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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 98, March 22, 1890

Volume 98 — STANZAS TO RHUBARB.

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(By The O'Greedy.)

O bright new-comer, I have seen, I see thee, and rejoice; Though what the coster-man may mean I judge not, by his voice. I see thee, and to either eye The tears unbidden start; O rhubarb! shall I call thee pie, Or art thou truly tart?

I was not wont thy charms to see When childhood stubborn stood Fix'd in the faith, that thou must be Too wholesome to be good. Just as we loved the cloying jam, By no effects dismay'd, Regarding as a bitter sham The honest marmalade.

When daffodillies deck the shops, And hyacinths indoors Recall the flavour of the drops We used to suck by scores (Pear-drops they were,—a subtle blend Of hyacinthine smell, And the banana's blackest end,— We loved them, and were well);

When chrysalis-buds are folded thick, And crocuses awake, And, like celestial almonds, stick In Flora's tipsy-cake; Before the crews are on the Thames, The swallows on the wing, The radiant rhubarb-bundle flames, The lictor-rod of Spring.

Still, still reluctant Winter keeps Some chill surprise in store, And Spring through frosty curtain peeps On snowdrifts at her door; The full moon smites the leafless trees, So full, it bursts with light, Till the sharp shadows seem to freeze Along the highway white.

Yet the keen wind has heard the song Of summer far away. And, though he's got the music wrong, We know what he would say. For in the vegetable cart Thy radiant stalks we spy. O rhubarb, should we call thee tart, Or art thou merely pie?

And why not so? The cushat dove To such a shrine we trust, Though in dumb protest she will shove Her tootsies through the crust; And larks, that sing at Heaven's gate When April clouds are high, Not seldom gain the gourmet's plate Through portals of the pie.

So thou, sweet harbinger of Spring, Gules of her blazon'd field, If in a pie thy praise we sing, To worthy fate wilt yield. Enough! I sing; let others eat: Be mine the poet's lot. The thought of thee is all too sweet— The taste of thee is not.

NO FEAR FOR THE CONSCIENCE CLAUSE
NO FEAR FOR THE CONSCIENCE CLAUSE

NO FEAR FOR THE CONSCIENCE CLAUSE.

Priest (teaching Catechism in Catholic School). "Now, Saunders, repeat the Ten——" All the other Boys. "Please, Father, this 'ere Boy's a Pro's'tant!!"

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