SCRAPS FROM CHAPS.

Festive Farmers.—There was a meeting lately of the North Somerset Agricultural Society, whereat—according to the Bristol Mercury—

Mr. S. Harding proposed "The health of Mr. E. H. Llewellyn, their president and member." Mr. Llewellyn, he said, was the idol of North Somerset.

The toast was drank amidst the singing of "For he's a Jolly Good Fellow."

Mr. Llewellyn thanked all present for their kindness in paying him the greatest compliment they could pay to an Englishman, namely, by calling him a jolly good fellow.

The Hope-crop in Scotland.—In another agricultural body—the Scottish Chamber to wit—they seem to be rather sanguine souls. One speaker remarked that "Mr. Long and the other members of the Government were pledged up to the hilt to dispel agricultural depression." He did not mention when the Government are supposed to have "taken the pledge," or how anybody can contrive to be pledged "up to the hilt," instead of—as it ought to be—"down to the dregs," about any thing. "Dispel" is a little too strong. Didn't Lord Salisbury at Watford say he had "no panacea"? The farmer's friends must go slow—plenty of patience and "pluck," or they'll be "ploughed"!

CACOËTHES SCRIBENDI.

Fancy Portrait of the Gentleman who writes every Year to the Times, to chronicle the first Primrose he picks in the Vicarage Garden, and the song of that precocious Cuckoo that his little Grandson heard in the Woods on the First of April. He is now writing to describe a Meteor which flew over the Vicarage with a loud report at 9.37¼ p.m. on November 5, 1895, just as he was about to retire for the night.

Coma or Convalescence?—Listen to the Cork Daily Herald:—

"Something must be done to bring about the return of the old healthy conditions in the Irish Party."

It sees it at last! No doubt the Party was strong and vigorous "sub consule Parnell"; but was it the strength of health, or of inflammation, as Dr. Gerald Balfour and the Unionist doctors would say? The leading Irish physicians, of course, hold that the patient is now in a relapse, and must be roused at all costs, and to rouse him they all quarrel at his bedside. Not a "good bedside manner," this!

Congratulations.

To whom? To Mr. Stanhope Forbes, A.R.A., on his receiving a first-class medal at the Munich Arts Exhibition. They should also have bestowed on him the freedom of the city and made him a member of the Munich-ipality. Likewise to Hubert Herkomer, R.A., decorated by the Emperor of Austria. So far is good, very excellent good; but there may be yet something in store for him, and Mr. Punch says—

But all will come in good time, to our artistic Brother Brush and Worshipful Worker in metals.

"PLEASE TO REMEMBER THE NINTH OF NOVEMBER."

An esteemed and learned contributor, who wishes, for the moment, to preserve his incognito, has sent to 85, Fleet Street, a suggestion for the procession of the ninth inst., which may yet recommend itself to the Lord Mayor Elect:—"As Sir Walter is a barrister-at-law," writes our correspondent, "would it not be a graceful act if his connection with the forensic profession were brought in prominence by suitable accessories?" As the idea is worthy of consideration, the proposed programme is herewith set forth:—

Constable clearing his throat. Inns of Court Volunteers, with their bands. Private Practice (alone). Deputation of the Junior Bar, a thousand strong, shirking their military responsibilities. Master of the Revels of Gray's Inn, in wig and Maske of Flowers, on horseback. Deputation of the Junior Bar, with Bar-maids, dancing. Treasurer of the Middle Temple seated in a car representing a Smoking Concert in Hall. A Solicitor with briefs. Deputation of the Junior Bar, two thousand strong, in close attendance. Hungry Members of the L. C. Sessions who have not received "soup." The Recorder of London seated in his chariot. Banner with Recorder's motto, "Come one, come Hall!" Full Members of the L. C. Sessions who have received "soup," preceded by officer, in uniform of "Marshal Tureen." Sir George Lewis in a big case, drawn by Irritating Magistrates. Deputation of the Junior Bar, three thousand strong, prepared for actions. A car containing all the Judges, drawn by Mr. Ex-Solicitor-General on a single sheet. Sheriffs' officers dancing. Trophy representing the Glories of the Past, including Effigies of John Doe and Richard Roe, and other celebrities. One-horse Fly of Mr. A. Briefless, Junior, occupied by his Clerk. The City Marshal alone, without Snelgrove. The Right Hon. the Lord Mayor in full forensic costume, consulting his Fee-book. Deputations from various Bars—Potters Bar, Criterion Bar, Old Turnpike Bars, and Sir Arthur Sullivan representing Bar of Music.

It is suggested by the proposer of the programme that it would be useless to arrange for any large number of solicitors to be present. The members of that branch of the profession are invariable well employed during term time. But this consideration does not apply to the younger members of the Bar. It is understood that gentlemen duly qualified to take part in the procession can obtain full particulars by applying to Pump-handle Court, and asking (in the first instance) for Mr. Portington.