A SUPPLEMENT OF FABLES, OUT OF Phædrus, Avienus, Camerarius, Neveletus, Apththonius, Gabrias, Babrias, Abstemius, Alciatus, Boccalini, Baudoin, De la Fontaine, Æsope en Belle Humeur, Meslier, &c. (continued 2)

We may learn from hence also, that Justice is so Awfully Sacred, that the most Faithless of Men have a secret Veneration for it; for their Uttermost Cruelties are cover’d with the semblance of it; and in the very Exercise of the Vice, they Affect the Reputation of the Virtue. ’Tis neither Prudent nor Safe, in fine, to Provoke great Men, or indeed to have any thing to do with them, if they be not Men of Honour, as well as of Power; for though their Hands seem to be Bound, they can yet Untye themselves, by Virtue of a certain Prerogative they have to Play Fast or Loose at Pleasure.

Fab. CCCCXVII. Two Laden Asses.

There’s an Old Story of Two Asses Traveling upon the Road, the One Laden with Oats, the other with Mony: The Mony-Merchant, I Warrant ye, was so Proud of his Trust and of his Bell, that he went Jurking and Tossing of his Head, and Tabring with his Feet all the way, as if no Ground would hold him. The other Plodding on with his Nose in the Breech of his Leader, as Gravely as one Foot could follow another. While they were Jogging on thus upon the way, out comes a Band of Highway-Men from the next Wood, and falls upon the Ass that carried the Treasure. They Beat, Wound and Rifle him, and so leave him, without so much as taking the least Notice of his Fellow. Well, (says the King’s Ass,) and for all this Mischief I may e’en thank my Mony. Right, says the other; and it has been my Happiness that I was not thought worth the Robbing.

The Moral.

Poverty is both Safe and Easie; and Riches a Great Snare to People in many Cases: As it far’d worse here with the State-Ass then with the Muletiers.

REFLEXION.

The poor Peaceable Man has nothing to Fear, but does his Bus’ness, and takes his Rest, without the Trouble either of Thieves or of Alarums. ’Tis the Booty, not the Man, (save only for the Booty’s Sake,) that is in Danger. There’s either Mony or Mony’s-worth, in all the Controversies of Life; for we live in a Mercenary World, and ’tis the Price, in some sort or other, of all things that are in it; but as it certainly draws Envy and Hazzard after it, so there are great Advantages go along with it, and great Blessings that attend the right use of it. And so for Poverty too; a narrow Fortune is undoubtedly a Cramp to a great Mind, and lays a Man under a Thousand Incapacities of serving either his Countrey or his Friend; but it has the Comforts yet of being free from the Cares and Perils that accompany great Masses of Treasure and Plentiful Estates. Beside, that the Virtue of a Generous and a Charitable Tenderness of Nature, is never the less Acceptable to him that takes the Will for the Deed, for want of Ability to put those good Inclinations in Execution. This Fable in short, makes good the Old Saying,

Fab. CCCCXVIII. A Boar Challenges an Ass.

There pass’d some Hard Words betwixt a Boar and an Ass, and a Challenge follow’d upon’t. The Boar depended upon his Tusks, and computed within himself, that Head to Head the t’other could never be able to Encounter him. So he Advanc’d upon his Adversary: And the Ass, so soon as ever he had him within Distance, turn’d Tayl upon him, and gave him such a Lash over the Chops with his Iron Hoof, that he made him stagger again. The Boar, after a little Pause, Recover’d himself. Well, (says he,) I was not aware of such an Attack from that End.

The Moral.

No great Enterprize should be Undertaken without considering beforehand the Good or the Ill that may come of it.

REFLEXION.

This Fable shews the great Oversight of Engaging in Quarrels, without considering from what Quarter the Danger may come. Where Adversaries are unequally Match’d, it will behove the Weaker to supply the want of Force and Courage, by Invention and Address. Presumption can never Justifie either Temerity or Carelessness; for every Creature has its Weak Side, and lies open to be Impos’d upon by Craft or Surprize. There’s an Infamy in the very Challenge of so Base and Timorous a Creature; but then to be Worsted by an Animal that’s the Scorn of all the Rest, is Shameful and Ridiculous to the Highest Degree.

Fab. CCCCXIX. A Cuckow and Little Birds.

A Cuckow was asking several Little Birds, what made them so shy of coming into her Company. They told her, that she was so like a Hawk, they did not care to have any thing to do with her.

The Moral.

A Wise Man Searches into the Nature of Things, and does not Govern himself by outward Semblances and Appearances.

REFLEXION.

There should a Regard be had in all our Actions and Councels, to the Nicety of the matter in Question. This is to tell us, that the very Appearances of Evil are to be Avoided, and all the Semblances of Danger to be well Examin’d and Consider’d. Why should not a Bird as well trust a Hawk that’s like a Cuckow, as trust a Cuckow that’s like a Hawk? Two Likes may be Mistaken, and a Man cannot be too wary where the Error is Mortal. There may be a Disguise ’tis true, in the one case, and a misapprehension in the other; but it is safer yet to stand upon our Guard against an Enemy in the Likeness of a Friend, then to Embrace any Man for a Friend in the Likeness of an Enemy. There’s no Snare like Credulity, when the Bait that’s laid for us is cover’d with the pretence of a Good Office. Neither are there any Impostures so Pernicious, as those that are put upon us by fair Resemblances. He that is not certain, (in such an Instance as this,) is in danger; and ’tis ill Venturing (Neck and all especially,) where a Body is not very sure, whether it be a Hawk or a Cuckow.

Fab. CCCCXX. Hungry Dogs and a Raw Hyde.

A Company of Hungry Curs Discover’d a Raw-Hide in the Bottom of a River, and laid their Heads together how to come at it: They Canvass’d the matter one way and t’other, and brought it to this Issue in the Conclusion, that the only way to get it, was to Drink their way to’t. So they fell to Lapping and Guzzling, ’till in one Word, they Burst themselves, and never the nearer.

The Moral.

He that sets his Heart upon Things Impossible, shall be sure to Lose his Longing.

REFLEXION.

