Publisher's Preface (continued 3)

Who was he?

Who do men say that I am?

Whom do they represent me to be¹?

In many instances in which who is used as an interrogative, it does not become whom; as "Who do you speak to?" "Who do you expect?" "Who is she married to?" "Who is this reserved for?" "Who was it made by?" Such sentences are found in the writings of our best authors, and it would be presumptuous to consider them as ungrammatical. If the word whom should be preferred, then it would be best to say, "For whom is this reserved?" &c

Instead of "After which hour," say "After that hour."

Self should never be added to his, their, mine, or thine.

Each is used to denote every individual of a number.

Every denotes all the individuals of a number.

Either and or denote an alternative: "I will take either road, at your pleasure;" "I will take this or that."

Neither means not either; and nor means not the other.

Either is sometimes used for each—"Two thieves were crucified, on either side one."

"Let each esteem others as good as themselves," should be, "Let each esteem others as good as himself."

"There are bodies each of which are so small," should be, "each of which is so small."

Do not use double superlatives, such as most straightest, most highest, most finest.

The term worser has gone out of use; but lesser is still retained.

The use of such words as chiefest, extremest, &c, has become obsolete, because they do not give any superior force to the meanings of the primary words, chief, extreme, &c

Such expressions as more impossible, more indispensable, more universal, more uncontrollable, more unlimited, &c, are objectionable, as they really enfeeble the meaning which it is the object of the speaker or writer to strengthen. For instance, impossible gains no strength by rendering it more impossible. This class of error is common with persons who say, "A great large house," "A great big animal," "A little small foot," "A tiny little hand."

Here, there, and where, originally denoting place, may now, by common consent, he used to denote other meanings; such as, "There I agree with you," "Where we differ," "We find pain where we expected pleasure," "Here you mistake me."

Hence, whence, and thence, denoting departure, &c, may be used without the word from. The idea of from is included in the word whence—therefore it is unnecessary to say "From whence."

Hither, thither, and whither, denoting to a place, have generally been superseded by here, there, and where. But there is no good reason why they should not be employed. If, however, they are used, it is unnecessary to add the word to, because that is implied—"Whither are you going?" "Where are you going?" Each of these sentences is complete. To say, "Where are you going to?" is redundant.

Two negatives destroy each other, and produce an affirmative. "Nor did he not observe them," conveys the idea that he did observe them.

But negative assertions are allowable. "His manners are not unpolite," which implies that his manners are, in some degree, marked by politeness.

Instead of "I had rather walk," say "I would rather walk."

Instead of "I had better go," say "It were better that I should go."

Instead of "I doubt not but I shall be able to go," say "I doubt not that I shall be able to go."

Instead of "Let you and I," say "Let you and me."

Instead of "I am not so tall as him," say "I am not so tall as he."

When asked "Who is there?" do not answer "Me," but "I."

Instead of "For you and I," say "For you and me."

Instead of "Says I," say "I said."

Instead of "You are taller than me," say "You are taller than I."

Instead of "I ain't," or "I arn't," say "I am not."

Instead of "Whether I be present or no," say "Whether I be present or not."

For "Not that I know on," say "Not that I know."

Instead of "Was I to do so," say "Were I to do so."

Instead of "I would do the same if I was him," say "I would do the same if I were he."

Instead of "I had as lief go myself," say "I would as soon go myself," or "I would rather."

It is better to say "Bred and born," than "Born and bred."

It is better to say "Six weeks ago," than "Six weeks back."

It is better to say "Since which time," than "Since when."

It is better to say "I repeated it," than "I said so over again."

It is better to say "A physician," or "A surgeon," than "A medical man."

Instead of "He was too young to have suffered much," say "He was too young to suffer much."

Instead of "Less friends," say "Fewer friends." Less refers to quantity.

Instead of "A quantity of people," say "A number of people."

Instead of "He and they we know," say "Him and them."

Instead of "As far as I can see," say "So far as I can see."

Instead of "If I am not mistaken," say "If I mistake not."

Instead of "You are mistaken," say "You mistake."

Instead of "What beautiful tea!" say "What good tea!"

Instead of "What a nice prospect!" say "What a beautiful prospect!"

Instead of "A new pair of gloves," say "A pair of new gloves."

Instead of saying "He belongs to the house," say "The house belongs to him."

Instead of saying "Not no such thing," say " Not any such thing."

Instead of "I hope you'll think nothing on it," say "I hope you'll think nothing of it."

Instead of "Restore it back to me," say "Restore it to me."

Instead of "I suspect the veracity of his story," say "I doubt the truth of his story."

Instead of "I seldom or ever see him," say " I seldom see him."

Instead of "Rather warmish" or "A little warmish," say "Rather warm."

Instead of "I expected to have found him," say "I expected to find him."

Instead of "Shay," say "Chaise."

Instead of "He is a very rising person," say "He is rising rapidly."

Instead of "Who learns you music?" say "Who teaches you music?"

Instead of "I never sing whenever I can help it," say "I never sing when I can help it."

Instead of "Before I do that I must first ask leave," say "Before I do that I must ask leave."

Instead of "To get over the difficulty," say "To overcome the difficulty."

The phrase "get over" is in many cases misapplied, as, to "get over a person," to "get over a week," to "get over an opposition."

Instead of saying "The observation of the rule," say "The observance of the rule."

Instead of "A man of eighty years of age," say "A man eighty years old."

Instead of "Here lays his honoured head," say "Here lies his honoured head."

Instead of "He died from negligence," say " He died through neglect," or "in consequence of neglect."

Instead of "Apples are plenty," say "Apples are plentiful."

Instead of "The latter end of the year," say "The end, or the close of the year."

Instead of "The then government," say "The government of that age, or century, or year, or time."

Instead of "For ought I know," say "For aught I know."

Instead of "A couple of chairs," say "Two chairs."

Instead of "Two couples," say "Four persons."

But you may say "A married couple," or, "A married pair," or, "A couple of fowls," &c, in any case where one of each sex is to be understood.

Instead of "They are united together in the bonds of matrimony," say "They are united in matrimony," or, "They are married."

Instead of "We travel slow," say "We travel slowly."

Instead of "He plunged down into the river," say "He plunged into the river."

Instead of "He jumped from off of the scaffolding," say "He jumped off from the scaffolding."

Instead of "He came the last of all," say "He came the last."

Instead of "universal," with reference to things that have any limit, say "general;" "generally approved," instead of "universally approved;" "generally beloved," instead of "universally beloved."

Instead of "They ruined one another," say "They ruined each other."

Instead of "If in case I succeed," say "If I succeed."

Instead of "A large enough room," say "A room large enough."

Instead of "This villa to let," say "This villa to be let."

Instead of "I am slight in comparison to you," say "I am slight in comparison with you."

Instead of "I went for to see him," say "I went to see him."

Instead of "The cake is all eat up," say "The cake is all eaten."

Instead of "It is bad at the best," say "It is very bad."

Instead of "Handsome is as handsome does," say "Handsome is who handsome does."

Instead of "As I take it," say "As I see," or, "As I under stand it."

Instead of "The book fell on the floor," say "The book fell to the floor."

Instead of "His opinions are approved of by all," say "His opinions are approved by all."

Instead of "I will add one more argument," say "I will add one argument more," or "another argument."

Instead of "Captain Reilly was killed by a bullet," say "Captain Reilly was killed with a bullet."

Instead of "A sad curse is war," say "War is a sad curse."

Instead of "He stands six foot high," say "He measures six feet," or "His height is six feet."

Instead of "I go every now and then," say "I go often, or frequently."

Instead of "Who finds him in clothes," say "Who provides him with clothes."

Say "The first two," and "the last two," instead of "the two first," "the two last;" leave out all expletives, such as "of all," "first of all," "last of all," "best of all," &c, &c

Instead of "His health was drank with enthusiasm," say "His health was drunk enthusiastically."

Instead of "Except I am prevented," say "Unless I am prevented."

Instead of "In its primary sense," say "In its primitive sense."

Instead of "It grieves me to see you," say "I am grieved to see you."

Instead of "Give me them papers," say "Give me those papers."

Instead of "Those papers I hold in my hand," say "These papers I hold in my hand."

Instead of "I could scarcely imagine but what," say "I could scarcely imagine but that."

Instead of "He was a man notorious for his benevolence," say "He was noted for his benevolence."

Instead of "She was a woman celebrated for her crimes," say "She was notorious on account of her crimes."

Instead of "What may your name be?" say "What is your name?"

Instead of "Bills are requested not to be stuck here," say "Billstickers are requested not to stick bills here."

Instead of "By smoking it often becomes habitual," say "By smoking often it becomes habitual."

Instead of "I lifted it up," say "I lifted it."

Instead of "It is equally of the same value," say "It is of the same value," or "equal value."

Instead of "I knew it previous to your telling me," say "I knew it previously to your telling me."

Instead of "You was out when I called," say "You were out when I called."

Instead of "I thought I should have won this game," say "I thought I should win this game."

Instead of "This much is certain," say "Thus much is certain," or, "So much is certain."

Instead of "He went away as it may be yesterday week," say "He went away yesterday week."

Instead of "He came the Saturday as it may be before the Monday," specify the Monday on which he came.

Instead of "Put your watch in your pocket," say "Put your watch into your pocket."

Instead of "He has got riches," say "He has riches."

Instead of "Will you set down?" say "Will you sit down?"

Instead of "The hen is setting," say "The hen is sitting."

Instead of "It is raining very hard," say "It is raining very fast."

Instead of "No thankee," say "No thank you."

Instead of "I cannot do it without farther means," say "I cannot do it without further means."

Instead of "No sooner but," or "No other but," say "than."

Instead of "Nobody else but her," say "Nobody but her."

Instead of "He fell down from the balloon," say "He fell from the balloon."

Instead of "He rose up from the ground," say "He rose from the ground."

Instead of "These kind of oranges are not good," say "This kind of oranges is not good."

Instead of "Somehow or another," say "Somehow or other."

Instead of "Undeniable references required," say "Unexceptionable references required."

Instead of "I cannot rise sufficient funds," say "I cannot raise sufficient funds."

Instead of "I cannot raise so early in the morning," say "I cannot rise so early in the morning."

Instead of "Well, I don't know," say "I don't know."

Instead of "Will I give you some more tea?" say "Shall I give you some more tea?"

Instead of "Oh dear, what will I do?" say "Oh dear, what shall I do?"

Instead of "I think indifferent of it," say "I think indifferently of it."

Instead of "I will send it conformable to your orders," say "I will send it conformably to your orders."

Instead of "Give me a few broth," say "Give me some broth."

Instead of "Her said it was hers," say "She said it was hers."

Instead of "To be given away gratis," say "To be given away."

Instead of "Will you enter in?" say "Will you enter?"

Instead of "This three days or more," say "These three days or more."

Instead of "He is a bad grammarian," say " He is not a grammarian."

