FIRST IMPRESSIONS.

Genoa in November. It is summer time. Put on thin suit, drink my café au lait by open window, and stroll out into beautiful Genoa, basking in the sunshine. Déjeuner in the garden of a restaurant, among the old palaces. Sit in the shade, without my hat. Think of all the poor people in London. Wonder if anyone is having a frugal lunch at the funny little open-air restaurant in Hyde Park. Lemonade and a bath bun in a fog. Should imagine not.

Charming place, Genoa. Hardly any Germans. Can at last hear people talking Italian. In Venice there are so many Germans that one might as well be in Germany. Sitting out on the Piazza, one hears incessantly their monotonous, guttural chatter, always in the same tone of voice, without inflections, without emotion, and, worst of all, without end. Watched at the hotel table d'hôte a German lady sitting between two German gentlemen. One man talked loudly without ceasing, mouth full or mouth empty, from soup to dessert. The other man, rather older and feebler, also talked without ceasing, but he could not equal the other's noise; he only added to it. As for the lady, her lips moved all the time; one could imagine the ja wohl, the ach, so? the ja, ja, ja, but one could not hear a word. At Florence, at Milan, on the Lakes it is the same. If by chance one hears a Frenchman speak, his charming language sounds more vivacious and melodious than ever before. So it is good to be in Genoa, where even the best hotel is kept by Italians. Apparently every other good hotel in Italy is kept by Herr Schmidt, or Herr Weber, or Herr Somethingorother, and all the servants are German also. There is one hotel in Genoa kept by a German. It faces the harbour. All night long there are whistles, screams, bangs, rumblings, bumps, roars, and other sounds from trains, ships, and tramways. All day long there is the same noise, only more of it. But the Germans do not mind; they talk just the same, and they make each other hear through it all.

Charming place, Genoa, with a town hall that is the gayest imaginable. Marble staircases, vestibules adorned with palms, beautiful little gardens, at all sorts of levels, outside the windows of the various offices. Everywhere flowers. If the town rates in Genoa are paid at the Town Hall, the paying of them must be almost pleasant. One would go with that horrible demand note, if that is used also in Italy, and fancy that one was arriving at a ball. The palm-decorated entrance looks just like it. It only needs a lady rate collector, such as one hears of in England, and one surely, in whatever manner the Italians may say it, would beg the charming signora to give one the honour and pleasure of a dance, and scribble her name on the programme—I mean the demand note. And no doubt, the Italian officials being leisurely and the space being ample, one could find time for a waltz in the intervals of rate paying, or at least sit it out in one of the delightful little gardens of this ideal Palazzo Municipale.

And so farewell to sunny Genoa, and off to Turin. German hotel again, German proprietor, German servants. Solitary German visitor drinking his morning coffee. The hotels of Turin are not crowded; he and I are alone. What will the poor man do? He must talk his awful language to someone. He shan't talk it to me, for I will pretend I do not understand even one word. The waiter has left the room. Must the poor man be silent? Thunderweather, ah no! Happilywise he is saved. The considerate proprietor, thoughtful of his countryman's needs, enters; he stands by the visitor's table, and the talk begins. When it ends I cannot say, for I leave them, well started and in good voice, and hear, as I think, their sweetly melodious phrases for the last time in Italy. The train carries me away. There is not much more of Italy now, for here is the Mont Cenis tunnel. Farewell, beautiful country, beautiful pictures, beautiful language! There is someone leaning out of the next carriage window. No doubt he is also saddened; he is speaking to others inside, his voice is cheerful, he is evidently trying not to give way to despair. Now I hear what he says, "Da werde ich ein Glas Bier trinken, ja, ja, ja!"

A First Impressionist.

Wanted! a Perfect Cure for the incompatibility of Judges' sentences.

PREHISTORIC PEEPS.

During a considerable portion of the Year the Skating was excellent, and was much enjoyed by all Classes.

