ALEXANDER NEQUAM.
Reading edition
Alexander Nequam, the learnedest Englishman of his Age, was born at St. Albans in Hartfordshire: His Name in English signifies Bad, which caused many, who thought themselves wondrous witty in making Jests, (which indeed made themselves) to pass several Jokes on his Sirname, whereof take this one instance: Nequam had a mind to become a Monk in St. Albans, the Town of his Nativity, and thus Laconically wrote for leave to the Abbot thereof;
Si vis, veniam, sin autem, tu autem.
To whom the Abbot returned,
Si bonus sis, venias, si nequam, nequaquam.
Whereupon for the future, to avoid the occasion of such Jokes, he altered his Name from Nequam, to Neckam.
His admirable knowledge in good Arts, made him famous throughout England, France, Italy, yea and the whole World, and that with incredible admiration, that he was called Miraculum ingenij, the Wonder and Miracle of Wit and Sapience. He was an exact Philosopher, and excellent Divine, an accurate Rhetorician, and an admirable Poet, as did appear by many his Writings which he left to posterity, some of which are mentioned by Bale.
That he was born at St. Albans, appears by a certain passage in one of his Latine Poems, cited by Mr. Cambden, and thus Englished by his Translatour, Doctor Holland.
This is the place that knowledge took of my Nativity, My happy Years, my Days also of Mirth and Jollity. This Place my Childhood trained up in all Arts liberal, And laid the ground-work of my Name, and skill Poetical. This Place great and renowned Clerks into the World hath sent; For Martyr bless'd, for Nation, for Sight, all excellent. A troop here of Religious Men serve Christ both night and day, In Holy Warfare, taking pains duly to watch and pray.
He is thought by some, saith Bale, to have been a Canon Regular, and to have been preferred to the Abbotship of Glocester, as the Continuater of Robert of Glocester will have it.
And Master Alisander that Chanon was er Imaked was of Gloucestre Abbot thulk yer. Viz. 7 Reg. Regis Johannis.
But this may be understood of Alexander Theologus, who was contempory with him: and was Abbot of St. Maries in Cirencester at the time of his death.
Bishop Godwin, in his Catalogue of the Bishops of Lincoln, maketh mention of a passage of wit betwixt him and Phillip Repington Bishop of Lincoln, the latter sending the Challenge.
Et niger & Nequam cum sis cognomine Nequam, Nigrior esse potes, Nequior esse nequis. Both black and bad, whilest Bad the name to thee, Blacker thou may'st, but worse thou canst not be.
To whom Nequam rejoyned,
Phi not a foetoris, Lippus malus omnibus horis, Phi malus & Lippus, totus malus ergo Philippus.
Stinks are branded with a Phi, Lippus Latin for blear-eye, Phi and Lippus bad as either, then Philippus worse together.
A Monk of St. Albans made this Hexameter allusively to his Name:
Dictus erat Nequam, vitam duxit tamen aquam.
The Elogy he bestoweth on that most Christian Emperor Constantine the Great, must not be forgot:
From Colchester there rose a Star, The Rays whereof gave Glorious Light Throughout the world in Climates far, Great Constantine, Romes Emperor bright.
He was (saith one) Canon of Exeter, and (upon what occasion is not known,) came to be buried at Worcester, with this Epitaph,
Eclipsim patitur Sapientia, Sol sepelitur, Cui si par unus, minus esset flebile funus; Vir bene discretus, & in omni more facetus, Dictus erat Nequam, vitam duxit tamen æquam. Wisdom's eclips'd, Sky of the Sun bereft; Yet less the loss if like alive were left; A man discreet, in matters debonair, Bad Name, black Face, but Carriage good and fair.
Yet others say he was buried at St. Albans (where he found repulse when living, but repose when dead) with this Epitaph,
Alexander, cognomento Nequam, Abbas Cirecestriæ, Literarum scientia clarus, obiit Anno Dom. 1217. Lit. Dom. C. prid. Cal. Feb. & sepultus erat apud Fanum S. Albani, sujus Animæ propitietur altissimus, Amen.