Instead of "We accuse him for," say "We accuse him of."

Instead of "We acquit him from," say "We acquit him of."

Instead of "I am averse from that," say "I am averse to that."

Instead of "I confide on you," say "I confide in you."

Instead of "I differ with you," say "I differ from you."

Instead of "As soon as ever," say "As soon as."

Instead of "The very best" or "The very worst," say "The best or the worst."

Instead of "A winter's morning," say "A winter morning," or "A wintry morning."

Instead of "Fine morning, this morning," say "This is a fine morning."

Instead of "How do you do?" say "How are you?"

Instead of "Not so well as I could wish," say "Not quite well."

Avoid such phrases as "No great shakes," "Nothing to boast of," "Down in my boots," "Suffering from the blues." All such sentences indicate vulgarity.

Instead of "No one cannot prevail upon him," say "No one can prevail upon him."

Instead of "No one hasn't called," say "No one has called."

Avoid such phrases as "If I was you," or even, "If I were you." Better say, "I advise you how to act."

Instead of "You have a right to pay me," say "It is right that you should pay me."

Instead of "I am going on a tour," say "I am about to take a tour," or "going."

Instead of "I am going over the bridge," say "I am going across the bridge."

Instead of "He is coming here," say "He is coming hither."

Instead of "He lives opposite the square," say "He lives opposite to the square."

Instead of "He belongs to the Reform Club," say "He is a member of the Reform Club."

Avoid such phrases as "I am up to you," "I'll be down upon you," "Cut," or "Mizzle."

Instead of "I should just think I could," say "I think I can."

Instead of "There has been a good deal," say "There has been much."

Instead of "Following up a principle," say "Guided by a principle."

Instead of "Your obedient, humble servant," say "Your obedient," or, "Your humble servant."

Instead of saying "The effort you are making for meeting the bill," say "The effort you are making to meet the bill."

Instead of saying "It shall be submitted to investigation and inquiry," say "It shall be submitted to investigation," or "to inquiry."

Dispense with the phrase "Conceal from themselves the fact;" it suggests a gross anomaly.

Never say "Pure and unadulterated," because the phrase embodies a repetition.

Instead of saying "Adequate for," say "Adequate to."

Instead of saying "A surplus over and above," say "A surplus."

Instead of saying "A lasting and permanent peace," say "A permanent peace."

Instead of saying "I left you behind at London," say "I left you behind me at London."

Instead of saying "Has been followed by immediate dismissal," say "Was followed by immediate dismissal."

Instead of saying "Charlotte was met with Thomas," say "Charlotte was met by Thomas." But if Charlotte and Thomas were walking together, "Charlotte and Thomas were met by," &c

Instead of "It is strange that no author should never have written," say "It is strange that no author should ever have written."

Instead of "I won't never write," say "I will never write."

To say "Do not give him no more of your money," is equivalent to saying "Give him some of your money." Say "Do not give him any of your money."

Instead of saying "They are not what nature designed them," say "They are not what nature designed them to be."

Instead of "By this means," say "By these means."

Instead of saying "A beautiful seat and gardens," say "A beautiful seat and its gardens."

Instead of "All that was wanting," say "All that was wanted."

Instead of saying "I had not the pleasure of hearing his sentiments when I wrote that letter," say "I had not the pleasure of having heard," &c

Instead of "The quality of the apples were good," say "The quality of the apples was good."

Instead of "The want of learning, courage, and energy are more visible," say "Is more visible."

Instead of "We are conversant about it," say "We are conversant with it."

Instead of "We called at William," say "We called on William."

Instead of "We die for want," say "We die of want."

Instead of "He died by fever," say "He died of fever."

Instead of "I enjoy bad health," say "My health is not good."

Instead of "Either of the three," say "Any one of the three."

Instead of "Better nor that," say "Better than that."

Instead of "We often think on you," say "We often think of you."

Instead of "Though he came, I did not see him," say "Though he came, yet I did not see him."

Instead of "Mine is so good as yours," say "Mine is as good as yours."

Instead of "He was remarkable handsome," say "He was remarkably handsome."

Instead of "Smoke ascends up the chimney,'I say "Smoke ascends the chimney."

Instead of "You will some day be convinced," say "You will one day be convinced."

Instead of saying "Because I don't choose to," say "Because I would father not."

Instead of "Because why?" say "Why?"

Instead of "That there boy," say "That boy."

Instead of "Direct your letter to me," say "Address your letter to me."

Instead of "The horse is not much worth," say "The horse is not worth much."

Instead of "The subject-matter of debate," say "The subject of debate."

Instead of saying "When he was come back," say "When he had come back."

Instead of saying "His health has been shook," say "His health has been shaken."

Instead of "It was spoke in my presence," say "It was spoken in my presence."

Instead of "Very right," or "Very wrong," say "Right," or "Wrong."

Instead of "The mortgager paid him the money," say "The mortgagee paid him the money." The mortgagee lends; the mortgager borrows.

Instead of "This town is not as large as we thought," say "This town is not so large as we thought."

Instead of "I took you to be another person," say "I mistook you for another person."

Instead of "On either side of the river," say "On each side of the river."

Instead of "There's fifty," say "There are fifty."

Instead of "The best of the two," say "The better of the two."

Instead of "My clothes have become too small for me," say "I have grown too stout for my clothes."

Instead of "Is Lord Lytton in?" say "Is Lord Lytton within?"

Instead of "Two spoonsful of physic," say "Two spoonfuls of physic."

Instead of "He must not do it." say "He need not do it."

Instead of "She said, says she," say "She said."

Avoid such phrases as "I said, says I," "Thinks I to myself, thinks I," &c

Instead of "I don't think so," say "I think not."

Instead of "He was in eminent danger," say "He was in imminent danger."

Instead of "The weather is hot," say "The weather is very warm."

Instead of "I sweat," say "I perspire."

Instead of "I only want two shillings," say "I want only two shillings."

Instead of "Whatsomever," always take care to say "Whatever," or "Whatsoever."

Avoid such exclamations as "God bless me!" "God deliver me!" "By God!" "By Gor'!" "My Lor'!" "Upon my soul," &c, which are vulgar on the one hand, and savour of impiety on the other, for:

"Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain."

Footnote 1:

Persons who wish to become well acquainted with the principles of

English Grammar

by an easy process, are recommended to procure "The Useful Grammar," price 3d., published by Houlston and Sons.

return to footnote mark

Some Female Spiders Produce 2,000 Eggs.

182. Pronunciation

Accent is a particular stress or force of the voice upon certain syllables or words. This mark ' in printing denotes the syllable upon which the stress or force of the voice should he placed.

There are 9,000 Cells in a Square Foot of Honeycomb.

183. A Word may have more than One Accent.

Take as an instance aspiration. In uttering this word we give a marked emphasis of the voice upon the first and third syllables, and therefore those syllables are said to be accented. The first of these accents is less distinguishable than the second, upon which we dwell longer, therefore the second accent in point of order is called the primary, or chief accent of the word.

A Cow Consumes 100 lbs. of Green Food Daily.

184. When the full Accent falls on a Vowel

that vowel should have a long sound, as in

vo'cal;

but when it, falls on or after a consonant, the preceding vowel has a short sound, as in

hab'it

.

2,300 Silkworms Produce 1lb of Silk.

185. To obtain a Good Knowledge of Pronunciation

it is advisable for the reader to listen to the examples given by good speakers, and by educated persons. We learn the pronunciation of words, to a great extent, by

imitation

, just as birds acquire the notes of other birds which may be near them.

A Queen Bee Produces 100,000 Eggs in a Season.

186. Double Meaning

But it will be very important to bear in mind that there are many words having a double meaning or application, and that the difference of meaning is indicated by the difference of the accent. Among these words,

nouns

are distinguished from

verbs

by this means:

nouns

are mostly accented on the first syllable, and

verbs

on the last.

A Cow Yields 168 lbs. of Butter per Annum.

187. Noun signifies Name

Nouns

are the names of persons and things, as well as of things not material and palpable, but of which we have a conception and knowledge, such as

courage

,

firmness

,

goodness

,

strength

; and

verbs

express

actions, movements,

&c If the word used signifies that anything has been done, or is being done, or is, or is to be done, then that word is a

verb

.

It would Take 27,600 Spiders to Produce 1 lb. of Web

188. Examples of the above.

Thus when we say that anything is "an

in

'sult," that word is a

noun

, and is accented on the first syllable; but when we say he did it "to in

sult

sult' another person," the word in

sult

' implies

acting

, and becomes a verb, and should be accented on the last syllable. The effect is, that, in speaking, you should employ a different pronunciation in the use of the same word, when uttering such sentences as these:—"What an

in

'sult!" "Do you mean to in

sult

' me?" In the first sentence the stress of voice must be laid upon the first syllable,

in'

, and in the latter case upon the second syllable,

sult'

.

189. Meaning varied by Accentuation.

A list of nearly all the words that are liable to this variation is given in the following page. It will be noticed that those in the first column, having the accent on the first syllable, are mostly nouns; and that those in the second column, which have the accent on the second and final syllable, are mostly verbs:

noun verb noun verb noun verb

abject abject contrast contrast inlay inlay

absent absent converse converse inlay inlay

abstract abstract convert convert object object

accent accent convict convict outleap outleap

afsix affix convoy convoy perfect perfect

aspect aspect decrease decrease perfume perfume

attribute attribute descant descant permit permit

augment augment desert desert prefix prefix

august august detail detail premise premise

bombard bombard digest digest presage presage

colleague colleague discord discord present present

collect collect discount discount produce produce

comment comment efflux efflux project project

compact compact escort escort protest protest

complot complot essay essay rebel rebel

comport comport exile exile record record

compound compound export export refuse refuse

compresss compress extract extract retail retail

concert concert ferment ferment subject subject

concrete concrete forecast forecast supine supine

conduct conduct foretaste foretaste survey survey

confine confine frequent frequent torment torment

conflict conflict impart impart traject traject

conserve conserve import import transfer transfer

consort consort impress impress transport transport

contest contest imprint imprint undress undress

context context incense incense upcast upcast

contract contract increase increase upstart upstart

190. Exceptions

Ce

ment

is an Exception to the above rule, and should always be accented on the last syllable. So also the word Con

sols

.

191. Hints to "Cockney Speakers."

The most objectionable error of the Cockney, that of substituting the

v

for the

w

, and

vice versâ

, is, we believe, pretty generally abandoned. Such sentences as "Are you going to Vest Vickkam?" "This is wery good weal," &c, were too intolerable to be retained. Moreover, there has been a very able schoolmaster at work during the past forty years. This schoolmaster is no other than the loquacious Mr.

