"ASK A P'LICEMAN!"
Reading edition
Mr. M-tth-ws sings:—
The Police Force are a noble lot, They clear our streets and squares; To Demonstrators give it hot, And banish civic scares. But there's one thing I wish to know; Why do the public grin When one Commissioner will go, And t'other won't stop in? Chorus. Why did Monro resign? Ask a P'liceman! Was it any fault of mine? Ask a P'liceman! Every member of the Force Backs the popular Boss—of course! If you want to know the truth, Ask a P'liceman! I'm very sure I'm always right, And yet it's vastly queer, My Secretary's aid they slight, My Pension-projects jeer. My Superannuation plan Won't wash—at Scotland Yard. They seem against me to a man. It's really very hard. Chorus. If you'd know why Warren went, Ask a P'liceman! Or why Monro's not content, Ask a P'liceman! Isn't it enough to vex The most genial of Home-Secs.? If you want an answer—plump, Ask a P'liceman! I'm getting quite unpopular; I can't imagine why. If in the Force itself there's war, 'Gainst me there'll be a cry. Fancy our Constables on strike For Eight Hours, and the rest! The prospect's one I do not like. P'licemen, don't be a pest! Chorus (in which Mr. M-t-th-ws does not join.) If you want to know the facts, Ask a P'liceman! About M-tth-ws and his acts, Ask a P'liceman! If you wish the truth to know About popular Monro, And who next ought to resign, Ask a P'liceman!!!
A NASTY ONE.
Miss Smith (to Brown, who has just been relating an amusing personal experience). "How good! And did it really happen to you?"
Brown. "Yes, really—only yesterday!"
Jones (his hated rival). "Ah! But I can tell you a still older Story than that, about a Fellow who——" [Tells a regular Joe Miller.