THOMAS TUSSER.
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Thomas Tusser (a person well known by his Book of Husbandry) was born at Rinen-hall in Essex, of an ancient Family, but now extinct; where, when but young, his Father, designing him for a Singing-man, put him to Wallingford-School, where how his Misfortunes began in the World, take from his own Pen.
O painful time, for every crime, What toosed ears, like baited Bears, What bobbed lips, what yerks, what nips, What hellish toys? What Robes so bare, what Colledge-fare? What Bread how stale, what penny Ale? Then Wallingford, how wer't thou abhorr'd, Of silly boys?
From thence he was sent to learn Musick at Pauls with one John Redford, an excellent Musician; where, having attained some skill in that Art, he was afterwards sent to Eaton-School, to learn the Latine Tongue, where, how his Miseries encreas'd, let himself speak.
From Pauls I went, to Eaton sent, To learn straightways the Latine phrase, Where fifty three stripes given to me, At once I had, For fault but small, or none at all, It came to pass thus beat I was, See Udal, see, the mercy of thee To me poor Lad.
Having attained to some perfection in the Latine Tongue, he was sent to Trinity-Hall in Cambridge, where he had not continued long, but he was vexed with extream sickness, whereupon he left the University, and betook himself to Court, and lived for a while under the Lord Paget, in King Edward the Sixth's days; when, the Lords falling at dissention, he left the Court, and went to Suffolk, where he married his first Wife, and took a Farm at Ratwade in that County, where he first devised his Book of Husbandry, but his Wife not having her health there, he removed from thence to Ipswich and soon after buried her.
Not long after he married again to one Mrs. Amy Moon, upon whose Name he thus versified:
I chanced soon to find a Moon, Of chearful hue; Which well and fine me thought did shine, And never change, a thing most strange, Yet keep in sight her course aright, And compass true.
Being thus married he betook himself again to Husbandry, and hired a Farm, called Diram Cell, and there he had not lived long, but his Landlord died, and his Executors falling at variance, and now one troubled him, and then another, whereupon he left Diram, and went to Norwich, turning a Singing-man under Mr. Salisbury, the Dean thereof; There he was troubled with a Dissury, so that in a 138 Hours he never made a drop of Water. Next he hired a Parsonage at Fairstead in Essex, but growing weary of that he returned again to London, where he had not lived long, but the Pestilence raging there, he retired to Cambridge: Thus did he roul about from place to place, but, like Sisiphus stone, could gather no Moss whithersoever he went: He was successive a Musician, Schoolmaster, Servingman, Husbandman, Grasier, Poet, more skilful in all, than thriving in any Vocation. He traded at large in Oxen, Sheep, Dairies, Grain of all kinds, to no profit. He spread his Bread with all sorts of Butter, yet none would stick thereon. So that he might say with the Poet,
—Monitis sum minor ipse meis.
None being better at the Theory, or worse at the Practice of Husbandry, and may be fitly match'd with Thomas Churchyard, they being mark'd alike in their Poetical parts, living in the same time, and statur'd both alike in their Estates, and that low enough in all reason. He died in London, Anno Dom. 1580. and was buried at St. Mildred's-Church in the Poultrey, with this Epitaph:
Here THOMAS TUSSER, clad in earth doth lie, That sometime made the Points of Husbandry: By him then learn thou may'st, here learn we must, When all is done, we sleep, and turn to dust: And yet, through Christ, to Heaven we hope to go, Who reads his Books, shall find his Faith was so.