Punch

, from whose works we quote a few admirable exercises:

Low Cockney.—"Seen that party lately?" "What! the party with the wooden leg, as come with—" "No, no—not that party. The party, you know, as—" "Oh! ah! I know the party you mean, now." "Well, a party told me as he can't agree with that other party, and he says that if another party can't be found to make it all square, he shall look out for a party as will."—(And so on for half an hour.)

Police.—"Lor, Soosan, how's a feller to eat meat such weather as this! Now, a bit o' pickled salmon and cowcumber, or a lobster salid, might do."

Cockney Yachtsman.—(Example of affectation.) Scene: the Regatta Ball.—"I say, Tom, what's that little craft with the black velvet flying at the fore, close under the lee scuppers of the man-of-war?" "Why, from her fore-and-aft rig, and the cut of her mainsail, I should say she's down from the port of London; but I'll signal the commodore to come and introduce us!"

Omnibus Driver.—Old acquaintance. "'Ave a drop, Bill?" Driver. "Why, yer see, Jim, this 'ere young hoss has only been in 'arness once afore, and he's such a beggar to bolt, ten to one if I leave 'im he'll be a-runnin' hoff, and a smashin' into suthun. Howsoever—here—(handing reins to a timid passenger)—lay hold, sir, I'll Chance It!"

Costermonger (to extremely genteel person).—"I say, guv'ner, give us a hist with this 'ere bilin' o' greens!' (A large hamper of market stuff.)

Genteel Cockney (by the seaside).—Blanche. "How grand, how solemn, dear Frederick, this is! I really think the ocean is more beautiful under this aspect than under any other!" Frederick.—"H'm—ah! Per-waps. By the way, Blanche, there's a fella shwimping. S'pose we ask him if he can get us some pwawns for breakfast to-mowaw mawning?"

Stuck-up Cockney.—(Small Swell enters a tailor's shop.) "A—Brown, A—want some more coats!" Snip. "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. How many would you please to want?" Small Swell. "A—let me see; A—ll have eight. A—no, I'll have nine; and look here! A—shall want some trousers." Snip. "Yes, sir, thank you, sir. How many would you like?" Small Swell.—"A— don't know exactly. S'pose we say twenty-four pairs; and look here! Show me some patterns that won't be worn by any snobs!"

Cockney Flunkey,—(Country Footman meekly inquires of London Footman)—"Pray, sir, what do you think of our town? A nice place, ain't it" London Footman (condescendingly). "Vell, Joseph, I likes your town well enough. It's clean: your streets are hairy; and you have lots of rewins. But I don't like your champagne, it's all gewsberry!"

Cockney Cabby (with politeness). — "Beg pardon, sir; please don't smoke in the keb. sir; ladies do complain o' the 'bacca uncommon. Better let me smoke it for yer outside, sir!"

Military Cockney.—Lieutenant Blazer (of the Plungers).—"Gwood wacious! Here's a howible go! The ifan [?word illegible] v's going to gwow a moustache! Cornet Huffey (whose face is whiskerless). "Yaw don't mean that! Wall! there's only one alternative for us. We must shave!"

Juvenile Low Cockney.—"Jack; Whereabouts is Amstid-am?" Jack. "Well, I can't say exackerley, but I know it's somewhere near "Ampstid-'eath!"

Cockney Domestic.—Servant girl—" Well, mam—Heverythink considered, I'm afraid you won't suit me. I've always bin brought up genteel: and I couldn't go nowheres where there ain't no footman kep'."

Another.—Lady. "Wish to leave! why, I thought, Thompson, you were very comfortable with me!" Thompson (who is extremely refined). "Ho yes, mum! I don't find no fault with you, mum—nor yet with master—but the truth his, mum—the hother servants is so orrid vulgar and hignorant, and speaks so hungrammaticai, that I reely cannot live in the same 'ouse with 'em—and I should like to go this day month, if so be has it won't illconvenience you!"

Cockney Waiter.—"'Am, sir? Yessir? Don't take anything with your 'am, do you, sir?" Gentleman. "Yes, I do; I take the letter H!"

Cockney Hairdresser.—"They say, sir, the cholera is in the Hair, sir!" Gent (very uneasy). "Indeed! Ahem! Then I hope you're very particular about the brushes you use." Hairdresser. "Oh, I see you don't nunderstand me, sir; I don't mean the 'air of the 'ed, but the hair hof the hatmosphere?"

Cockney Sweep (seated upon a donkey).—"Fitch us out another penn'orth o' strawberry hice, with a dollop o' lemon water in it."

Feminine Cookney (by the sea-side.)—"Oh, Harriet, dear, put on your hat and let us thee the stheamboat come in. The thea is tho rough!—and the people will be tho abthurdly thick!"

Alum First Discovered A.D. 1300.

192. Correction

Londoners who desire to correct the defects of their utterance cannot do better than to exercise themselves frequently upon those words respecting which they have been in error.

193. Hints for the Correction of the Irish Brogue

According to the directions given by Mr. B. H. Smart, an Irishman wishing to throw off the brogue of his mother country should avoid hurling out his words with a superfluous quantity of breath. It is not

broadher

and

widher

that he should say, but the

d

, and every other consonant, should be neatly delivered by the tongue, with as little riot, clattering, or breathing as possible. Next let him drop the roughness or rolling of the

r

in all places but the beginning of syllables; he must not say

stor-rum

and

far-rum

, but let the word be heard in one smooth syllable. He should exercise himself until he can convert

plaze

into

please

,

planty

into

plenty

,

Jasus

into

Jesus

, and so on. He should modulate his sentences, so as to avoid directing his accent all in one manner—from the acute to the grave. Keeping his ear on the watch for good examples, and exercising himself frequently upon them, he may become master of a greatly improved utterance.

Tea First Used In England A. D. 1698.

194. Hints for Correcting the Scotch Brogue.

The same authority remarks that as an Irishman uses the closing accent of the voice too much, so a Scotchman has the contrary habit, and is continually drawling his tones from the grave to the acute, with an effect which, to southern ears, is suspensive in character. The smooth guttural

r

is as little heard in Scotland as in Ireland, the trilled

r

taking its place. The substitution of the former instead of the latter must be a matter of practice. The peculiar sound of the

u

, which in the north so of ten borders on the French

u

, must be compared with the several sounds of the letter as they are heard in the south; and the long quality which a Scotchman is apt to give to the vowels that ought to be essentially short, must he clipped. In fact, aural observation and lingual exercise are the only sure means to the end; so that a Scotchman going to a well for a bucket of water, and finding a countryman bathing therein, would not exclaim, "Hey, Colin, dinna ye ken the water's for drink, and nae for bathin'?"

195. Of Provincial Brogues

it is scarcely necessary to say much, as the foregoing advice applies to them. One militiaman exclaimed to another, "Jim, you hain't in step" "Bain't I?" exclaimed the other; "well, change yourn!" Whoever desires knowledge must strive for it. It must not be dispensed with after the fashion of Tummus and Jim, who held the following dialogue upon a vital question:—

Tummus

. "I zay, Jim, be you a purtectionist?"

Jim

. "E'as I be."

Tummus

. "Wall, I zay, Jim, what

be

purtection?"

Jim

. " Loa'r, Tummus, doan't 'ee knaw? "

Tummus

. "Naw, I doan't."

Jim

. "Wall, I doan't knaw as can tell 'ee, Tummus,

vur I doan't exakerly knaw mysel'!

"

196. Rules of Pronunciation.

C before a, o, and u, and in some other situations, is a close articulation, like k. Before e, i, and y, c is precisely equivalent to s in same, this; as in cedar, civil, cypress, capacity.

E final indicates that the preceding vowel is long; as in hate, mete, sire, robe, lyre, abate, recede, invite, remote, intrude.

E final indicates that c preceding has the sound of s; as in lace, lance; and that g preceding has the sound of j, as in charge, page, challenge.

E final, in proper English words, never forms a syllable, and in the most-used words, in the terminating unaccented syllable it is silent. Thus, motive, genuine, examine, granite, are pronounced motiv, genuin, examin, granit.

E final, in a few words of foreign origin, forms a syllable; as syncope, simile.

E final is silent after l in the following terminations,—ble, cle, dle, fle, gle, kle, ple, tle, zle; as in able, manacle, cradle, ruffle, mangle, wrinkle, supple, rattle, puzzle, which are pronounced a'bl, mana'cl, cra'dl, ruf'fl man'gl, wrin'kl, sup'pl, puz'zl.

E is usually silent in the termination en; as in token, broken; pronounced tokn, brokn.

ous, in the termination of adjectives and their derivatives, is pronounced us; as in gracious, pious, pompously.

ce, ci, ti before a vowel, have the sound of sh; as in cetaceous, gracious, motion, partial, ingratiate; pronounced cetashus, grashus, moshun, parshal, ingrashiate.

si, after an accented vowel, is pronounced like zh; as in Ephesian, confusion; pronounced Ephezhan, confuzhon

When ci or ti precede similar combinations, as in pronunciation, negotiation, they should be pronounced ze instead of she, to prevent a repetition of the latter syllable; as pronunceashon instead of pronunsheashon.

gh, both in the middle and at the end of words ia silent; as in caught, bought, fright, nigh, sigh; pronounced caut, baut, frite, ni, si. In the following exceptions, however, gh are pronounced as f:—cough, chough, clough, enough, laugh, rough, slough, tough, trough.

When wh begins a word, the aspirate h precedes w in pronunciation; as in what, whiff, whale; pronounced hwat, hwiff, hwale, w having precisely the sound of oo, French ou. In the following words w is silent:—who, whom, whose, whoop, whole.

h after r has no sound or use; as in rheum, rhyme; pronounced reum, ryme.

h should be sounded in the middle of words; as in forehead, abhor, behold, exhaust, inhabit, unhorse.

H should always be sounded except in the following words:—heir, herb, honest, honour, hospital, hostler, hour, humour, and humble, and all their derivatives,—such as humorously, derived from humour.

k and g are silent before n; as know, gnaw; pronounced no, naw.

w before r is silent; as in wring, wreath; pronounced ring, reath.

b after m is silent; as in dumb, numb; pronounced dum, num.

L before k is silent; as in balk, walk, talk; pronounced bauk, wauk, tauk.

ph has the sound of f; as in philosophy; pronounced filosofy.

ng has two sounds, one as in anger, the other as in fin-ger.

nafter m, and closing a syllable, is silent; as in hymn, condemn.

pbefore s and t is mute; as in psalm, pseudo, ptarmigan; pronounced sarm, sudo, tarmigan.

r has two sounds, one strong and vibrating, as at the beginning of words and syllables, such as robber, reckon, error; the other as at the terminations of words, or when succeeded by a consonant, as farmer, morn.

Before the letter r, there is a slight sound of e between the vowel and the consonant. Thus, bare, parent, apparent, mere, mire, more, pure, pyre, are pronounced nearly baer, paerent, appaerent, me-er,mier, moer,puer, pyer. This pronunciation proceeds from the peculiar articulation of r, and it occasions a slight change of the sound of a, which can only be learned by the ear.

