Part 1 — A 2nd REGIMENT "WHO'S WHO"

Major Collins is careful of His regiment's health. Lemonade and other things, Taken on march, Have been known to cause Soldiers to die, and pie? Perish the suggestion! 'Tis Safe to bet the major Was not born in New England. If in a deep wood or desert vast One would never be lost With Captain Barnes. He knows How to orient the landscape By sun or star. Lieutenant Meyer is tall, He holds his hat on By a strap Under his chin. A cyclone couldn't blow it off. Captain Latrobe came on From Texas way, "Sif bofe" his saddle And himself. He might as well Have saved the freight on the saddle, For he has no horse to ride on. He leads his steedless troop On charger invisible. Arnold, Major now, fares better. His horse is real And has white feet. Do not talk to his Command while it is marching, Nor count for the men, or The winning smile will Turn into a volcano, And you will be reduced to A shapeless mass. Beware! Carr's horse is black, And a beauty, too, But neighs out loud; hence Never should be used to patrol. The enemy would listen, and Know you were near. The straightest man On horseback is, Doubtless, Wainwright; And he doesn't lean backward to do it, either. Matthews has a deep voice; No ear trumpet is needed to hear his commands. He believes in exercise. His men should be able to Throw Samson or Sandow, If they are not dead By August Eleventh. Waldron knows how to patrol— At least he wrote a book For thirty cents. He next should write a book on how To spot a periscope when we cross the sea. If we don't know that, we'll never Spot anything else But bubbles on the ocean's face. Capt. Goodwyn just came up From Panama, and brought Chivalry with him. It's as hot here as there, But he is showing us how To make it hotter For certain people To the eastward. There is a fat Q.M., Whose name is Unknown, but not his form. Once seen Never forgotten; He must have The keys to the ice-box.