Volume 2 — Limber Kicks

I stepped inside and closed the door, Thinking the office was Brady’s, But turned when I saw the white tiled floor, And found that the sign read SEIDAL

She went up the winding stairs, And close behind I followed; She stooped down to tie her shoe, My chewing gum I swallowed.

A girl who is young, cute and frisque, Can always get plenty of home-made whisque; Any guy she may asque Will slip her a flasque, If she’ll only slip him a kissque.

In a parlor were three, My girl, a lamp and me. Three’s a crowd without a doubt, Wasn’t it nice when the lamp went out?

The Ram, the Bull, the Heavenly Twins; Near the Crab the Lion shines; The Virgin and the Scales; The Scorpion, Archer and the Goat; The Man who holds the Watering Pot, And Fishes with their glittering tails.

A horse-fly lit on the old cow’s skin, Hung his tools and spudded in. Bowed his back and jiggered his pole And all the time he was making a hole. The cow browsed on, in her usual way, Till the horse-fly’s bit struck regular “pay,” Then she swung her tail with a vicious dig And deftly skidded the horse-fly’s rig.

A handsome young fellow named Bertie, Was out with a flapper named Gertie; “Come, kiss me,” he said, But she nodded her head And cried, “I think kissing’s too unsanitary.”

Here’s to the woman of days gone by; (May we meet her kind above!) The woman for whom a man would die, The woman who ruled by love; Who didn’t harangue and who didn’t parade, In whose home it was sweet to dwell; Who believed in raising children, And not in raising hell!

“Why so thin, my pretty maid?” “I’m on a fast, kind sir,” she said. “And how fast are you now?” he said, “That’s none of your affair,” she said.