There are other rules of pronunciation affecting the combinations of vowels, &c; but as they are more difficult to describe, and as they do not relate to errors which are commonly prevalent, we shall content ourselves with giving examples of them in the following list of words. When, a syllable in any word in this list is printed in bold, the accent or stress of voice should be laid on that syllable.

Auctions Commenced in Britain in A.D. 1779.

197. Proper Pronunciations of Words often Wrongly Pronounced.

Again usually pronounced a-gen, not as spelled.

Alien á-li-en not ale-yen.

Antipodes an-tip-o-dees.

Apostle as a-pos'l, without the t.

Arch- artch in compounds of our own language, as in archbishop, archduke; but ark in words derived from the Greek, as archaic, ar-ka-ik; archaeology, ar-ke-ol-o-gy; archangel, ark-ain-gel; archetype, ar-ke-type; archiepiscopal, ar-ke-e-pis-co-pal; archipelago, ar-ke-pel-a-go; ar-chives, ar-kivz, &c

Asia a-sha.

Asparagus as spelled, not asparagrass.

Aunt ant, not aunt.

Awkward awk-wurd, not awk-urd.

Bade bad

Because be-cawz, not ba-cos

Been bin

Beloved as a verb, be-luvd; as an adjective, be-luv-ed. Blessed, cursed, &c, are subject to the same rule.

Beneath with the th in breath, not with the th in breathe.

Bio'graphy as spelled, not beography.

Buoy boy, not bwoy.

Canal' as spelled, not ca-nel.

Caprice capreece

Catch as spelled, not ketch.

Chaos ka-oss.

Charlatan shar-latan.

Chasm kazm

Chasten chasn

Chivalry shiv-alry.

Chemistry kem'-is-tre, not kim-is-tre.

Choir kwire

Clerk klark

Combat kum-bat.

Conduit kun-dit.

Corps kor: the plural corps is pronounced korz.

Covetous cuv-e-tus, not cov-e-tus.

Courteous curt-yus.

Courtesy 1. (politeness), cur-te-sey. 2. (a lowering of the body), curt-sey.

Cresses as spelled, not cree-ses.

Cu'riosity cu-re-os-e-ty, not curosity.

Cushion coosh-un, not coosh-in.

Daunt dawnt, not dant or darnt, as some erroneously pronounce it.

Design and Desist have the sound of s, not of z.

Desire should have the sound of z.

Despatch de-spatch, not dis-patch.

Dew due, not doo.

Diamond as spelled, not dimond.

Diploma de-plo-ma, not dip-lo-ma.

Diplomacy de-plo-ma-cy, not dip-lo-ma-cy.

Direct de-reckt, not di-rect.

Divers (several), di-verz; but diverse (different), di-verse.

Dome as spelled, not doom.

Drought drowt, not drawt.

Duke as spelled, not dook.

Dynasty dyn-as-te, not dy-nas-ty.

Edict e-dickt, not ed-ickt.

E'en and e'er een and air.

Egotism eg-o-tizm, not e-go-tism.

Either e-ther or i-ther.

Engine en-jin, not in-jin.

Ensign en-sign; ensigncy, en-sin-se.

Epistle without the t.

Epitome e-pit-o-me

Epoch e-pock, not ep-ock.

Equinox e-qui-nox, not eck-wi-nox.

Europe U-rope, not U-rup. Euro-pean not Eu-ro-pean.

Every ev-er-y, not ev-ry.

Executor egz-ec-utor, not with the sound of x.

Extraordinary as spelled, not ex-tror—di-ner-i, or ex-traordinary, nor extrornarey

February as spelled, not Febuary.

Finance fe-nance, not finance.

Foundling as spelled, not fond-ling.

Garden gar-dn, not gar-den, nor gard-ing.

Gauntlet gawnt-let, not gant-let.

Geography as spelled, not jography, or gehography.

Geometry as spelled, not jom-etry.

Haunt hawnt, not hant.

Height hite, not highth.

Heinous hay-nuss, not hee-nus.

Highland hi-land, not hee-land.

Horizon ho-ri-zn, not hor-i-zon.

Housewife pronounced in the ordinary way when it means the mistress of a house who is a good manager, but huz-wif, when it means a small case for needles.

Hymeneal hy-men-e-al, not hy-menal.

Instead in-sted, not instid.

Isolate i-so-late; not iz-o-late, nor is-olate.

Jalap jal-ap, not jolup.

January as spelled, not Jenuary nor Janewary.

Leave as spelled, not leaf.

Legend lej-end, not le-gend.

Lieutenant lef-ten-ant, not leu-ten-ant.

Many men-ney, not man-ny.

Marchioness mar-shun-ess, not as spelled.

Massacre mas-sa-ker, not mas-sa-cre.

Mattress as spelled, not mat-trass.

Matron ma-trun, not mat-ron.

Medicine med-e-cin, not med-cin.

Minute 1. (sixty seconds), min-it. 2. (small), mi-nute.

Miscellany mis-cel-lany, not mis-cellany.

Mischievous mis-chiv-us, not mis-cheev-us.

Ne'er for never, nare.

Neighbourhood nay-bur-hood, not nay-burwood.

Nephew nev-u, not nefu.

New nu, not noo.

Notable (worthy of notice), no-tu-bl.

Obilge as spelled, not obleege.

Oblique ob-leek, not o-blike.

Odorous o-der-us, not od-ur-us.

Of ov, except when compounded with the here, and where, which should be pronounced here-of, there-of, and where-of.

Off as spelt, not awf.

Organization or-gan-i-za-shun, not or-ga-ne-za-shun.

Ostrich os-tr'ch, not os-tridge.

Pageant paj-ent, not pa-jant.

Parent pare-ent, not par-ent.

Partisan par-te-zan, not par-te-zan, nor par—ti-zan.

Patent pa-tent, not pat-ent.

Physiognomy as fiz-i-ognomy, not phy-sionnomy.

Pincers pin-cerz, not pinch-erz.

Plaintiff as spelled, not plan-tiff.

Pour pore, not so as to rhyme with our.

Precedent (an example), pres-e-dent; pre-ce-dent (going before in point of time, previous, former), is the pronunciation of the adjective.

Prologue pro-log, not prol-og.

Quadrille ka-dril, not quod-ril.

Quay key, not as spelled.

Radish as spelled, not red-ish.

Raillery rail'-er-y, or ral-er y, not as spelled.

Rather rar-ther, not ray-ther.

Resort re-sort.

Resound re-zound.

Respite res-pit, not as spelled.

Rout (a party; and to rout), should be pronounced rowt. Route (a road), root.

Saunter saun-ter, not sarn-ter or san-ter.

Sausage saw-sage not sos-sidge, nor sassage.

Schedule shed-ule, not shed-dle.

Seamstress is pronounced seem-stress, but semp-stress, as the word is now commonly spelt, is pronounced sem-stress.

Sewer soo-er or su-er, not shore, nor shure.

Shire as spelled, when uttered as a single word, but shortened into shir in composition.

Shone shon, not shun, nor as spelled.

Soldier sole-jer.

Solecism sol-e-cizm, not sole-cizm.

Soot as spelled, not sut.

Sovereign sov-er-in, not suv-er-in.

Specious spe-shus, not spesh-us.

Stomacher stum-a-cher.

Stone (weight), as spelled, not stun.

Synod sin-od, not sy-nod.

Tenure ten-ure, not te-nure.

Tenet ten-et, not te-net.

Than as spelled, not thun.

Tremor trem-ur, not tre-mor.

Twelfth should have the th sounded.

Umbrella as spelled, not um-ber-el-la.

Vase vaiz or varz, not vawze.

Was woz, not wuz.

Weary weer-i, not wary.

Were wer, not ware.

Wont wunt, not as spelled.

Wrath rawth, not rath: as an adjective it is spelled wroth, and pronounced with the vowel sound shorter, as wrath-ful, &c

Yacht yot, not yat.

Yeast as spelled, not yest.

Zenith zen-ith, not ze-nith.

Zodiac zo-de-ak.

Zoology should have both o's sounded,as zo-ol-o-gy, not zoo-lo-gy.

Note

.—The tendency of all good elocutionists is to pronounce as nearly in accordance with the spelling as possible.

Pronounce:

ace not iss, as furnace, not furniss.

age not idge, as cabbage, courage, postage, village.

ain, ane not in, as certain, certane, not certin.

ate not it, as moderate, not moderit.

ect not ec, as aspect, not aspec; subject, not subjec.

ed not id, or ud, as wicked, not wickid, or wickud.

el not l, model, not modl; novel,not novl.

en not n, as sudden, not suddn.—Burden, burthen, garden, lengthen, seven, strengthen, often, and a few others,have the e silent.

ence not unce, as influence, not influ-unce.

es not is, as pleases, not pleasis.

ile should be pronounced il, as fertil, not fertile, in all words except chamomile (cam), exile, gentile, infantile, reconcile and senile, which should be pronounce ile.

in not n, as Latin, not Latn.

nd not n, as husband, not husban, thousand, not thousan.

ness not niss, as carefulness, not carefulniss.

ng not n, as singing, not singin; speaking, not speakin.

ngth not nth, as strength, not strenth.

son the o should be silent; as in treason; tre-zn, not tre-son.

tal not tle, as capital, not capitle; metal, not mettle; mortal, not mortle; periodical; not periodicle.

xt not x, as next, not nex.

Publication of Banns of Marriage Commenced A.D.1210.

198. Punctuation

Punctuation teaches the method of placing

Points

, in written or printed matter, in such a manner as to indicate the pauses which would be made by the author if he were communicating his thoughts orally instead of by written signs.

Silk First Brought From India A.D. 274.

199. Writing and Printing

are substitutes for oral communication; and correct punctuation is essential to convey the meaning intended, and to give due force to such passages as the author may wish to impress upon the mind of the person to whom they are being communicated.

Wines were First Made in Britain A.D. 276.

200. The Points are as follows:

comma ,

semi-colon ;

colon :

Period, or Full Point .

Apostrophe '

Hyphen -

Note of Interrogation ?

Note of Exclamation !

Parenthesis ( )

Asterisk, or Star *

As these are all the points required in simple epistolary composition, we will confine our explanations to the rules which should govern the use of them.

201. The Other Points

however, are:

the paragraph ¶

the section §

the dagger †

the double dagger ‡

the parallel ||

the bracket [ ]

and some others.

These, however, are quite unnecessary, except for elaborate works, in which they are chiefly used for notes or marginal references. The rule — is sometimes used as a substitute for the bracket or parenthesis.

202. Pauses

The comma , denotes the shortest pause

the semi-colon ; a little longer pause than the comma

the colon : a little longer pause than the semicolon

The period . or full point, the longest pause.

