Volume 2 — Our Rural Mail Box
Reading edition
Teny Sun—The best way to prevent your dog from suffering with the heat in July is to kill him in June.
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Monk E. Byte—I’m sure I can’t answer your question as to why a girl’s eyelids drop down whenever she kisses a man. But where there’s no sense, there’s no feeling, y’ know.
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Manicurist—I don’t blame you for refusing to manicure the nails of the fellow with St. Vitus’ dance.
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Out West—If you are lonesome for Cape Cod, why not rub fresh herring on yourself and dream you are back home?
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L. Bow—If your trousers are too short, pull up your shoes.
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Hop Head—Flop your ears, there’s a fly on your neck.
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Pope—Yes, Pope, we succeeded in making our own moon shine.
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A Ladies’ Man
Tho I’m growing old and feeble, And my hair is turning grey; And my youth has died within me, And my teeth have passed away— Tho my strength is fastly failing, And a hump is on my back; And my bones are getting stiffer, And my heart is out of whack— Every time I go out walking, Some fair dame is bound to fall, Nothing in the world can stop them— I’m a Ladies’ Man—That’s all.
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My friend Wheeler says that many a man who is a good shot in this world hopes he’ll miss-fire in the next.
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Some women allow their husbands to kiss them for sake of contrast.
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Some evening gowns allow a woman to put up a very bold front.
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The proper length for skirts as decreed by fashion is a little over two feet.
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Don’t cry Mary-Anne, and there’s no use to talk, ’Cause this is the time that we’ve both got to walk.
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A man never knows his real value until he’s sued for breach of promise.