Part 1 — ONWARD CHRISTIAN SCIENCE
Reading edition
Our Christian Science Battery Without a gun or horse, Is just a simple oversight, That will be changed, of course. But while we're waiting patiently, And longing for the day, They have a funny little game They make us fellows play. Bill Hallstead simulates the gun He's sort of short and fat And doesn't look much like a gun, But he's pretty good at that. And they've elected me a horse, Off-horse of the wheel pair; I tie a white cloth on my arm So they can see I'm there. Then when the battery is formed With each man in his place, They line the "pieces" in a row Just like a chariot race. Bill Barnum's "Greatest Show on Earth" Has not a thing on us; We tear around the old parade And kick up clouds of dust. For it's gallop all the morning long, They never let us walk. Why, it gets so realistic That I whinney when I talk. I wouldn't be a bit surprised If I should hear some day That instead of mess they'd issue us That 14 lbs. of hay. And so I'm looking for the man The one who said to me: "You don't want to be a 'doughboy,' Go and join the battery."