Foolish Counsel is not only Vain and Unprofitable in General, but in many particular Cases most Destructive and Deadly. This Fable lays open the Folly, the Vanity, and the Danger of Pressing too eagerly for any thing that’s out of our Reach. We spend our Strength, and our Credit in clearing the way to’t, and it flies before us like a Shadow, which we may well Pursue, but can never Overtake. It is much the Humour of Chymists, and a Thousand other sorts of Projectors, that propose to themselves things utterly Impracticable, and consume their Lives in Hopeless and Fruitless Undertakings. This falls out for want of Computing upon the Proportion betwixt the Means, and the End; and for want of Examining and Considering what’s Practicable, and what not; and for want again of Measuring our Force and Capacity with our Designs.

Fab. CCCCXXI. An Ass and a Shadow.

One Hir’d an Ass in the Dog-Days to carry certain Bails of Goods to such a Town: ’Twas Extreme Hot, so that he lay down upon the way to Refresh himself under the Shade of the Ass. The Muletier Bad him Rise, and go on According to his Bargain. T’other said, that the Ass was His for the time he had Hir’d him. Right, says the other, You have Hir’d the Ass, but not the Shadow.

The Moral.

Work for the Lawyers.

REFLEXION.

This Fable Plays upon the Contentious Humour of People that go to Law for Trifles. De Asini Umbra, is effectually but this Fancy in an Adage. There needs no more to the setting of the whole World in a Flame, then a Ouarrelsom Plaintiff and Defendant, and a Brace of Chicaneurs to Blow the Coals. Wrangling is Instructed as an Art or a Science on the one side, and made use of as an Exercise on the other. Some People can no more Live without Law, then without Air, and they reckon it better Husbandry to spend a Thousand Pounds upon Counsel, to Defend a Trivial or an Unwarrantable Cause, then to part with one single Six Pence for the Payment of an Honest Debt. This Fable in short, is Moralliz’d in Westminster-Hall, Forty times over every Term.

Fab. CCCCXXII. A Country-Fellow and a River.

A Blockheaded Boy that was sent to Market with Butter and Cheese by the Good Old Woman his Mother, made a stop at a Quick River in the way, and laid himself down upon the Bank there, till it should run out. About Midnight, Home he goes to his Mother, with all his Market-Trade back again. Why how now Son, says She, what have we here to do! Why Mother, says this Booby, yonder’s a Scurvy River that has been running all this Day, and I staid till Just now for the Running of it out, and there ’tis Running still. The Lord help thee Son, says the Good Woman, for thy Head and mine will be laid many a Fair Day before this River runs Dry.

The Moral.

We are not to Expect that Nature will Change her Course, to Gratifie the Sickly Freak of every Fantastical Humour.

REFLEXION.

This is to shew us the Mischief and the Danger of Procrastination. The Sloathful and Irresolute slip their Opportunities in the very Expectation of them. Some People are so unreasonably Lazy, as to expect that Nature should rather go out of her Course and Way for their Sakes, then they put themselves to the trouble of Moving One Step out of their own way for the sake of Bus’ness and Nature. They’ll rather wait the Running of a River Dry, then take the Pains to look about for a Bridge or a Ford. They never consider that Nature is a Perpetual Motion, and that the Work of the Universe Circulates, without any Interval or Repose. Why should not the Sun sleep in the Firmament, or stand still to Attend our Affairs, as well as the Rivers stop their Courses to give us Passage?

Nay, the Madness of this Folly is yet more Impious then any thing else in’t; for what Man in his Right Wits can pretend to Wish, to Hope, or to wait for such Events, for the Gratifying of a Sickly Fancy, as would be enough to put People quite beside their Senses, if they should come to pass? So Ridiculous are Intemperate Curiosities, and Impotent Affections, that nothing less then Portents, and the Confounding of Nature in her Course and Causes, can Content us. How can any thing succeed well to People that are to be pleased with Nothing, unless the very Ball of the Universe may be Unravel’d, and the Laws of Providence Revers’d?

Fab. CCCCXXIII. A Bladder with Beans in’t.

In the Days of Adam, when (as the Story says,) the World had here and there a Shrew in’t, it fell to the Lot of a certain Philosopher to have one of those Smart Lasses to his Wife: The Evil Spirit was often up with her; and never had any Quack or Operator so many Receipts for the Tooth-Ach, or a Quartan Ague as he had Spells offer’d him for the Laying of it again: But when he found that neither Saying Much, Little, or Nothing: neither Choler nor Patience; neither Going nor Staying, would do any Good upon her, he Betook himself to a Bladder of Beans, and the shaking of that Bladder when the Fit was upon her, without One Syllable speaking, was at any time a Present Cure.

The Moral.

There’s no way like Raising one Devil to Cast out another; For there Must be no Answering of Noise, Folly and Reviling, in the Same Kind.

REFLEXION.

The Husband here in the Fable found no Charm to lay the Devil in a Petticoat, but the Ratling of a Bladder with Beans in’t; and I my self have known a Cat-Pipe us’d in the like Case with very good Success. There’s no Contending with an Impetuous Woman, by Authority or Reason. The Banging of it out in a Dispute at length, would be a loss both of Time and of Honour, and to no manner of purpose neither; for what should a Man do, Reasoning upon a Point where Reason does not so much as enter into the Question? So that it is the Best of a Brave Man’s Game to make a Drawn Battel on’t, where there’s no Possibility of a Victory. He in fine, that contemns a Shrew to the Degree of not Descending to Word it with her, does worse then Beat her. But we live in an Age, when Women, we hope, are better Instructed, then to fly in the Face of Religion it self, Law, and Nature: And these Desperate Encounters can never fall out betwixt a Man and his Wife, but where the Woman is lost to all sence of Shame, Prudence, Modesty, and Common Respect.

Fab. CCCCXXIV. A Fox and a Divining Cock.

A Fox that had spy’d out a Cock at Roost upon a Tree, and out of his Reach, fell all of a sudden into an Extravagant Fit of Kindness for him; and to Enlarge upon the Wonderful Esteem he had for the Faculties and good Graces of the Bird, but more particularly for his Skill in Divination, and the Foreknowledge of Things to come. Oh (says he) that I were but Worthy the Friendship of so great a Prophet! This Flattery brought the Cock down from the Tree into the very Mouth of the Fox, and so away he Trudges with him into the Woods; reflecting still as he went, upon the strange Force that Fair Words have upon vain Fools: For this Sot of a Cock (says he) to take himself for a Diviner, and yet not foresee at the same time, that if he fell into my Clutches, I should certainly make a Supper of him.

