TO MY "PUFF PUFF"
Reading edition
Puff me away from the noise and the worry; Puff me away from the desolate town; Puff me—but don't be in too great a hurry; Puff me, but don't in a tunnel break down. Puff me away to my loved Isle of Thanet Swiftly—or e'en at the pace called the snail's, Puff me the sea-breeze, and pleasantly fan it Into my nostrils—but don't leave the rails. Puff me away, far from Parliament's houses; For brown moors of Scotland my soul is athirst— For a smell of the heather, a pop at the grouses; Puff me, but mind that your boiler don't burst. Puff me en route for care-killing Killarney, Tenderly take me, as bridegroom his bride; Bear me towards Erin, blest birthplace of Blarney, Puff, puff, like blazes—but, please, don't "collide!"
DIGNITY AND IMPUDENCE
Customer (Time—Saturday afternoon). "I don't want all coppers in change for that shilling. Haven't you got any silver?"
Newsboy. "All right, sir. Want a little Sunday money, I s'pose, sir?"