Volume 147 — THE INTRUSIONS OF THE CINEMA.
Reading edition
[Jones, secretary to the South Sea Islanders' Regeneration Society, who is suffering from nerves, is recommended a very remote sea-coast retreat for his summer holiday. With his wife and family he tries it. The manager of a certain cinema company likewise chooses this particular spot for his company to rehearse their powerful new drama, "Down among the Dead Men."]
Miss Jones. "wake up, Dad, we're going to bathe."
First Act of the Drama.—After the wreck: Desmond and Rosemary washed ashore on the Cannibal Island.
Jones (to the rescue). "Devils! fiends! Untie that white man!"
The Cinema Manager explains. "Sorry to have caused you any inconvenience, Sir—merely rehearsing 'Down among the Dead Men'—dam fine drama, Sir—we produce same at the Opera 'Ouse, Croydon, on the 16th."
Surf-rider. "I'm almost sure this isn't a bit the way it's done in those illustrated papers!"
Early Tripper. "Makes yer feel like ole Napoleon at what's-its-name!"
APT NOMENCLATURE IN OUR GARDEN SUBURB.
The Captain. "The bloomin' vice-president's forgot the stumps. Young Bill 'ere better be the wicket—'e wants to play and 'e's too little to bat agin swift bowlin'!"
Native (having seen his rival tipped by guileless visitor). "'E's swindled yer, sir. I'm the oldest inhabitant—ninety-four come Sunday three weeks. 'e's only a youngster of eighty-two."
Even in his play the scientist's child is scientific.
