Volume 100 / Part 3 — OUR ADVERTISERS.
Reading edition
THE JERRYBAND PIANO is a thundering instrument.
THE JERRYBAND PIANO should be in every Lunatic Asylum.
THE JERRYBAND PIANO.—This wonderful and unique instrument, horizontal and perpendicular Grand, five octaves, hammerless action, including keyboard, pedals, gong, peal of bells, ophicleide stop, and all the newest improvements, can be seen at Messrs. SPLITTE AND SON's Establishment, High Holborn, and purchased ON THE FIFTY YEARS' HIRE SYSTEM, by which, at a payment of 1s. 1-1/2d. a week, the piano, or what is left of it, becomes the property of the purchaser, or his heirs and executors, at the expiration of that period.
PECADILLA is a new after-dinner, home-grown Sherry, of quite extraordinary value and startling excellence.
PECADILLA is a full, fruity, gout-giving, generous, heady wine, smooth on the palate, round in the mouth, full of body, wing, character, and crust.
PECADILLA may be safely offered at funerals.
PECADILLA is a beverage for Dukes in distressed circumstances.
PECADILLA is the wine, par excellence, for the retrenching.
PECADILLA, mixed with citrate of soda, treacle, and soda-water, and drunk in the dark immediately after a glass of hot ginger brandy, will be found to possess all the quality of a low-priced Champagne.
PECADILLA is the making of an economical wedding breakfast.
PECADILLA. A few parcels of this unique and delicious Wine are still to be had of the grower, a Sicilian Count, for the moment resident in Houndsditch, at the nominal price, inclusive of the bottles, of five shillings and ninepence the dozen.
TO MR. RUDYARD KIPLING.
(An Explanation.)
["Every minute of my time during 1891 is already mortgaged. In 1892 you may count upon me."—Mr. JEROME K. JEROME, not Mr. RUDYARD KIPLING. See "Punch," Feb. 14.]
Oh, Mr. KIPLING!—you whose pungent pen Of pirate publishers has been the terror, Try hard, I beg you, to forgive me, when I openly confess I wrote in error. It was not you by whom the deed was done. But Mr. JEROME 'twas who wrote and said he Could not contribute, since his Ninety-One Was mortgaged to the Editors already. 'Twas rough on you, indeed, in such a way, By thinking you were he, to dim your glory. Yet pray believe I really grieve to say I mixed you up with quite "another story"!
DRAMATIC ILLUSTRATION OF AN ADVERTISEMENT.—In one of the advertising columns of the Times the paragraph appeared one day last week. The newspaper containing it lay on the table of a drawing-room. Elderly beau was making up (he was accustomed to making-up in another sense, as his wig and whiskers could testify) to charming young lady. Such was the scene. He asked her to accept him. Her reply was to show him the heading of this advertisement in the Times:—"YOUTH WANTED." Tableau! Exit Beau. Curtain.
MISS PARLIAMENT'S DREAM OF A FANCY BALL.
A Suggestion for Druriolanus at Covent Garden.