The Moral.

A fool that will Swallow Flattery, shal never want a Knave to give it him.

REFLEXION.

The Power of Flattery, where it is once Entertain’d, is well nigh Irresistible; for it carries the Countenance of Friendship and Respect; and Foolish Natures are easily wrought upon, and Perverted, under that Semblance. When Pride, Vanity, and Weakness of Judgment meet in the same Person, there’s no Resisting the Temptations of a fair Tongue, and consequently no avoiding the Secret and Malicious Designs of a False Heart. Here’s a Credulous Cock already prepar’d for the Entertainment of the Grossest of Flatteries: Nothing so Ridiculous, nothing so Impossible, but it goes down whole with him, for truth and Earnest: Nay, and the Folly is so Unacountable, and the Madness so Notorious, that in this Humour the most Spiteful Enemies we have in the World, pass upon us for Friends. The Cock takes the Councel of a Fox, and, like the Squirrel to the Rattle-Snake, puts himself into the Mouth of his Mortal Adversary, How many such Diviners do we meet with in our Daily Conversation, that lay their Lives, Fortunes, and Reputation at the Mercy of Parasites? How many Sots that Commence Philosophers upon the Credit of these Fawning Slaves! There’s no Fool to the great Fool that’s Fool’d by a little Fool; nor any thing so Scandalous as to be the Fool Of a Fool.

Fab. CCCCXXV. The Moon Begs a New Gown.

The Moon was in a heavy Twitter once, that her Cloaths never Fitted her: Wherefore, Pray Mother, says She, let the Taylor take Measure of me for a New-Gown. Alas Child, says the Mother, how is it possible to make any one Garment to Fit a Body that appears every Day in a several Shape?

The Moral.

’Tis the Humour of many People, to be perpetually Longing for something or other that’s not to be had.

REFLEXION.

This shews us the Vanity of Impracticable Propositions, and that there is no Measure to be taken of an Unsteddy Mind. There’s no Quieting of Unsettled Affections; no satisfying of Unbounded Desires; no possibility in Short, of either Fixing or Pleasing them. Let a Man but say what he would have, When, and how Much, or how Little and the Moon’s Taylor may take Measure of him; but to be Longing, for this thing to Day, and for that thing to Morrow; to Change Likings for Loathings, and to stand Wishing and Hankering at a venture, how is it possible for any Man to be at Rest in this Fluctuant Wandring Humor and Opinion? There’s no fitting of a Gown to a Body that’s of one Size when you take Measure of it, and of another when you come to put it on. ’Tis the very same Case with a Heart that is not True to it self. And upon the whole Matter, Men of this Levity are Condemn’d to the Misery of Living and Dying Uneasie.

Fab. CCCCXXVI. A Young Fellow about to Marry.

Marrying and Hanging, they say, go by Destiny, and the Blade had this Thought in his Head perhaps, that Desir’d the Pray’rs of the Congregation, when he was upon the very Point of Matrimony. His Friends gave him no Answer it seems, which put him upon Reasoning the Matter with them. Why, Gentlemen (says he) if there had been but a Snick-up in the Case, you’d have cry’d the Lord Bless ye Sir; and there is more Danger in Marrying I hope, then there is in Sneezing.

The Moral.

The Parson was much in the Right sure, that like the Hangman, ask’d all People Forgiveness that he was to Marry, before he did Execution upon them.

REFLEXION.

Many a Man runs a greater Risque in a Wife, then the World is aware of. The Whimsical Freak of this young Bantering Spark, would have made no Ill Ingredient into a Wise and Sober Man’s Litany, and though it looks like a Jest, there is somewhat in’t yet that may be worth a Thinking Man’s Earnest. But there will need no more then the Experience of those that have Try’d the Circumstances of this Blessed State, to Recommend the Morality of the Allusion, to the Thought of others, that are not yet Enter’d into the Matrimonial Noose.

Fab. CCCCXXVII. A Woman Trusted with a Secret.

There was a Good Woman (in the Days when Good Women were in Fashion) that valu’d her self wonderfully upon the Faculty of Retention, or (for the sake of Good Manners) upon the admirable Gift she had in the keeping of a Secret. The Toy took her Husband in the Head once, to make a Trial of her Virtue that way; and so he told her one Morning upon Waking, in the greatest Confidence imaginable, one of the strangest Things perhaps that ever was heard of, which had that Night befall’n him: But my Dear, says he, if you should Speak on’t again, I’m utterly Ruin’d; and Women are generally so Leaky, that in the whole Course of my Life, I have hardly met with any one of the Sex that could not hold her Breath longer then she could keep a Secret. Ah, my Life (says she) but your Woman I assure ye, is none of that Number? What? betray my Husband’s Secrets, I’d Die a Thousand Deaths first. No my Heart, if ever I do, may—— Her Husband at that word stopp’d her Mouth, for fear of some Bloody Imprecation, and so told her. Come Wife, says he, They that will Swear, will Lye, and so I’ll rather tell you upon Honour, Look ye here what has befall’n me: I have laid an Egg to Night; and so he took the Egg from his Back-side, and bad her feel on’t; but if this should ever come to Light now, People would say that I was Hen-Trod, and the Disgrace of it would make me a Scandal to Mankind. This Secret lay Burning in the Breast of the Poor Woman, and kept her Waking, till she had Day-light enough to Rise by; and then softly out of the Bed she steals, for fear of Waking her Husband, and so away Post-hast to a Gossipping Neighbour of her Acquaintance; Hurries her out of her Bed; Charms and Swears her to Privacy; and then out comes the Secret, That her Husband had laid Two Eggs that very Night. This Confident had another Confident; and there ’twas Three Eggs. The next made it Four; and so it went on (increasing still,) from one Gossip to another, till by Six a Clock in the Afternoon they had made it Forty Eggs.

The Moral.

Three may Keep Counsel when Two are away.

REFLEXION.

