Volume 158 — SONGS OF THE HOME.

IV.—The Barrister Husband. How doth the Barrister delight, According to his sort, To mix in any form of fight In any kind of Court. When Nurse's temper runs amok, And Cook is by the ears, And all the home is terror-struck By notices and tears, And Madame begs me estimate What argument or bounce'll Restore and keep the peace, I state Opinion of Counsel:— "With language dignified and terse And with a haughty look I should annihilate the Nurse And coldly crush the Cook; And, if they started in to weep, A word would make them stow it:— 'That's not effective, merely cheap; And, what is more, you know it.'" "You'd bring the Cook," says she, "to book By just a look?" "I should." "By something terse you'd make the Nurse Feel even worse?" "I would." "You'd say to weep was merely cheap And, what was more, they knew it?" "I should," say I; and her reply Is: "Come along and do it." How doth the Barrister delight In any low resort, And hurry from the losing fight To seek another Court.