INDEX

Ad Jovem Pluvium, 263

Afterpart à la L. C. C. (An), 302

"After the Health Congress is over," 71

Airs Resumptive, 45, 66, 83, 165, 205

All my Eye! 121

"All's Well!" 258

"All up with the Empire," 183

Alpine Railway (An), 95

Amare, O! 263

Anglo-Russian Echo (An), 95

Another Man's Ears, 165

Apple of Discord (The), 39

Art of Naval Platitude (The), 216

As we like it, 25

At Last! 18

At the Westminster Play, 303

"Automatic" Conscience (The), 147

"Auxiliary Assistance" in the Provinces, 105

Awful Outlook (An), 177

"Awkward Customer" (An), 210

Ballade of Imitations, 11

Ballade of Three Volumes (A), 39

Ballade to Order, 298

"B. and S." at the Savoy (A), 292

Bank Holiday Dream-Book (The), 57

Battle of the Budget (The), 3

Bayard and Bobby, 201

Beauties of Bologna, 215

Betting Man on Cricket (A), 65

Blue Gardenia (The), 185

Bowl me no more! 155

British Lions, 185

Broken China, 192

Bygones, 85

Cabby's Answers, 5

Cant v. Cant, 207

Certain Cure (A), 145

"Challenge" (The), 219

Chief Mourner (The), 222

Chronicles of a Rural Parish (The), 217, 237, 250, 263, 265, 288, 299

Clerical Question for Exeter (A), 183

Clio at Salcombe, 215

"Clubs! Clubs!" 77

Coincidence's Long Arm, 167

Complaint of the Modern Lover, 167

Compliments of the Season, 301

Copperation at Winser (The), 46

"Copy," 297

Corean Cock-fight (The), 54

Counting Noses, 257

Counting the Catch, 90

Crossed! 251

Cryptogrammatist Wanted, 72

Curios for the Cricketing Exhibition, 298

Curious Accident to Mrs. R., 336

Curse (The), 118

Dangerous Doctrine, 120

Day of Small Things (The), 213, 255

Day's Ride, a Law's Romance (A), 155

Decadent Guys (The), 225

Demi-French Octave (A), 47

Diary of a Duck, 274

Dilemma of the Headless Spectre, 213

Ditto to Mr. Courtney, 83

Diurnal Feminine (The), 13

Dog on his Day (A), 302

Dog's Meet, 118

Don't "Come unto these Yellow Sands"! 114

Doom of the Minor Poets (The), 251

Eastward Ho! 63

Ejaculations, 141

Embarras de Richesses, 87

End of the Opera Season (The), 57

Engagement (An), 264

English as she is Crammed, 292

Essence of Parliament, 11, 23, 35, 48, 59, 71, 84, 95, 108

"Evicted Tenants," 42

Extract (An), 281

Fancy Portrait, 15

Farewell to McGladstone, 46

Fashion and Felony, 232

Femina Dux Facti, 221

"Finest English," 113

Finishing Touches, 221

First Impressions, 192, 204, 238, 252, 264, 273, 287, 289, 309

Fizz and Fuss, 298

Fly Route to Castles in the Air, 83

Following Footsteps, 125

Fool's Vade Mecum (The), 273

For Arms or Alms? 45

"For Example!" 162

"Fourth R" (The), 243

Fragment of a Police "Report d'Arthur," 177

Friend in Need (A), 30

From the Birmingham Festival, 186

Future Fame, 203

Gaiety "Sans-Gêne," 9

Gay Widow Courted (A), 221

General Literary Review Company (Limited), 168

Generosity under Difficulties, 291

Gilbert and Carr-icature, 240

Gismonda, 233

Good News, 121

"Good Time coming" (A), 27

Good Wishes, 36

Gossip without Words, 189

"Grand National" Trust (The), 47

Guesses at Goodwood, 37

Hanwellia's Answer, 179

Hardy Annual at Henley, 15

Hawarden Pastoral (A), 96

Haymarket Heroine (The), 241

Helmholtz, 141

Henley Notes, 22

Herrick on Rational Dress, 147

Hint for the Alpine Season, 74

Hopeless Case (A), 135

Hopeless Quest (A), 206

House-Agent's Dream (The), 270

How it will be done hereafter, 89

Ichabod, 253

If not, why not? 169

"I'm getting a Big Girl now!" 171

Improved and Improving Dialogues, 269

Inconvenienced Traveller's Phrase-Book, 82, 125

Infant Phenomenon (The), 291