There’s no such way of Publishing or Proclaiming any thing, as by Enjoining a Woman under the Seal of Confession to keep it Secret. They that are Curious to know forbidden Secrets, are as Frank of Telling them again, and of Enlarging them: So that whoever shews me a very Inquisitive Body, I’ll shew him a Blab, and one that shall make a Privacy as Publick as a Proclamation. But if your Wife will have it so, and calls for a Categorical Answer, [Will ye tell me, or will ye not?] If you tell the Secret, ’tis odds but in Twelve Hours it shall be Town-Talk, and be made Thirteen times more then ’tis. If you refuse to tell it, there’s no enduring the Exclamations, for want of Trust and Confidence, and the Unaccountable Jealousies that Follow upon’t. For there are a sort of People that never consider the many separate Privacies of Trust and Honour, that a Husband cannot Honestly Communicate to a Wife, nor a Wife to a Husband: That is to say, where there’s a Third Party or Matter concern’d, apart from any thing in the Question that is Conjugal betwixt them.

He that can doubt of the Reason and the Necessity of this Guard and Caution, must be much a Stranger to the History of the Great Rebellion under Charles the First of Blessed Memory: when so many State-Intrigues pass’d through the Hands of Women, who are without Dispute the best of Spies, and the most proper Instruments for Discovery and Intelligence: Especially if they be Women of Address, Wit and Beauty; for the very Sex has certain Priviledges upon the point of a Cavalier Gallantry and Good Breeding, to cover them from the Strictnesses of Search and Examination, that other Agents are commonly Subjected to.

Now to Reconcile a seeming Contradiction here, in making Women at the same time to be both Fit and Unfit to be Trusted; this Fable does not strike so much at the Futility of Women in General, as at the Incontinent Levity of a Prying Inquisitive Humour; and it falls in over and above, by way of a Short and Pertinent Digression, to shew that State-Matters are Morally Excepted out of the Articles of Marriage.

Fab. CCCCXXVIII. A Woman and Thrushes.

In the Days of Yore, when Men and their Wives agreed like Dog and Cat in a House together, the Good Man had been a Shooting it seems, and brought his Dame Home a Dozen of Black-Birds with him. Come, Sweet Heart, says he, Prithee let’s have these Black-Birds to Supper. Black-Birds? says she, the Lord Bless us, why certainly the Man’s a Changeling. Come, come, you shall have your Thrushes for Supper then. Well, says he, but I tell you again, I’ll have these Black-Birds to Supper. That’s well, quoth the Woman, and I tell you Again and Again, that you shall have these Thrushes for Supper. Prithee my Dear, says the Man, If I say they are Black-Birds, let ’em be Black-Birds: I’ll allow you to think they may be Thrushes, but don’t contradict me. Prithee my Dear, says she, If I have a Fool to my Husband, is my Husband’s Wife bound to be a Fool for Company? Hussy, don’t Provoke me, says the Man, but let the Black-Birds be Dress’d, and do as I bid ye; Obey your Husband, ye’ad best. Lifelikins, says she, I know no more Reason I have to Obey my Husband, then my Husband has to Obey me; and Sirrah in the Teeth of ye, since ye are Hussying of me, no other Woman would have the Patience to be Abus’d thus. From these Family-Words they fell to Blows, and there was the Wig in one Corner, and the Head-Gear in another: upon the Question whether they were Black-Birds or Thrushes. When the Bickering was over, they went very comfortably to Bed together, and so rubb’d on in a kind of a Catterwalling Life, till just that day Twelve Month: And then came the History of the Black-Birds and the Thrushes upon the Carpet again. Ah ye Beast you, says the Woman, How did you beat your poor Wife Sirrah, this Day Twelve Month about those Damn’d Thrushes! Black-Birds ye Jade, says the One; Thrushes ye Rogue, says t’other: And so in one word, they play’d the same Farce over again; insomuch, that for the time they Liv’d together, the Woman had an Anniversary Beating, as duly as the day of the Month came about every Year after.

The Moral.

REFLEXION.

’Tis a Folly next to Madness for Women to be trying Masteries with their Husbands; to say nothing of the Scandal they bring upon themselves and their Families, by such a forfeiture of Honour, Discretion, Modesty, and Good Manners. Nay, and ’tis well too, if from some Men, and upon some Provocations, they scape the Discipline of a good Drubbing into the Bargain.

There are divers Important Doctrines couch’d under this Fable; First, the insuperable Obstinacy of a violent Woman. Secondly, the Scandal of the Example, as well as the Folly of the Competition. Thirdly, The Natural Issue of the Controversie, where the weakest must expect to goe to the Wall. The World, Heaven be thanked, does not want Instances to illustrate this Figure. So that there will be less need of amplifying upon it. We are not here upon the Philosophy of the Freak, but upon the Shameful Lewdness of the Practice. Sirrah, (says a Woman to a Friend of mine, that took her off from beating her Husband,) I’m a Wor’stershire Woman, and I wont be Abus’d. Juvenal’s Homo sum, says all in Two Words. When the Devil of this Passion is rais’d, there’s no Abiding the Storm, and there’s no Laying on’t. One such Womans Tongue (says the Poet) is beyond all the Pans and Kettles in the Country, to bring the Moon out of an Ecclipse. Keep up the Dialogue and she Kills you; let it fall, and you Kill her. This was the very Case of a Certain Divine that Chid a Woman for Striking and Reviling her Husband. She left her Husband immediately, and fell upon the Jacket of the Parson, who stood Gaping at her a full Hour and a Half together, without one word of Reply. The Passion put her at last into Fits, and the first word she said upon coming to her self again, was no more then this, Ah Sir, says she, Ever while you live, Answer a Woman.

To come now to the Doctrine that’s wrapt up in the Example. ’Tis Scandalous with a Respect to the Ordinances both of God and Man; ’tis a high Offence to common Decency in regard of the Sex, the Duty, and the Relation: And then ’tis most abominably Indiscreet, because if the Man be not a Coxcomb, the Woman is sure to be worsted; and if he be one, ’tis as good as a Noverint Universi, that there’s a Fool and a Shrew well met. The word Yoak-Fellow goes a great way with a Thrush-Woman. And so does the Text, that says, They shall be both One Flesh. From whence she infers an Equality at least, if not a Right of Dominion; for the Rib ought to have some Preference above the Clay.

