Volume 147 — ARCHIBONG.
Reading edition
[Encouraged by the example of some eminent followers of Tyrtæus, Mr. Punch has great pleasure in printing the following topical soldiers' song, composed by one of his young men after reading about a British force that seized Archibong in the Cameroons.]
O we're marching on to good old Archibong; And we're going most particularly strong; For our beef is really "bully," And they feed us very fully— Yes, the feeding's fit for any restaurong, Très bong, Fit for any fust-class London restaurong.
What's the matter with the road to Archibong? We didn't come out here to play ping-pong Or to get up a gymkhana— But we'll all have a banana When we've driven back the Proosians to Hong Kong, Ding-dong, When we've driven back the Proosians to Hong Kong.
What's the matter with the town of Archibong? It isn't quite as lively as Boulong; But the name is very tuneful— Yes, I'll have another spoonful, For I never liked my soda-water strong; It's wrong For a man to drink his soda-water strong.
Then here's a parting cheer to Archibong, Where the natives play divinely on the gong; It's not so cool and airy As the town of Tipperary, But it's just as good for tittuping along In a song, It's just as good for tittuping along.
Scalped.
From Battalion Orders of a certain regiment:—
"The Brigadier-General regrets that the 5th are noticeable throughout the brigade for the long, slovenly and unkempt condition of men's hair. The Commanding Officer considers that this reflects on the credit of the battalion and directs Company Commanders to take immediate steps to have this slight removed for good and all."
What's in a Hyphen?
From a cinema advertisement:—
"THE TWO-STEP CHILDREN (Drama)."
It sounds rather more like Musical Comedy.
"Between them the vessels of the Allies succeeded in destroying a German battery of field artillery, dispersed a German bridging train collected to force the passage of the Yser, blew up an ammunition column, killed General von Tripp, expressed pleasure at the Russians winning in Galicia, and even regarded it as compensation for his wound."—Aberdeen Free Press.
Is there anything the Fleet can't do?