said Willie.

"Well?" replied his father.

"I want to ask you a question."

"What is it?"

"Do you suppose birds sing for nothing, because they know nobody'd ever pay their bill?"

THE REASON FOR IT.

"How fast you are growing, Tommie."

"Yes. Too fast, I think. They water me too much. Why, I have to take a bath every morning."

NONCOMMITTAL.

"Are you fond of your aunts, Polly?" asked one of those dear relatives.

"Don't collect 'em," said Polly. "I go in for beetles and butterflies."

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