This is not to be taken for a General Character of Women, but for a Reproof only of some Eager-Spirited Gypsies of the Sex; and for the Honour also of those Angelical Perfections, which render them both the Joy and the Blessing of Mankind, when they live Suitably in all Points to the Intent of their Creation.

Fab. CCCCXXIX. Two Soldiers go Halves.

The Humour took Two Country Fellows in the Head once to turn Soldiers, and so away they went to try the Chance of War, upon an Agreement to go Halves in the Adventure. The One fell Sick upon the way; t’other went forward to the Army, where he got himself both Money and Credit. At his Return a while after, he found his Friend upon the Mending Hand, and told him how and how, which he was Extremely Glad to hear, because of the Snip that he himself Expected upon the Dividend. As they were Talking of this and that by the By; he took his time to put in a hint about Sharing the Booty according to their Agreement. That’s all the Reason in the World, says t’other; but then there are other things to be divided too, which I han’t told you of, and when we come to reckon, we had e’en as good make one work on’t, and count all together. This, says t’other to himself, must be something of Plate, Jewels or Precious Plunder; and so he came bluntly to the Question, what it was that his Camrade had gotten besides? Why look ye, says the Soldier, (shewing him his Naked Body,) Here are Bruises, Wounds, Maims and Scars, that are to be divided as well as the Money. Nay, says the other, you may e’en keep all y’ve got to your own use then; for I’ll have no dividing upon those Terms.

The Moral.

Part’ners must go Half-Profit, Half-Loss, ’tis no Bargain else.

REFLEXION.

’Tis Wisdom not to give more for a Thing then ’tis worth; and in Common Equity, Part’ners should take the Good and the Bad, one with another, or let both alone. People should not enter Hand over Head into Part’nerships or Adventures, either in War or in Business; they should consider that the Blows and the Scars are to be divided, as well as the Pistols and the Ducats, and the Loss as well as the Profit. The Two Parties are as good as Man and Wife, where the Bargain is for Better for Worse. Nay, there’s Brawling as well as Kissing in the very State of Matrimony it self; and when People come to be Us’d to both at Once, let them set one against the other, and then put the Gain in their Eyes. If Life be a Journey, Men must expect Foul Way as well as Fair, and content themselves to Travel in all Weathers, and through all Difficulties; which is no more then the same Mixture that we meet with in all our Undertakings: Wherefore let no Man Brag of his Bargain, till he has cast up his Account, and set the Scars against the Booty.

Fab. CCCCXXX. A Lion and a Man.

Among other good Counsels that an Old Experienc’d Lion gave to his Whelp, this was One; That he should never Contend with a Man; for says he, if ever you do, you’ll be worsted. The Little Lion gave his Father the Hearing, and kept the Advice in his Thought, but it never went near his Heart. When he came to be grown up afterward, and in the Flower of his Strength and Vigour, About and About he Ranges to look for a Man to Grapple with: In his Ramble he chances to spy a Yoak of Oxen; so up to ’em he goes presently; Hark ye Friends, says he, are you MEN? They told him No; but their Master was a Man. Upon leaving the Oxen, he went to a Horse that he saw Bridled, and Ty’d to a Tree, and ask’d him the same Question; No, says the Horse, I am no Man my Self, but he that Bridled and Sadled me, and ty’d me up here, He’s a Man. He goes after this to one that was cleaving of Blocks. D’ye hear, says the Lion, You seem to be a Man. And a Man I am, says the Fellow. That’s well, quoth the Lion, and dare you Fight with Me? Yes, says the Man, I dare Fight with ye: Why I can Tear all these Blocks to pieces ye see. Put your Feet now into this Gap, where you see an Iron Thing there, and try what you can do. The Lion presently put his Claws into the Gaping of the Wood, and with one Lusty Pluck, made it give way, and out drops the Wedge, the Wood immediately closing upon’t; and there was the Lion caught by the Toes. The Woodman presently upon this, Raises the Country; and the Lion finding what a Streight he was in, gave one Hearty Twitch, and got his Feet out of the Trap, but left his Claws behind him. So away he goes back to his Father, all Lame and Bloody, with this Confession in his Mouth; Alas, my Dear Father, says he, This had never been, if I had follow’d your Advice.

The Moral.

Disobedience to Parents is against the Laws of Nature and of Nations, Common Justice, Prudence and Good Manners; and the Vengeance of Heaven, Sooner or Later, Treads upon the Heels on’t.

REFLEXION.

People are not to Reason upon Obedience to Parents, and Submission to Governors, provided there be nothing in the Command, or in the Imposition that is simply Evil. Reason in Man, does abundantly supply the Defect of other Faculties wherein we are inferior to Beasts; and what we cannot compass by Force, we bring about by Stratagem. The Intent of this Fable is to set forth the Excellency of Man above all Creatures upon the Earth; and to shew, that he is Lord and Ruler over all the rest; their Teeth, Claws, Stings, and other means of Offence, notwithstanding. The young Lion himself is Charg’d by his Sire not to Contend with him; so that consequently no Creature of less Force is upon any Terms to Encounter him. Not but that there are some special Instances to the contrary, in Exception to the General Rule. The Moralist makes the Event to confirm the Reason, and to support the Authority of the Lions Counsel. It may pass likewise in some sort, for a Punishment of Disobedience to a Parent; but there’s the Voice of Providence and Wisdom in’t as well as the Voice of a Father; which is intimated in shewing us, that the Yoak of Oxen, and the Horse that stood Bridled and Sadled, had a Man still to their Master.

Fab. CCCCXXXI. A Hare and a Sparrow.

A Sparrow happen’d to take a Bush just as an Eagle made a Stoop at a Hare; and when she had got her in the Foot, Poor Wat cry’d out for Help. Well, (says the Sparrow) and why don’t ye Run for’t now? I thought your Footmanship would have Sav’d ye. In this very Moment comes a Hawk and whips away the Sparrow; which gave the Dying Hare this Consolation in her last Distress, that she saw her Insolent Enemy overtaken with a just Vengeance, and that the Hard-Hearted Creature that had no Pity for another, could obtain none for her self neither, when she stood most in need on’t.