In Memoriam, 102; Comte de Paris, 126

In Nuce, 159

In Paris out of the Season, 133

In Praise of Boys, 107

Ins and Outs, 213

Inter-University Football, 285

In the Museum, 141

In Three Volumes, 101

Invasion of Woman (The), 145

Is the Bar a Profitable Profession? 109

Jap the Giant-Killer, 150

John Bull à la Russe, 264

John Walter, 232

"Judgment of 'Parish'" (The), 267

"Justice as she is Spoken in France," 75

Ladas! 141

La Femme de Claude, 42

Latest Great Yacht-Race, 29

Latest Parliamentary Betting, 25

Latest War Intelligence, 276

Law of the (Social) Jungle (The), 111

Lay of the Explorer (The), 33

Lay of the Vigilant (The), 204

Lessons in Laughter, 174

Letters from a Débutante, 168, 180, 183

Letters to a Débutante, 229

Lex Talionis, 141

Light in Darkness, 162

Lines by a Lazy Body, 120

Lines in Pleasant Places, 21, 49, 74, 131, 153

Lines to a Lady, 253

Links (The), 213

Literary Intelligence, 121

Little Ah Sid, 183

Little Flirtation (A), 147

Little Holiday (A), 69

"Little too Previous!" (A), 102

"Living Pictures," 197

Local Colour, 210

London Bicyclists, 49

Lord Ormont's Mate and Matey's Aminta, 37, 57, 61

Lord Rosebery in the North, 159

Lost in London, 285

"Lost Rings," 149

Love's Labour Not Lost, 279

Lowered! 71

Lower Education of Women (The), 11

Lunnon Twang (The), 159

"Lying Low," 294

Lyre and Lancet, 4, 16, 28, 40, 52, 64, 76, 88, 100, 112, 124, 136, 148, 160, 172, 184, 196, 208, 220, 239, 244, 256, 268, 280

Making of a Man (The), 293

Making the Running with the Derby Winner, 169

"Man in Armour" to the Multitude, 228

March of Civilisation (The), 61

Mary Jones, 285

"Matrimonial Obedience," 179

Matron's Hiss (The), 178

Mayen-aisy-now! 233

Mayennaise v. Mayonnaise, 203, 209

Message from Mars (The), 81

Midsummer Day-Dream (A), 30

Minx (The), 33

Moan from Mitcham (A), 135

Mobilised Mandarin (The), 141

Modern Madame (A), 27

Modern Mangers, 183

Modern Society Play (The), 285

Modern Tragedy (A), 93

Morbidezza, 204

More Ornamental than Useful, 73

More She-Notes, 249, 276

Morgenlied, 145

"Moving about in Worlds not realised," 192

"Mowing them Down!" 66

Mr. Punch on Billiards, 238

Mr. Punch on Peeler Piper, 135

Mr. Punch to Two Noble Sportsmen, 22

Mrs. Prowlina Pry, 195

Much Ado about Nothing, 279

Muddy Milan, 171

Music with a Future (The), 251

"Mutes and Liquids," 121

New Air (The), 87

New and Old, 241

New Candidate (The), 209

New Departure (A), 216

New Fashion (The), 167

New Heroine (The), 293

New Honours, 276

New Lamps for Old, 137

New Man (The), 167

New Nectar (The), 286

New Newness (The), 84

New Party (The), 18

News from Norwich, 131

Next War (The), 94

Noble Half-Hundred! 94

Noblesse Oblige, 1, 75

"Nobody Looking!" 246

Nomine Tantum, 21

Nominis Umbra, 253

Notices to Correspondents, 286

Not Master of himself though China fall, 74

Novelist's Vade Mecum (The), 261

Novelties in Gastronomy, 251

O. B. C. (Limited) (The), 177

Ode for the Marriage Season, 131, 142

Ode on a Distant Partridge, 138

Ode on Sacrifice, 49

Ode to Ixion, 82

Of Vain Colours, 288

"Oh, the Mistletoe Bough!" 306

"Oh, you Wicked Story!" 99

"Old Offender" (An), 282

Old Three-Vol., 63

Oliver Wendell Holmes, 191

Ollendorfian, 258

On a Clumsy Cricketer, 106

One Man One Job, 297

On the War in the East, 133

Operatic Notes, 17

Origin of the Blush-Rose, 206

Our All-round Exchangers' Company, 197

"Our Benighted Ancestors," 132

Our Booking-Office, 1, 22, 25, 65 107, 132, 161, 173, 181, 203, 205, 228, 233, 252, 257, 269, 288, 300, 304