203. The Relative Duration

of these pauses is described as:

Comma while you count One

Semicolon while you count Two

Colon while you count Three

Period while you count Four

This, however, is not an infallible rule, because the duration of the pauses should be regulated by the degree of rapidity with which the matter is being read. In slow reading the duration of the pauses should be increased.

204. The Other Points

are rather indications of expression, and of meaning and connection, than of pauses, and therefore we will notice them separately.

205. Misplacing

of even so slight a point, or pause, as the comma, will often alter the meaning of a sentence. The contract made for lighting the town of Liverpool, during the year 1819, was thrown void by the misplacing of a comma in the advertisements, thus:

"The lamps at present are about 4,050, and have in general two spouts each, composed of not less than twenty threads of cotton."

The contractor would have proceeded to furnish each lamp with the said twenty threads, but this being but half the usual quantity, the commissioners discovered that the difference arose from the comma following instead of preceding the word

each.

The parties agreed to annul the contract, and a new one was ordered.

206. Without Punctuation

The Following Sentence shows how difficult it is to read without the aid of the points used as pauses:

Death waits not for storm nor sunshine within a dwelling in one of the upper streets respectable in appearance and furnished with such conveniences as distinguish the habitations of those who rank among the higher clashes of society a man of middle age lay on his last bed momently awaiting the final summons all that the most skillful medical attendance all that love warm as the glow that even an angel's bosom could do had been done by day and night for many long weeks had ministering spirits such as a devoted wife and loving children are done all within their power to ward off the blow but there he lay his raven hair smoothed off from his noble brow his dark eyes lighted with unnatural brightness and contrasting strongly with the pallid hue which marked him as an expectant of the dread messenger.

Coals First Brought to London A.D. 1357.

207. With Punctuation

The same sentence, properly pointed, and with capital letters placed; after full-points, according to the adopted rule, may be easily read and understood:

Death waits not for storm nor sunshine. Within a dwelling in one of the upper streets, respectable in appearance, and furnished with such conveniences as distinguish the habitations of those who rank among the higher classes of society, a man of middle age lay on his last bed, momently awaiting the final summons. All that the most skilful medical attendance—all that love, warm as the glow that fires an angel's bosom, could do, had been done; by day and night, for many long weeks, had ministering spirits, such as a devoted wife; and loving children are, done all within their power to ward off the blow. But there he lay, his raven hair smoothed off from his noble brow, his dark eyes lighted with unnatural brightness, and contrasting strongly with the pallid hue which marked him as an expectant of the dread messenger.

208. The Apostrophe '

is used to indicate the combining of two words in one,—as John's book, instead of John, his book; or to show the omission of parts of words, as Glo'ster, for Gloucester—tho' for though. These abbreviations should be avoided as much as possible. Cobbett says the apostrophe "ought to be called the mark of

laziness

and vulgarity." The first use, however, of which we gave an example, is a necessary and proper one.

209. The Hyphen -

or conjoiner, is used to unite words which, though they are separate and distinct, have so close a connection as almost to become one word, as water-rat, wind-mill, &c. It is also used in writing and printing, at the end of a line, to show where a word is divided and continued in the next line. Look down the ends of the lines in this column [in the original printed text], and you will notice the hyphen in several places.

210. The Note of Interrogation ?

indicates that the sentence to which it is put asks a question; as, "What is the meaning of that assertion? What am I to do?"

211. The Note of Exclamation !

or of admiration, indicates surprise, pleasure, or sorrow; as "Oh! Ah! Goodness! Beautiful! I am astonished! Woe is me!"

Sometimes, when an expression of strong surprise or pleasure is intended, two notes of this character are employed, thus!!

212. The Parenthesis ( )

is used to prevent confusion by the introduction to a sentence of a passage not necessary to the sense thereof. "I am going to meet Mr. Smith (though I am not an admirer of him) on Wednesday next." It is better, however, as a rule, not to employ parenthetical sentences.

213. The Asterisk *

or star, may be employed to refer from the text to a note of explanation at the foot of a column, or at the end of a letter. [***] Three stars are sometimes used to call particular attention to a paragraph.

Paper Made of Cotton Rags A.D. 1000.

214. Hints upon Spelling

The following rules will be found of great assistance in writing, because they relate to a class of words about the spelling of which doubt and hesitation are frequently felt:

All words of one syllable ending in l, with a single vowel before it, have double l at the close; as, mill, sell.

All words of one syllable ending in l, with a double vowel before it, have one l only at the close: as, mail, sail.

Words of one syllable ending in l, when compounded, retain but one l each; as, fulfil, skilful.

Words of more than one syllable ending in l have one l only at the close; as, delightful, faithful; except befall, downfall, recall, unwell, &c.

All derivatives from words ending in l have one l only; as, equality, from equal; fulness, from full; except they end in er or ly; as, mill, miller; full, fully.

All participles in ing from verbs ending in e lose the e final; as have, having; amuse, amusing; unless they come from verbs ending in double e, and then they retain, both; as, see, seeing; agree, agreeing.

All adverbs in ly and nouns in ment retain the e final of the primitives; as, brave, bravely; refine, refinement; except acknowledgment, judgment, &c.

All derivatives from words ending in er retain the e before the r; as, refer, reference; except hindrance, from hinder; remembrance from remember; disastrous from disaster; monstrous from monster; wondrous from wonder; cumbrous from cumber, &c.

Compound words, if both end not in i, retain their primitive parts entire; as, millstone, changeable, graceless; except always, also, deplorable, although, almost, admirable, &c.

All words of one syllable ending in a consonant, with a single vowel before it, double that consonant in derivatives; as, sin, sinner; ship, shipping; big, bigger; glad, gladder, &c.

Words of one syllable ending in a consonant, with a double vowel before it, do not double the consonant in derivatives: as, sleep, sleepy; troop, troopers.

All words of more than one syllable ending in a single consonant, preceded by a single vowel, and accented on the last syllable, double that consonant in derivatives; as, commit, committee; compel, compelled; appal, appalling; distil, distiller.

Nouns of one syllable ending in y preceded by a consonant, change y into ies in the plural; and verbs ending in y, preceded by a consonant, change y into ies in the third person singular of the present tense, and into ied in the past tense and past participle, as, fly, flies; I apply, he applies; we reply, we replied, or have replied. If the y be preceded by a vowel, this rule is not applicable; as key, keys; I play, he plays; we have enjoyed ourselves.

Compound words whose primitives end in y change y into i; as, beauty, Beautiful; lovely, loveliness.

215. H or no H? That is the Question.

Few things point so directly to the want of

cultivation

as the misuse of the letter H by persons in conversation. We hesitate to assert that this common defect in speaking indicates the absence of

education

—for, to our surprise, we have heard even educated persons frequently commit this common, and vulgar error. Now, for the purpose of assisting those who desire to improve their mode of speaking, we intend to tell a little story about our next door neighbour, Mrs. Alexander Hitching,—or, as she frequently styled herself, with an air of conscious dignity, Mrs.

Halexander 'Itching

. Her husband was a post-captain of some distinction, seldom at home, and therefore Mrs. A. H. (or, as she rendered it, Mrs. H. I.) felt it incumbent upon herself to represent her own dignity, and the dignity of her husband also. Well, this Mrs. Hitching was a next-door neighbour of ours—a most agreeable lady in many respects, middle aged, good looking, uncommonly fond of talking, of active, almost of fussy habits, very good tempered and good natured, but with a most unpleasant habit of misusing the letter H to such a degree that our sensitive nerves have often been shocked when in her society. But we must beg the reader, if Mrs. H. should be an acquaintance of his, not to breathe a word of our having written this account of her—or there would be no limit to her "

h

indignation." And, as her family is very numerous, it will be necessary to keep the matter as quiet as can be, for it will scarcely be possible to mention the subject anywhere, without "'orrifying" some of her relations, and instigating them to make Mrs. H. become our "

h

enemy," instead of remaining, as we wish her to do, our intimate friend.

One morning, Mrs. H. called upon me, and asked me to take a walk, saying that it was her

h

object to look out for an 'ouse, as her lease had nearly terminated; and as she had often heard her dear 'Itching say that he would like to settle in the neighbourhood of 'Ampstead 'Eath, she should like me to assist her by my judgment in the choice of a residence. "I shall he most happy to accompany you," I said.

"I knew you would," said she; "and I am sure a

h

our or two in your society will give me pleasure. It's so long since we've 'ad a gossip. Besides which, I want a change of

h

air."

I glanced at her peruke, and for a moment laboured under the idea that she intended to call at her hairdresser's; but I soon recollected.

"I suppose we had better take the

h

omnibus," she remarked, "and we can get out at the foot of the 'ill."

I assented, and in a few minutes we were in the street, in the line of the omnibus, and one of those vehicles soon appearing—

"Will you 'ail it?" inquired she.

So I hailed it at once, and we got in. Now Mrs. H. was so fond of talking that the presence of strangers never restrained her—a fact which I have often had occasion to regret. She was no sooner within the omnibus than she began remarking upon

h

inconveaience of such vehicles, because of their smallness, and the

h

insolence of many of the conductors. She thought that the proprietors ought only to 'ire men upon whose civility they could depend. Then she launched out into larger topics—said she thought that the

H

emperor of

H

austria—(here I endeavoured to interrupt her by asking whether she had any idea of the part of Hampstead she would like; but she would complete her remarks by saying) —must be as 'appy as the days are long, now that the

H

empress had presented him with a

hare

to the throne! (Some of the passengers smiled, and turning round, looked out of the windows.)

I much wished for our arrival at the spot where we should alight, for she commenced a story about an 'andsome young nephew of hers, who was a distinguished

h

officer of the

h

army. This was suggested to her, no doubt, by the presence in the omnibus of a fine-looking young fellow with a moustache. She said that at present her nephew was stationed in

h

ireland; but he expected soon to be

h

ordered to South

H

africa.

The gentleman with the moustache seemed much amused, and smilingly asked her whether her nephew was at all

h

ambitious? I saw that he (the gentleman with the moustache) was jesting, and I would have given anything to have been released from the unpleasant predicament I was in. But what was more annoyance when Mrs. H. proceeded to say to this youth, whose face was radiant with humour, that it was the 'ight of her nephew's

h

ambition to serve his country in the

h

our of need; and then she proceeded to ask her fellow-traveller his opinion, of the

h

upshot of the war—remarking that she 'oped it would soon be

h

over!

At this moment I felt so nervous that I pulled out my handkerchief, and endeavoured to create a diversion by making a loud nasal noise, and remarking that I thought the wind very cold, when an accident happened which took us all by surprise: one of the large wheels of the minibus dropped off, and all the passeigers were jostled down into a corner but, fortunately without serious injury. Mrs. H., however, happening to be under three or four persons, raised a loud cry for "'elp! 'elp!" She was speedily got out, when she assured us that she was not 'urt; but she was in such a state of

h

agitation that she wished to be taken to a chemist's shop, to get some

h

aromatic vinegar, or some

Hoe

de Cologne! The chemist was exceedingly polite to her, for which she said she could never express her

h

obligations—an assertion which seemed to me to be literally true. It was some time before she resumed her accustomed freedom of conversation; but as we ascended the hill she explained to me that she should like to take the house as tenant from '

ear

to

'ear!