The Moral.

’Tis with Men and Governments, as it is with Birds and Beasts. The Weaker are a Prey to the stronger, and so one under another, through the whole Scale of the Creation. We ought therefore to have a Fellow-Feeling of one anothers Afflictions; for no Body knows whose turn may be next.

REFLEXION.

Here’s a Just Judgment upon Ill Nature; wherefore let no Man make Sport with the Miserable, that is in danger to be Miserable himself, as Every Man may be; and in Truth every Man deserves so to be, that has no Tenderness for his Neighbour. It is a high Degree of Inhumanity not to have a Fellow feeling of the Misfortune of my Brother; but to take Pleasure in my Neighbour’s Misery, and to make Merry with it, is not only a Brutal, but a Diabolical Barbarity and Folly.

Fab. CCCCXXXII. A Fox and a Cock.

A Hungry Fox that had got a Cock in his Eye, and could not tell how to come at him; cast himself at his Length upon the Ground, and there he lay winking and pinking as if he had Sore Eyes. Ah, (says he to the Cock) I have gotten a Thorn here, with Creeping through a Hedge t’other Day; ’twould be the greatest Charity in the World, if you would but help me out with it. Why truly, says the Cock, I am no Oculist, and if I should go to Help one Eye, and put out T’other with my Spur, we should have but an Untoward Business on’t; but if you are not in very great Hast, I can fly Home in a Trice, and bring ye One that shall certainly Cure ye. The Fox finding ’twas all but Banter: Well, (says he,) ’tis no Great Matter then; for the more Physicians, the more Danger, they say.

The Moral.

Shuffling and Fencing, is in many Cases both Allowable and Necessary: Especially where Craft is to be Encounter’d with Craft.

REFLEXION.

There’s no Trusting to a Known Hypocrite and an Enemy Both in One, and therefore the Cock was too Crafty for the Fox here, and kept himself upon his Guard. There is this Mischief in False Dealing, that it forces People to be Hard Natur’d and Suspicious in their own Defence; for Credulity is Mortal. Not but that many Men are Impos’d upon to their Ruin by a Mistaken Charity and Compassion. It is a Nice Point however, for a Man to take upon him to Assign the many and Various Cases that occur upon this Topick, and so as to allot them their Just and Proper Limits, with such a Regard to Good Nature and Discretion, as neither to be wanting to Our Selves, nor to Others: But yet the Possible Danger of Relieving a Miserable Person, for fear he should be a Counterfeit, will not Excuse a Man from doing Acts of Humanity, notwithstanding that Pretence. But there is a Double Hazzard in’t, for we may Miscarry either by too Little Caution One way, or by too much Presumption the other. Now the Smelling out of a Trick, and the Defeating of it, does not come so Home, as Repaying of it in kind; for the Contempt in the manner of doing it, gives a kind of Sting to the Disappointment. But the Fox however has the Grace of other Bantering Buffons: That is to say, he is never to be put out of Countenance; and when he finds himself Pinch’d, he shifts it off with a Droll.

Fab. CCCCXXXIII. Joy and Sorrow are near A-kin.

There pass’d a great many Bitter Words once upon a time betwixt Joy and Sorrow; insomuch that they Mov’d the Court upon it by Consent, and made a Chancery Cause on’t. Upon a Fair and a Full Hearing, the Judge found some colour of Equity on Both sides, and would fain have made ’em Friends again. You should consider, says he, how near y’are a-kin, and what a Scandal ’tis, to have these Heats and Squabbles among Relations: But all this went in at One Ear, and out at T’other: So that when he saw there was no Good to be done, he pass’d this Sentence upon them, That since they would not go Hand in Hand Amicably of Themselves, they should be Link’d together in a Chain; and Each of them in his Turn should be perpetually Treading upon the Heel of the Other; and not a Pin Matter then which went Foremost.

The Moral.

No Man is to Presume in Prosperity, or to Despair in Adversity; for Good and Ill Fortune do as naturally succeed one another, as Day and Night.

REFLEXION.

It is the lot of Mankind to be happy and Miserable by turns. The Wisdom of Nature will have it so; and it is exceedingly for our Advantage that so it should be. There’s nothing Pure under the Heavens, and the Rule holds in the Chances of Life, as well as in the Elements: Beside that, such an Abstracted Simplicity, (if any such thing there were,) would be neither Nourishing to us, nor Profitable. By the Meditation of this Mixture, we have the Comfort of Hope to support us in our Distresses, and the Apprehensions of a Change, to keep a Check upon us in the very Huff of our Greatness and Glory: So that by this Vicissitude of Good and Evil, we are kept steady in our Philosophy, and in our Religion. The one Minds us of God’s Omnipotence and Justice; the Other of his Goodness and Mercy: The One tells us, that there’s No Trusting to our own Strength; the Other Preaches Faith and Resignation in the prospect of an Over-ruling Providence that takes Care of us. What is it but Sickness that gives us a Taste of Health? Bondage the Relish of Liberty? And what but the Experience of Want that Enhances the Value of Plenty? That which we call Ease is only an Indolency or a Freedom from Pain; and there’s no such thing as Felicity or Misery, but by the Comparison. ’Tis very true that Hopes and Fears are the Snares of Life in some Respects; but they are the Relief of it in others. Now for fear of the worst however on either hand, every Man has it in his own Power by the Force of Natural Reason, to Master the Temptation of falling either into Presumption or Despair.

Fab. CCCCXXXIV. The Owl and the Sun.

There was a Pinking Owl once upon a very Bright and a Glorious Morning, that sate Sputtering at the Sun, and ask’d him what he meant to stand Staring her in the Eyes at that Rate. Well, says the Sun, but if your Eyes will not bear the Light, what’s your Quarrel to my Beams that Shed it? Do you think it a Reasonable Thing that the whole World should be Depriv’d of the Greatest Blessing in Nature, to Gratifie the Folly, the Arrogance and the Infirmity of One Sot?

The Moral.

There is nothing so Excellent, or so Faultless, but Envy and Detraction will find somewhat to say against it.

REFLEXION.

