ANOTHER ATTEMPT AT AN ANZAC ALPHABET
Reading edition
A was the Anguish that spread o’er my face When I saw the remarkable look of the place.
B’s “Beachy Bill,” who fired at my ship— Punctured the funnel and gave me the “pip.”
C was the “Crump” that went by with a screech As I jumped from a lighter and fell on the beach.
D was the Daring I failed to display When fragments of shrapnel came whizzing my way.
E was Earth which I found in my hair As I woke in the morning and crawled from my lair.
F were the Fleas, and also the Flies, Who feed on a fellow wherever he lies.
G were the Gripes that gripped me within— The result of commodities packed in a tin.
H was the Hole that a howitzer made; It would take me an hour to fill in with a spade.
I was the Idiot who stuck up my head Before I was taught to take cover instead.
J was the Jam with our rations and rum— We found it was almost invariably “Plum.”
K was the Knowledge I quickly acquired Of hiding whenever the enemy fired.
L was the Louse that lurked in my vest, Reconnoitred my person, and tickled my chest.
M was the Monitor, firing at night, Which kept me awake when “above” didn’t bite.
N was the “Night stunt,” with trembling heart, Expecting each moment the Maxims would start.
O’s the O.O.[24]; let’s give him a cheer— It isn’t his fault that nothing comes here.
P are the Piers—see them shiver and shake Whenever a launch makes a wash with her wake.
Q stands for “Quick,” to the tunnel we dash When a horrible missile explodes with a crash.
R are the Rumours we hear every day That the Turkish moral has quite faded away.
S is the gilded Staff Officer—who Censors my letters and tears them in two.
T is the Taube that drones in the sky (Thank goodness, I haven’t been ordered to fly!)
U is the Underground sap we expand— There’s a twopenny tube to the Narrows in hand.
V is for Victory. How we shall sing Rule, O Britannia, and God Save the King!
W the Wire we put round our works— We generally find that it’s pinched by the Turks.
X the “X-periments” made with a bomb— A neat little cross on a nice little tomb.
Y in the world have I ever been placed In a trench of cold water right up to my waist?
Z is the mule corps recruited from Zion, Bearers of water and rations of iron.
“Ubique,” 21st Indian Mtn. Battery.