—but she thought landlords would

h

object to such an agreement, as when they got a good tenant they liked to 'old 'im as long as they could. She expressed an opinion that 'Amstead must be very 'ealthy, because it was so 'igh

h

up.

We soon reached the summit of the hill, and turned through a lane which led towards the Heath, and in which villas and cottages were smiling on each side. "Now, there's a

h

elegant little place!" she exclaimed, "just suited to my

h

ideas—about

h

eight rooms and a

h

oriel

h

over the

h

entrance." But it was not to let—so we passed on.

Presently, she saw something likely to suit her, and as there was a bill in the window, "To be let—Enquire Within," she gave a loud rat-a-tat-tat at the door.

The servant opened it.

"I see this 'ouse is to let."

"Yes, ma'am, it is; will you walk in?"

"'Ow many rooms are there?"

"Eleven, ma'am; but if you will step in, mistress will speak to you."

A very graceful lady made her appearance at the parlour door, and invited us to step in. I felt exceedingly nervous, for I at once perceived that the lady of the house spoke with that accuracy and taste which is one of the best indications of refinement.

"The house

is

to let—and a very pleasant residence we have found it."

"'Ave you

h

occupied it long?"

"Our family has resided here for more than nine years."

"Then, I suppose, your lease 'as run

h

out!"

"No! we have it for five years longer: but my brother, who is a clergyman, has been appointed to a living in Yorkshire, and for his sake, and for the pleasure of his society, we desire to remove."

"Well—there's nothing like keeping families together for the sake of 'appiness. Now there's my poor dear 'Itching" [There she paused, as if somewhat affected, and some young ladies who were in the room drew their heads together, and appeared to consult about their needlework; but I saw, by dimples upon their cheeks, which they could not conceal, that they were smiling], "'e's 'itherto been

h

at 'ome so seldom, that I've 'ardly

h

ever known what 'appiness

h

is."

I somewhat abruptly broke in upon the conversation, by suggesting that she had better look through the house, and inquire the conditions of tenancy. We consequently went through the various rooms, and in every one of them she had "an

h

objection to this," or "a 'atred for that," or would give "an 'int which might be useful" to the lady when she removed. The young ladies were heard tittering very much whenever Mrs. H. broke out, in a loud voice, with her imperfect elocution, and I felt so much annoyed, that I determined to cure her of her defective speaking.

In

the evening, after returning home, we were sitting by the fire, feeling comfortable and chatty, when I proposed to Mrs. Hitching the following enigma from the pen of the late Henry Mayhew:

The Vide Vorld you may search, and my fellow not find; I dwells in a Wacuum, deficient in Vind; In the Wisage I'm seen—in the Woice I am heard, And yet I'm inwisible, gives went to no Vurd. I'm not much of a Vag, for I'm vanting in Vit; But distinguished in Werse for the Wollums I've writ. I'm the head of all Willains, yet far from the Vurst— I'm the foremost in Wice, though in Wirtue the first. I'm not used to Veapons, and ne'er goes to Vor; Though in Walour inwincible—in Wictory sure; The first of all Wiands and Wictuals is mine— Rich in Wen'son and Weal, but deficient in Vine. To Wanity given, I in Welwets abound; But in Voman, in Vife, and in Vidow ain't found: Yet conspicuous in Wirgins, and I'll tell you, between us, To persons of taste I'm a bit of a Wenus; Yet none take me for Veal—or for Voe in its stead, For I ranks not among the sweet Voo'd, Vun, and Ved!

Before the recital of the enigma was half completed, Mrs. Hitching laughed heartily—she saw, of course, the meaning of it—that it was a play upon the Cockney error of using the V instead of the W, and the latter instead of the V. Several times, as I proceeded, she exclaimed "

H

excellent!

h

excellent!" and when I had finished, she remarked that is was very "

h

ingenious," and enough to "

h

open the

h

eyes" of the Cockneys to their stupid and vulgar manner of speaking.

A

more difficult and delicate task lay before me. I told her that as she was so much pleased with the first enigma, I would submit another by the same author. I felt very nervous, but determined to proceed:

I dwells in the Herth, and I breathes in the Hair; If you searches the Hocean, you'll find that I'm there. The first of all Hangels, in Holympus am Hi, Yet I'm banished from 'Eaven, expelled from on 'Igh. But though on this Horb I am destined to grovel, I'm ne'er seen in an 'Ouse, in an 'Ut, nor an 'Ovel; Not an 'Oss nor an 'Unter e'er bears me, alas! But often I'm found on the top of a Hass. I resides in a Hattic, and loves not to roam, And yet I'm invariably absent from 'Ome. Though 'ushed in the 'Urricane, of the Hatmosphere part, I enters no 'Ed, I creeps into no 'Art. Only look, and you'll see in the Heye I appear, Only 'ark, and you'll 'ear me just breathe in the Hear; Though in sex not an 'E, I am (strange paradox!) Not a bit of an 'Eifer, but partly a Hox. Of Heternity Hi'm the beginning! And, mark, Though I goes not with Noah, I am first in the Hark. I'm never in 'Ealth—have with Fysic no power; I dies in a Month, but comes back In a Hour!

In re-citing the above I strongly emphasized the misplaced

h

's. After a brief pause, Mrs. Hitchings exclaimed, "Very good; very clever." I then determined to complete my task by repeating the following enigma upon the same letter written by Miss Catherine Fanshawe and often erroneously attributed to Byron:

'Twas whispered in heaven, 'twas muttered in hell, And echo caught faintly the sound as it fell; On the confines of earth 'twas permitted to rest, And the depths of the ocean its presence confessed. 'Twill be found in the sphere when 'tis riven asunder, Be seen in the lightning, and heard in the thunder. 'Twas allotted to man with his earliest breath, Attends at his birth, and awaits him in death; It presides o'er his happiness, honour, and health, Is the prop of his house, and the end of his wealth. In the heaps of the miser 'tis hoarded with care, But is sure to be lost on his prodigal heir. It begins every hope, every wish it must bound, With the husbandman toils, with the monarch is crowned. Without it the soldier and seaman may roam, But woe to the wretch who expels it from home. In the whispers of conscience its voice will be found, Nor e'en in the whirlwind of passion be drowned. 'Twill not soften the heart, and though deaf to the ear, 'Twill make it acutely and instantly hear. But in shade let it rest, like a delicate flower— Oh, breathe on it softly—it dies in an hour.

She was much pleased, but seemed thoughtful, and once or twice in conversation checked herself, and corrected herself in the pronunciation of words that were difficult to her.

A

few days afterwards., I called upon her, and upon being introduced to the parlour to wait for her appearance, I saw lying upon her table the following:

Memorandum on the Use of the Letter H

.

Pronounce Herb 'Erb

Pronounce Heir 'Eir

Pronounce Honesty 'Onesty

Pronounce Honour Onour

Pronounce Hospital Ospital

Pronounce Hostler 'Ostler

Pronounce Hour 'Our

Pronounce Humour 'Umour

Pronounce Humble 'Umble

Pronounce Humility 'Umility

In all other cases the H is to be sounded when it begins a word.

Mem

.—Be careful to sound the

H

slightly in such words as w

h

ere, w

h

en, w

h

at, w

h

y—don't say were, wen, wat, wy.

I am happy to say that it is now a pleasure to hear Mrs. Hitching's conversation. I only hope that others may improve as she has done.

Glass Manufacturing in England A.D. 1457.

216. Conversation

There are many talkers, but few who know how to converse agreeably. Speak distinctly, neither too rapidly nor too slowly. Accommodate the pitch of your voice to the hearing of the person with whom you are conversing. Never speak with your mouth full. Tell your jokes, and laugh afterwards. Dispense with superfluous words—such as, "Well, I should think," etc.

Tabacco Brought to England from Virginia A.D. 1588.

217. The Woman who wishes her conversation to be agreeable

will avoid conceit or affectation, and laughter which is not natural and spontaneous, Her language will be easy and unstudied, marked by a graceful carelessness, which, at the same time, never oversteps the limits of propriety. Her lips will readily yield to a pleasant smile; she will not love to hear herself talk; her tones will bear the impress of sincerity, and her eyes kindle with animation as she speaks. The art of pleasing is, in truth, the very soul of good breeding; for the precise object of the latter is to render us agreeable to all with whom we associate—to make us, at the same time, esteemed and loved.

Telescopes Invented in Germany A.D. 1590.

218. Rudeness

We need scarcely advert to the rudeness of interrupting any one who is speaking, or to the impropriety of pushing, to its full extent, a discussion which has become unpleasant.

219. Pedantry

Some Men have a Mania for Greek and Latin quotations: this is peculiarly to be avoided. It is like pulling up the stones from a tomb wherewith to kill the living. Nothing is more wearisome than pedantry.

220. Proportion

If you feel your Intellectual Superiority to any one with whom you are conversing, do not seek to bear him down: it would be an inglorious triumph, and a breach of good manners. Beware, too, of speaking lightly of subjects which bear a sacred character.

221. Writing and Talking

It is a Common Idea that the art of writing and the art of conversation are one; this is a great mistake. A man of genius may be a very dull talker.

222. Interesting Conversation

The two grand modes of making your conversation interesting, are to enliven it by recitals calculated to affect and impress your hearers, and to intersperse it with anecdotes and smart things. Count Antoine Rivarol, who lived from 1757 to 1801, was a master in the latter mode.

223. Composition

If you would write to any purpose, you must be perfectly free from without, in the first place, and yet more free from within. Give yourself the natural rein; think on no pattern, no patron, no paper, no press, no public; think on nothing, but follow your own impulses. Give yourself as you are, what you are, and how you see it. Everyman sees with his own eyes, or does not see at all. This is incontrovertibly true. Bring out what you have. If you have nothing, be an honest beggar rather than a respectable thief. Great care and attention should be devoted to epistolary correspondence, as nothing exhibits want of taste and judgment so much as a slovenly letter. Since the establishment of the penny postage it is recognised as a rule that all letters should be prepaid; indeed, many persons make a point of never taking in an unpaid letter. The following hints may be worthy of attention:

224. Stamps

Always put a Stamp on your envelope, at the top, in the right-hand corner.

225. Direction

Let the Direction be written very plain; this will save the postman trouble, and facilitate business by preventing mistakes.

226. Postal District

If the Address be in London add the letters of the postal district in which it happens to be, for this also saves trouble in the General Post Office. Thus in writing to the publishers of "Enquire Within," whose house of business is in the East Central (E.C.) postal district, address your letter to Messrs. Houlston and Sons, Paternoster Square, London, E.C.