It is no more in the Power of Calumny and Envy to Blast the Dignity of a Wise and of an Honest Man, then it was in the Power of the Blear-Ey’d Owl here, to cast a Scandal upon the Glory and Greatness of the Sun. The Principles of Good and Evil are as Firm, as the Foundations of the Earth, and never had any Man Living the Face yet to make an Open Profession of Wickedness in its own Name. Not but that Men of Vicious Lives and Conversations, have found out ways of Imposing their Corruptions and Infirmities upon the World for Virtues, under false Semblances and Colours. But there’s no Man all this while, that sets up for a Knave or a Coxcomb in Direct Terms. Now the Mystery of the Cheat lies in the Artificial Disguising of One thing for Another, and in making Evil pass for Good, and Good for Evil: As every Virtue has its Bordering Vice, and every Vice its Bordering Virtue. So that the Pretence is fair still, let the Practice be never so Foul, and Men will be trying to bring down the Rule to the Error, where they cannot Reconcile the Error to the Rule. When People have once Inverted the Measures of Moral Equity, and Natural Reason, and brought the Question of Right or Wrong, so far as in them lies, to a False Standard, there follows in course, an Envious Malevolence upon the Opposition. As for Example; A Fool Naturally Hates a Philosopher: A Debauchee does as Naturally Hate a Man of good Government and Moderation. A Man of Conscience and Religion is as much an Eye-Sore to a Profligate Atheist: And a Mercenary Knight of the Post has just as much Kindness for a Man of Probity and Virtue. To Conclude the Moral, There are of these Owls in Palaces and Assemblies, as well as in Barns and Groves; but a Man of Honour and Integrity Shines on, like the Sun in the Firmament, Unconcern’d, and continues his Course.

Fab. CCCCXXXV. Jupiter and a Farmer.

Jupiter had a Farm a long time upon his hand, for want of a Tenant to come up to his Price, ’till a Bold Fellow at last was content to Take it, upon Condition that he himself might have the Ordering of the Air and the Seasons, as he thought fit. So Jupiter Covenanted with him, that it should be Hot or Cold, Wet or Dry, Calm or Windy, as the Tenant should Direct. In Conclusion, this Man had effectually a Climate of his own, that his very next Neighbours felt nothing of: And it was well they did not; for when they had a Plentiful Harvest and Vintage, the Farmer himself had hardly any Corn or Grass upon his Ground. He took other Measures the Year following, which (as it fell out) prov’d the more Unkindly of the Two. He held on however, till he was upon the very Point of Breaking; and when it came to that once, he was e’en glad to Petition Jupiter to Release him of his Bargain; for he was now Convinc’d that Providence knows Better what is good for us, then we know what is good for our Selves.

The Moral.

We should do well to make it One Petition in our Litany, that in many Cases Heaven would be so Gracious to us, as not to hear our Prayers; for we are otherwise in Danger to be undone by our own wish.

REFLEXION.

What work would Malevolents and Malecontents make in the World, if they might but have the Governing of it; and if Heaven were not more Mercifull to us, then to grant us our Wishes? Wherefore there must be no Prescribing of Rules to the Divine Wisdom. What a Confusion would it bring upon Mankind, if all those People that are Unsatisfied with the Motions, Revolutions and Influences of the Celestial Orbs; the Course of the Seasons, and the Providential Distribution of Heats and Colds, Rain, Frosts and Sun shine, might be Allow’d to take the Government into their own Hands? There needs nothing more to Convince us of the Vanity, the Malice and the Folly of these Intermedlers with the Works and Orders of an Over-ruling Power; and yet we must be making Articles and Conditions forsooth, in Matters where we have neither Authority nor Skill: And where, in spite of our Hearts, we must Submit, as in Duty and Reverence we are obliged to Resign, and to Obey.

Fab. CCCCXXXVI. A Wolf turns Religious.

A Wolf that was past Labour, had the Wit in his Old Age, yet to make the best of a bad Game: He borrows a Habit, and so about he goes Begging a Charity from Door to Door under the Disguise of a Pilgrim: And for ought we know, this may be one of the Pilgrims that were to have Landed at Milford Haven, in the Year 1677/8. One of his Relations that had the Fortune to Meet him in this Holy Garb and Pretence, took him up Roundly, for stooping so much below the Dignity of his Family and Profession. Why what would you have me do? says the Pilgrim Wolf; My Teeth and my Heels are gone, so that I can neither Run, nor Worry, and I must either Cant, and turn Religious, or Starve.

The Moral.

When People can live no longer by downright Rapine and Villany, for want of Strength, Means, or Ability to go on at the Old Rate, ’tis a common thing for ’em to Drive on the Old Trade still, under a Semblance of Religion and Virtue. So that Impotency goes a great way toward the Conversion of an Old Sinner.

REFLEXION.

A Proselyte-Wolf is a very Saint yet to a Proselyte-Christian, that makes his Belly his God, and Renounces his Faith for Bread. Now over and above the Lively Image of the Practice of the World in this Wonderfull Conversion, ’tis Pleasant enough to consider how Gravely the New-Convert is taken up by one of his Fellow Wolves, for bringing such a Disgrace upon his Character and Function, as to Submit to the Picking up of a Livelyhood in that Strolling way of Canting and Begging; which in the Moral, gives us to Understand, that the Hypocrite is the Fouler and the Baser Beast of the Two. The Doctrin of this Fable, if the Matter were well Examin’d, would more or less run through the whole Race of Mankind; for Repentance and a New Life, is naturally the Discourse and Retreat of Old Sinners, when they find they can live by Barefac’d Wickedness no longer: What a Hideous Roll would it make, if the Names of all the People that are Pointed at under this Emblem of the Pilgrim-Wolf were written in their Foreheads!

Fab. CCCCXXXVII. The Asses Skin.

A Miserable Ass that was ready to sink under Blows and Burdens, call’d upon Death to Deliver him from that Intolerable Oppression. Death was within Hearing it seems, and took him at his Word; but told him withal for his Comfort, that whereas other Creatures end their Misfortunes and their Lives together, You must not expect that it will be so with you; for (says Death,) they’l make Drums of your Skin, when your Carcass shall be Carrion, and never leave Drubbing of ye so long as one Piece will hold to another.

The Moral.