Our Charity Fête, 60

Our "Monthly Pops," 240

Our National Defences, 129

"Out we go!" 119

Oxford and Yale, 48

Oyster and the Sparrow (The), 93

Page from "Rosebery's History of the Commonwealth," 106

Partially Unreported Dialogue, 11

Pat the Patriot, 215

Perils of a Jesting Premier (The), 298

"Personally Conducted," 51

Phalse Note on George the Fourth, 204

Phosphorescence in Art, 24

Pier of the Empire (A), 189

Pious Lyncher's Creed (The), 120

Plague of Poets (The), 121

Plaint of the Unwilling Peer (The), 82

Polite Guide to the Civil Service (The), 207, 227, 234

Political Conference, 231

Polychrome English, 193

Possible Developments, 203

Princely Offer (A), 144

Professor of the Period (The), 153

Puff and a Blow (A), 21

Pullman Car (The), 107

Punch to the New Attorney-General, 205

"Putting his Foot in it," 78

Queer Queries, 83, 101, 107, 117, 246, 297

Question and Answer, 135

Ranelagh in Rain, 47

Rational Dress, 101

Reading between the Lines, 305

Reflections, 167

Remnants, 63

"Rhymes," 109

Rhyme to Rosebery, 96

Rider's Vade Mecum (The), 51

Riverside Lament (A), 25

Robert and Grinnidge, 94

Robert and Unifikashun, 281

Robert Louis Stevenson, 303

Robert on Amerrycans, 120

Robert on the Wonderful Bridge again, 9

Robert's Picter, 145

Robert's Sollem Adwise, 217

"Room for a Big One!" 99

Royal Welsh Bard (The), 86

Rubenstein, 255

Rule, "Britannia," 33

Runner Nuisance (The), 125

Sapphics on Traffic, 117

Saturday Pops, 71

School-Board Apple-Pie (The), 219

Scott on the New Woman, 73

Sea-Fairies (The), 122

Sea-quence of Sonnets (A), 153

Seasons (The), 274

Sitting on Our Senate, 106

Sequel to the Story of Ung (A), 300

Seven Ages of Rosebery (The), 165

"Shaky!" 270

Silly Seasoning, 110

Slight Adaptation (A), 228

Slow and not quite Sure, 165

Snubbed Professional's Vade Mecum, 289

Society for the Advancement of Literature, 89

Soft Answer (A), 11

Song for the Slogger (A), 117

Song of the Impecunious Bard, 131

Song of the Leaders (The), 201

Song of the Twentieth Century (A), 22

Songs of the Streets, 5, 16

Sounding the Antitoxin, 274

Sport for Ratepayers, 49

State Aid for Matrimony, 13

St. Leger Coincidence (A), 135

Suggested Addendum (A), 126

Sunday Lecture Case (The), 285

Tale of a Vote (The), 201

Tale of Two Telegrams (The), 97

Talk à la Mode de Londres, 261

Talk in Court, 22

Teddie the Tiler, 192

Tempora Mutantur, 131

"Terrible in his Anger!" 159

Terrible Transformation (A), 145

Thanks to the "Bystander," 133

That Advanced Woman! 142

Those Lancers, 303

"Three Cheers for the Emperor," 297

Three Christmas Greetings, 301

Tips, 144

To a Lady, 294

To Althea in Church, 145

To Althea in the Stalls, 33

To Amanda, 180

To a Philanthropist, 105

To a Pretty Unknown, 192

To a Scorcher, 142

To a Surrey Hostess, 85

To a Would-be Authoress, 93

To a Would-be Despot, 215

To a Venetian Policeman, 195

To a Veteran Champion, 83

"To be taken as read," 77

To Dorothy, 108

To Hanwellia from Earlswood, 137

To her Mother, 120

To Lettina, 209

To Melenda, 309

To Molly, 229

To my Beef Tea, 77

To Philadelphia, 302

To Sentiment, 144

To the Oxford Cricket Captain, 17

Touching Appeal (A), 234

Tree with Variegated Leaves, 277

"Tripping Merrily," 143

Triumph of the School Board (A), 265

True Glory, 276

Truisms of Life (The), 287, 293

Trust to be Trusted (A), 149

Two "General" Favourites, 203

Two Ways of Auditing, 206

Unrest! 174

Vacuous Time (The), 119

Vade Mecum for the Naval Manœvres, 37

Vagabond Verses, 219

Venetian Flower-Sellers, 191

Verse and Choral Summing-up, 203

Verses to the Weather Maiden, 93

"Vested Interests," 186

Village Blacksmith (The), 282

"Vive la République!" 6

Voice from "the Upper Suckles" (A), 85

Volunteer's Vade Mecum (The), 25

Vote of Thanks (A), 65

Voyage of Alfred (The), 113

Waiting their Turn, 18

War Cry (The), 54

Wet-Willow, 107

What's in a Name, indeed? 47

What we may expect soon, 27

Wheel and Whoa! 137

Where are you going, revolting Maid? 198

Where to go, 82

Whims of Amphitryon (The), 245

Whither Away? 9

"Wigs on the Green!" 126

"Winding'em up," 198

With Kind Regards, 277

Words to the Wise Women, 275

Ye Gentlemen of Holland, 78

Yellow Age (The), 66

Yellow Riding-Habit (The), 94

Yet another Memoir of Napoleon, 13

Young Pretender (The), 138

Yule Gretynge (A), 300