227. Heading

At the head of your Letter, in the right-hand corner, put your address in full, with the day of the month underneath; do not omit this, though you may be writing to your most intimate friend for the third or even the fourth time in the course of a day.

228. Subject

What you have to say in your Letter, say as plainly as possible, as if you were speaking; this is the best rule. Do not revert three or four times to one circumstance, but finish as you go on.

229. Signature

Let your signature be written as plainly as possible (many mistakes will be avoided, especially in writing to strangers), and without any flourishes, as these do not add in any way to the harmony of your letter. We have seen signatures that have been almost impossible to decipher, being a mere mass of strokes, without any form to indicate letters. This is done chiefly by the ignorant, and would lead one to suppose that they were ashamed of signing what they had written.

230. Crossing the Page

Do not cross your letters: surely paper is cheap enough now to admit of using an extra half-sheet, in case of necessity.

231. Return Envelope

If you write to a stranger for information, or on your own business, be sure to send a stamped envelope with your address plainly written; this will not fail to procure you an answer.

232. Good Materials

If you are not a good writer it is advisable to use the best ink, paper, and pens. For although they may not alter the character of your handwriting, yet they will assist to make your writing look better.

233. Clean and Neat

The paper on which you write should be clean, and neatly folded.

234. Stains

There should not be stains on the envelope; if otherwise, it is only an indication of your own slovenliness.

235. Individual Respect

Care must be taken in giving titled persons, to whom you write, their proper designations.

236. Addresses of Letters.

As this branch of epistolary correspondence is one of the most important, we subjoin a few additional hints which letter writers generally would do well to attend to.

When writing several letters, place each in its envelope, and address it as soon as it is written. Otherwise awkward mistakes may occur, your correspondents receiving letters not intended for them. If there be a town of the same name as that to which you are writing existing in another county, specify the county which you mean or, the address. Thus, Richmond, Yorkshire.

When the person to whom you are writing is visiting or residing at the house of another person, it is considered vulgar to put "at Mr. So-and-So's," but simply "Mr. So-and-So's," at being understood.

It is more respectful to write the word "Esquire" in full. The —— substituted for initials is vulgar, and pardonable only in extreme cases; if the Christian name or initials of your correspondent do not occur to you at the moment, endeavour to ascertain them by inquiry.

When addressing a gentleman with the prefix "Mr.," the Christian name or initials should always follow, being more polite, as well as avoiding confusion where persons of the same surname may reside in one house.

In addressing a letter to two or more unmarried ladies, write "The Misses Johnson," and not "The Miss Johnsons;" and, lastly, always write an address clearly and legibly, so that it may not be delayed in delivery, nor be missent.

237. Addresses of Persons of Rank and Distinction¹

238. The Royal Family.

Superscription

.—To the Queen's (

King's

) Most Excellent Majesty.

Commencement

.—Most Gracious Sovereign; May it please your Majesty.

Conclusion

.—I remain, with the profoundest veneration, Your Majesty's most faithful subject and dutiful servant.

239. Princes of the Blood Royal

The Sons and Daughters, Brothers and Sisters, Uncles and Aunts of the Sovereign.—Sup.—To His (Her) Royal Highness the Prince of Wales (Princess Beatrice).

Comm.—Your Royal Highness. Con.—I remain, with the greatest respect (I have the honour to be), your Royal Highness's most obedient servant.

Other branches of the Royal Family.—Sup.—To His Royal Highness the Duke of Cambridge.

Comm.—Your Royal Highness. Con.—I remain, with the greatest respect, your Royal Highness's most humble and obedient servant.

240. Nobility and Gentry.

Duke or Duchess.—Sup.—To His Grace the Duke (Her Grace the Duchess) of Northumberland.

Comm.—My Lord Duke (Madam). Con.—I have the honour to be, My Lord Duke (Madam), Your Grace's most devoted and obedient servant.

Marquis or Marchioness.—Sup.—To the Most Honourable the Marquis (Marchioness) of Salisbury.

Comm.—My Lord Marquis (Madam). Con.—I have the honour to be, My Lord Marquis, Your Lordship's (Madam, Your Ladyship's) most obedient and most humble servant.

Earl or Countess.—Sup.—To the Right Honourable the Earl (Countess) of Aberdeen.

Comm.—My Lord (Madam). Con.—I have the honour to be, My Lord, Your Lordship's (Madam, Your Ladyship's) most obedient and very, humble servant.

Viscount or Viscountess.—Sup.—To the Right Honourable Lord Viscount (Lady Viscountess) Gough.

Comm. and Con. same as Earl's.

Baron or Baroness.—Sup.—To the Right Honourable Lord (Lady) Rowton.

Comm. and Con. same as Earl's.

Younger Sons of Earls, and all the Sons of Viscounts and Barons.—Sup.—To the Honourable Arthur Hamilton Gordon.

Comm.—Honoured Sir. Con.—I have the honour to be, Honoured Sir, Your most obedient and very humble servant.

Baronet and His Wife.—Sup.—To Sir Stafford Northcote, Bart. (Lady Northcote).

Comm.—Sir (Madam). Con.—I have the honour to be, Sir, Your most humble and obedient (Madam, Your Ladyship's most obedient and very humble) servant.

Knight and his Wife.—Sup.—To Sir Francis Wyatt Truscott (Lady Truscott).

Comm. and Con. as preceding.

Esquire.—This title is now accorded to every man of position and respectability, but persons entitled to superior consideration are distinguished by "&c., &c., &c.," added to their superscription.

The wives of Gentlemen, when several of the same name are married, are distinguished by the Christian name of their husbands, as Mrs. John Harvey, Mrs. William Temple.

Privy Councillors.—These have the title of Right Honourable, which is prefixed to their name thus:

Sup.—To the Right Honourable William Ewart Gladstone, M. P. Comm.—Sir. Con.—I have the honour to be, Sir, Your most obedient very humble servant.

Footnote 1:

Adapted from the "Dictionary of Daily Wants," published by Houlston and Sons, Paternoster Square, E.C., in one volume, half bound, at 7s. 6d., or in three separate volumes, cloth, each 2s. 6d.

return to footnote mark

241. The Clergy

Archbishop.—Sup.—To His Grace the Archbishop of Canterbury.

Comm.—Your Grace. Con.—I remain, Your Grace's most devoted obedient servant.

Bishop.—Sup.—To the Right Reverend the Bishop of Winchester.

Comm.—Right Reverend Sir. Con.—I remain, Right Reverend Sir, Your most obedient humble servant.

Doctor of Divinity.—Sup.—To the Reverend James William Vivian, D.D., or, To the Reverend Dr. Vivian.

Comm.—Reverend Sir. Con.—I have the honour to be, Reverend Sir, Your most obedient servant.

Dean.—Sup.—To the Very Reverend The Dean of St. Paul's; or, To the Very Reverend Richard William Church, M.A., D.C.L., D.D., Dean of St. Paul's.

Comm.—Mr. Dean; or, Reverend Sir. Con.—I have the honour to be, Mr. Dean (or Reverend Sir), Your most obedient servant.

Archdeacon.—Sup.—To the Venerable Archdeacon Hessey, D.C.L.

Comm.—Reverend Sir. Con.—I have the honour to remain, Reverend Sir, Your most obedient servant.

Clergymen.—Sup.—To the Reverend Thomas Dale.

Com. and Con. same as the preceding.

Clergymen with Titles.—When a Bishop or other Clergyman possesses the title of Right Honourable or Honourable, it is prefixed to his Clerical title, but Baronets and Knights have their clerical title placed first, as in the following examples:

Sup.—To the Right Honourable and Rigt Reverend the Lord Bishop of Bath and Wells. Sup.—To the Honourable and Right Reverend the Lord Bishop of Norwich. Sup.—To the Right Honourable and Reverend Lord Wriothesley Russell, M.A. Sup.—To the Honourable and Reverend Baptist Wriothesley Noel, M.A. Sup.—To the Reverend Sir Henry R. Dukinfield, Bart, M.A. No clerical dignity confers a title or rank on the wife of the dignitary, who is simply addressed Mistress, unless possessing a title in her own right, or through her husband, independently of his clerical rank.

242. Judges &c.

Lord Chancellor. —Sup.—To the Right Honourable Roundell Palmer, Lord Selborne, Lord High Chancellor of Great Britain.

Master of the Rolls.—Sup.—To the Right Honourable the Master of the Rolls.

Chief Justice.—Sup.—To the Right Honourable the Lord Chief Justice; or, the Right Honourable Lord Coleridge, Lord Chief Justice of England.

The Chief Justice of the Court of Common Pleas is addressed in the same form, and are all styled My Lord.

Lords Justices of Appeal.—The Lords Justices of Appeal are Knights, and should be addressed thus:

Sup.—To the Right Honourable Sir W. Milbourne James, Knt.

Judge of County Courts.—Sup.—To His Honour John James Jeffreys, Judge of County Courts.

A Dirty Grate Makes Dinner Late.

243. Officers of the Navy and Army.

Naval Officers.—Admirals have the rank of their flag added to their own name and title thus:

Sup.—To the Honourable Sir Richard Saunders Dundas, Admiral of the White. If untitled, they are simply styled Sir. Commodores are addressed in the same way as admirals. Captains are addressed either to "Captain William Smith, R.N.;" or if on service, "To William Smith, Esquire, Commander of H.M.S.—" Lieutenants are addressed in the same way.

Military Officers.—All officers in the army above Lieutenants, Cornets, and Ensigns, have their military rank prefixed to their name and title.

Sup.—To General Sir Frederick Roberts. Subalterns are addressed as Esquire, with the regiment to which they belong, if on service.

244. Municipal Officers.

Lord Mayor.—Sup.—To the Right Honourable the Lord Mayor (The Lady Mayoress) of London, York, Dublin; The Lord Provost (The Lady Provost) of Edinburgh.

Comm.—My Lord (Madam). Con.—I have the honour to be, my Lord, Your Lordship's (Madam, Your Ladyship's) most obedient humble servant.

The Mayors of all Corporations, with the Sheriffs, Aldermen, and Recorder of London, are styled Right Worshipful; and the Aldermen and Recorder of other Corporations, as well as Justices of the Peace, Worshipful.

245. Ambassadors

Ambassadors have

Excellency

prefixed to the other titles, and their accredited rank added.

Sup

.—To His Excellency Count Karolyi, Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary from H.I.M. (His Imperial Majesty) The Emperor of Austria.

Sup

.—To His Excellency The Right Honourable Earl of Dufferin, K.P., G.C.M.G., K.C.B., Her Britannic Majesty's Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary to the Sublime Ottoman Porte.

Comm

.—My Lord.

Con

.—I have the honour to be, My Lord, Your Excellency's Most humble obedient servant.

The wives of Ambassadors have also Excellency added to their other titles.

