THE TOURIST'S BAROMETER
Reading edition
(Read on the Channel)
Splendid Weather.
I never mind the sea myself. The rougher for me the better. Have a cigar?
Very Fine.
One certainly does feel that only Englishmen can be sailors. Somehow or other they take naturally to the sea—now, don't they?
Fine.
Yes. I always come by Folkestone. I never could see the use of the Castalia. We are not foreigners, you know. Most of us have our sea-legs. Eh?
Moderate.
Yes. Perhaps a little brandy-and-water would be a good thing.
Sea slight.
very roughest passage I remember. But I am an excellent sailor. Still, would you mind putting out that cigar?
Rather Rough.
It's simply disgraceful. The Castalia ought to be established by Act of Parliament. Shall write to the Times. I shall go down below—to think about it!
Rough
Oh! Here, somebody! Will it be more—than five minutes? Oh! oh! oh!
Very Rough.
(Far too dreadful for description.)
EASTER RECREATIONS
Enthusiastic Skipper (to friend). "Ah, my boy! this is what you wanted. In a short time you'll feel yourself a different man!"