Envoys and Chargés d'Affaires are generally styled Excellency, but by courtesy only.

Consuls have only their accredited rank added to their names or titles, if they have any.

246. Addresses of Petitions

Queen in Council.—All applications to the Queen in Council, the Houses of Lords and Commons, &c., are by Petition, as follows, varying only the title:

To the Queen's most Excellent Majesty in Council, The humble Petition of M.N., &c., showeth That your Petitioner.... Wherefore Your Petitioner humbly prays that Your Majesty will be graciously pleased to.... And Your Petitioner, as in duty bound, will ever pray.

Lords and Commons.—To the Right Honourable the Lords Spiritual and Temporal (To the Honourable the Commons) of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, in Parliament assembled.

The humble Petitioner &c. And your Petitioner [or Petitioners] will ever pray, &c.

247. To those who Write for the Press

It would be a great service to editors and printers if all who write for the press would observe the following rules. They are reasonable, and correspondents will regard them as such:

write with black ink, on white paper, wide ruled.

Make the pages or folios small, one-fourth of a foolscap sheet is large enough.

Leave the second page of each leaf blank; or, in other words, write on one side of the paper only.

Give to the written page an ample margin all round; or fold down the left hand side to the extent of one-fourth the width of the entire paper so as to leave a broad margin on the left side of the paper.

Number the pages; in the order of their succession.

Write in a plain, bold, legible hand, without regard to beauty of appearance.

Use no abbreviations which are not to appear in print.

Punctuate the manuscript as it should be printed.

For italics underscore one line; for small capitals, two; capitals, three.

Never interline without the caret (^) to show its place.

Take special pains with every letter in proper names.

Review every word, to be sure that none is illegible.

Put directions to the printer at the head of the first page.

Never write a private letter to the editor on the printer's copy, but always on a separate sheet.

248. Hints to those who have Pianofortes

Damp is very injurious to a pianoforte; it ought therefore to be placed in a dry place, and not exposed to draughts.

Keep your piano free from dust, and do not allow needles, pins, or bread to be placed upon it, especially if the key-board is exposed, as such articles are apt to get inside and produce a jarring or whizzing sound.

Do not load the top of a piano with books, music, &c., as the tone is thereby deadened, and the disagreeable noise alluded to in the last paragraph is often produced likewise.

Have your piano tuned about every two months; whether it is used or not, the strain is always upon it, and if it is not kept up to concert pitch it will not stand in tune when required, which it will do if it be attended to regularly.

An upright instrument sounds better if placed about two inches from the wall.

When not in use keep the piano locked.

To make the polish look nice, rub it with an old silk handkerchief, being careful first of all to dust off any small particles, which otherwise are apt to scratch the surface.

Should any of the notes keep down when struck, it is a sure sign that there is damp somewhere, which has caused the small note upon which the key works to swell.

249. Gardening Operations for the Year

250. January.—Flowers of the Month.

Christmas Rose, Crocus, Winter Aconite, Alyssum, Primrose, Snowdrop.

251. Gardening Operations

In-door preparations for future operations must be made, as in this month there are only five hours a day available for out-door work, unless the season be unusually mild. Mat over tulip beds, begin to force roses. Place pots over seakale and surround them with manure, litter, dried leaves, &c. Plant dried roots of border flowers in mild weather. Take strawberries in pots into the greenhouse. Take cuttings of chrysanthemums and strike them under glass. Prune and plant gooseberry, currant, fruit, and deciduous trees and shrubs. Cucumbers and melons to be sown in the hot-bed. Apply manures to the soil.

252. February.—Flowers of the Month.

Snowdrop, Violet, Alyssum, Primrose.

253. Gardening Operations

Transplant pinks, carnations, sweet-williams, candy-tuft, campanulas, &c. Sow sweet and garden peas and lettuces, for succession of crops, covering the ground with straw, &c. Sow also Savoys, leeks, and cabbages. Prune and nail fruit trees, and towards the end of the month plant stocks for next year's grafting; also cuttings of poplar, elder, willow trees, for ornamental shrubbery. Sow fruit and forest tree seeds.

254. March.—Flowers of the Month

Primrose, Narcissus, Hyacinth, Wallflower, Hepatica, Daisy, Polyanthus.

255. Gardening Operations

Seeds of "spring flowers" to be sown. Border flowers to be planted out. Tender annuals to be potted out under glasses. Mushroom beds to be made. Sow artichokes, Windsor beans, and cauliflowers for autumn; lettuces and peas for succession of crops, onions, parsley, radishes, Savoys, asparagus, red and white cabbages, and beet; turnips, early brocoli, parsnips and carrots. Plant slips and parted roots of perennial herbs. Graft trees and protect early blossoms. Force rose-tree cuttings under glasses.

256. April.—Flowers of the Month.

Cowslip, Anemone, Ranunculus, Tulip, Polyanthus, Auricula, Narcissus, Jonquil, Wallflower, Lilac, Laburnum.

257. Gardening Operations

Sow for succession peas, beans, and carrots; parsnips, celery, and seakale. Sow more seeds of "spring flowers." Plant evergreens, dahlias, chrysanthemums, and the like, also potatoes, slips of thyme, parted roots, lettuces, cauliflowers, cabbages, onions. Lay down turf, remove caterpillars. Sow and graft camelias, and propagate and graft fruit and rose trees by all the various means in use. Sow cucumbers and vegetable marrows for planting out.

This is the most important month in the year for gardeners.

258. May.—Flowers of the Month

Hawthorn, Gentianella, Anemone, Ranunculus, Columbine, Honeysuckle, Laburnum, Wistaria.

259. Gardening Operations

Plant out your seedling flowers as they are ready, and sow again for succession larkspur, mignonette, and other spring flowers. Pot out tender annuals. Remove auriculas to a north-east aspect. Take up bulbous roots as the leaves decay. Sow kidney beans, broccoli for spring use, cape for autumn, cauliflowers for December; Indian corn, cress, onions to plant out as bulbs next year, radishes, aromatic herbs, turnips, cabbages, savoys, lettuces, &c. Plant celery, lettuces, and annuals; thin spring crops; stick peas, &c. Earth up potatoes, &c. Moisten mushroom beds.

260. June.—Flowers of the Month

Water-lily, Honeysuckle, Sweet-william, Pinks, Syringa, Rhododendron, Delphinium, Stock.

261. Gardening Operations

Sow giant stocks to flower next spring. Take slips of myrtles to strike, pipings of pinks, and make layers of carnation. Put down layers and take cuttings of roses and evergreens. Plant annuals in borders, and place auriculas in pots in shady places. Sow kidney beans, pumpkins, cucumbers for pickling, and (late in the month) endive and lettuces. Plant out cucumbers, marrows, leeks, celery, broccoli, cauliflowers, savoys, and seedlings, and plants propagated by slips. Earth up potatoes, &c. Cut herbs for drying when in flower.

262. July.—Flowers of the Month

Rose, Carnation, Picotee, Asters, Balsams.

263. Gardening Operations

Part auricula and polyanthus roots. Take up summer bulbs as they go out of flower, and plant saffron crocus and autumn bulbs. Gather seeds. Clip evergreen borders and edges, strike myrtle slips under glasses. Net fruit trees. Finish budding by the end of the month. Head down espaliers. Sow early dwarf cabbages to plant out in October for spring; also endive, onions, kidney beans for late crop, and turnips. Plant celery, endive, lettuces, cabbages, leeks, strawberries, and cauliflowers. Tie up lettuces. Earth celery. Take up onions, &c., for drying.

264. August.—Flowers of the Month

Geranium, Verbena, Calceolaria, Hollyhock.

265. Gardening Operations

Sow annuals to bloom indoors in winter, and pot all young stocks raised in the greenhouse. Sow early red cabbages, cauliflowers for spring and summer use, cos and cabbage lettuce for winter crop. Plant out winter crops. Dry herbs and mushroom spawn. Plant out strawberry roots, and net currant trees, to preserve the fruit through the winter.

266. September.—Flowers of the Month

Clematis, or Traveller's Joy, Jasmine, Passion Flower, Arbutus.

267. Gardening Operations

Plant crocuses, scaly bulbs, and evergreen shrubs. Propagate by layers and cuttings of all herbaceous plants, currant, gooseberry, and other fruit trees. Plant out seedling pinks. Sow onions for spring plantation, carrots, spinach, and Spanish radishes in warm spots. Earth up celery. House potatoes and edible bulbs. Gather pickling cucumbers. Make tulip and mushroom beds.

268. October.—Flowers of the Month

Asters, Indian Pink, Chrysanthemum, Stock.

269. Gardening Operations

Sow fruit stones for stocks for future grafting, also larkspurs and the hardier annuals to stand the winter, and hyacinths and smooth bulbs in pots and glasses. Plant young trees, cuttings of jasmine, honeysuckle, and evergreens. Sow mignonette for pots in winter. Plant cabbages, &c., for spring. Cut down asparagus, separate roots of daisies, irises, &c. Trench, drain, and manure.

270. November.—Flowers of the Month

Laurestinus, Michaelmas Daisy, Chrysanthemum.

271. Gardening Operations

Sow sweet peas and garden peas for early flowers and crops. Take up dahlia roots. Complete beds for asparagus and artichokes. Plant dried roots of border flowers, daisies, &c. Take potted mignonette indoors. Make new plantations of strawberries, though it is better to do this in October. Sow peas, leeks, beans, and radishes. Plant rhubarb in rows. Prune hardy trees, and plant stocks of fruit trees. Store carrots, &c. Shelter from frost where it may be required. Plant shrubs for forcing. Continue to trench and manure vacant ground.

272. December.—Flowers of the Month

Cyclamen and Winter Aconite Holly berries are now available for floral decoration.

273. Gardening Operations

Continue in open weather to prepare vacant ground for spring, and to protect plants from frost. Cover bulbous roots with matting. Dress flower borders. Prepare forcing ground for cucumbers, and force asparagus and seakale. Plant gooseberry, currant, apple, and pear trees. Roll grass-plats if the season be mild and not too wet. Prepare poles, stakes, pea-sticks, &c., for spring.

274. Kitchen Garden

This is one of the most important parts of general domestic economy, whenever the situation of a house and the size of the garden will permit the members of a family to avail themselves of the advantages it offers. It is, indeed, much to be regretted that small plots of ground, in the immediate vicinity of the metropolis more especially, are too often converted into flower gardens and shrubberies, or used as mere play-grounds for children, when they might more usefully be employed in raising vegetables for the family. With a little care and attention, a kitchen garden, though small, might be rendered not only useful, but, in fact, as ornamental as a modern grass lawn; and the same expense incurred to make the ground a laboratory of sweets, might suffice to render it agreeable to the palate as well as to the olfactory nerves, and that even without offending the most delicate optics. It is only in accordance with our plan to give the hint and to put before the reader such novel points as may facilitate the proposed arrangement.