Some People are Miserable beyond the Relief even of Death it self: That is to say, there are Men that lead Restless Lives in this World, under a Dreadful Apprehension at the same time, of being more Wretched in the next.

REFLEXION.

This Moral does not lye so square, as to bear any great Weight upon’t. ’Tis true, that our Fame and Memory shall out-live our Bodies; and that in that sense a Man may be said to be Miserable after his Death; even in a Pagan way of Understanding it, as well as with a Regard to the Immortality of the Soul in a Christian Application. It holds forth to us the Pertinacy of Ill Fortune, in Pursuing some People into their very Graves: But they that are born to a Fatality of Endless Misfortunes, must submit to go thorough with them.

Fab. CCCCXXXVIII. A Fool and a Hot Iron.

A Smith threw down a Horse-Shoe in his Shop that was but just come out of the Fire. A Fool took it up; it burnt his Fingers, and he cast it down again. Why ye Blockhead you says the Workman, could not you have try’d whether ’twas Hot or no before you meddled with it? How try? says the Fool. Why a Hot Iron would have Hiss’d if you had but Spit upon’t. The Fool carry’d this Philosophy away with him, and took an Occasion afterward to Spit in his Porridge, to try if they’d Hiss. They did not Hiss it seems, and so he Guttled ’em up, and Scalt his Chops. Well says one that was by, and could not you have stay’d till they were cold? Why, I thought they had been Cold, says the Fool. You might have known they were Hot, says t’other, by their Smoaking. The Fool carried this in his mind too; and going a while after to a Spring-Head to quench his Thirst, he fancy’d that the Fountain Smoak’d too; and there he staid ’till he was almost Choaked, for fear of Burning his Chops once again.

The Moral.

This very Innocent may serve to Teach Wise Men Caution, that they Examine Matters before they pass a Judgment upon them; for otherwise, we live at a kind of Hap-Hazzard, and without any Insight into Causes and Effects.

REFLEXION.

’Tis a Great Folly not to Distinguish betwixt things Extremely Differing in their Qualities and Nature; ’tis no wonder to find one Simplicity of this Kind follow’d with more; for Weak Men will be still applying the last Rule to the next Case, for want of Reasoning and Connecting upon the whole. ’Tis an Odd thing now, that a Mountebank should get Reputation by the same Error that makes an Idiot yet more Ridiculous; that is to say, by Prescribing the same Remedy to all Diseases. There was Just such another Innocent as this, in my Father’s Family: He did the Course Work in the Kitchen, and was bid at his first Coming to take off the Range, and let down the Cynders before he went to Bed. The poor Silly Wretch laid Hands of the Irons, when they were next to Red Hot yet, and they stuck to his Fingers. A Vengeance on ye, says he, Y’are as warm as Wool; and so shook ’em off again. Now this Innocent, I dare Answer for him, had never read Camerarius, so that he did not Burn his Fingers by that Copy.

Fab. CCCCXXXIX. A Cock and Horses.

A Cock was got into a Stable, and there was he Nestling in the Straw among the Horses; and still as the Fit took ’em they’d be Stamping and Flinging, and laying about ’em with their Heels. So the Cock very gravely Admonish’d them; Pray, my Good Friends, let us have a Care, says he, that we don’t Tread upon One Another.

The Moral.

Unequal Conversations are Dangerous and Inconvenient to the Weaker Side in many Respects, whether it be in Regard of Quality, Fortune, or the like; where the weight of the One, sinks the Other: And no matter whether we Embark out of Vanity or Folly; for ’tis Hazzardous both ways.

REFLEXION.

So says many a Vain Fool in the World, as this Cock does in the Like Case, and Exposes himself to Scorn, as well as Destruction. ’Tis a necessary Point of Wisdom for People to sort themselves with fit Company, and to make a Right Judgment of their Conversation. I do not mean in the matter of Morals only, where Vicious and Ill Habits are Contagious; but there should a Regard be had to the very Size, Quality and Degree of the Men that we Frequent: For where the Disproportion is very great, a Man may be Ruin’d without Malice, and Crush’d to Pieces by the Weight even of one that has a Kindness for him. Now where we Misjudge the Matter, a Miscarriage draws Pity after it, but when we are Transported by Pride and Vanity into so Dangerous an Affectation, our Ruin lies at our own Door.

Fab. CCCCXL. A Gard’ner and a Mole.

A Gard’ner took a Mole in his Grounds, and the Question was, whether he should put her to Death or no. The Mole Pleaded that she was one of his Family, and Digg’d his Garden for Nothing: Nay, she Insisted upon’t, what Pity ’twas to Destroy a Creature that had so smooth a Skin, and Twenty other Little Pretences. Come, come, says the Gard’ner, I am not to be Fool’d with a Parcel of Fair Words: You have nothing for Digging ’tis True; but pray who set you at Work? Is it for my Service d’ye think, to have my Plants and my Herbs torn up by the Roots? and what’s your business at last, but by doing all you can for the filling of your own Belly, to leave me nothing to Eat?

Fab. CCCCXLI. A Man and a Weazle.

There was a Weazle taken in a Trap, and whether she should Dye or not, was the Point: The Master of the House Charg’d her with heavy Misdemeanors, and the Poor Vermin stood much upon her Innocence and Merit. Why says she, I keep your House Clear of Mice. Well says the Man, but you do’t for your Own sake, not for Mine. What work would they make in the Pantry and the Larder, (says she) if it were not for me? And in the mean time (says the Master of House) You your Self devour the same things that they would have Eaten, Mice and All: But you would fain sham it upon me, that you do me a Service, when in Truth you do me an Injury; and therefore you deserve a double Death; First, For the Fault it self, and then for the Justification of it.

The Moral of the Two Fables above.

’Tis according to the Course of those Kind Offices in the World, which we call Friendship, to do one another Good for our Own Sakes.

REFLEXION.

There’s nothing Commoner in this World then the Case of the Mole here and the Weazle: That is to say, the Case of the People that Value themselves mightily upon Merit; when in the mean time they do only their own Business. What Virtue is it for me to do another Man good by Chance; or where’s the Obligation of doing it for my own Profit? ’Tis the Will of a Man that qualifies the Action. A Body may do me Good, and yet Deserve to be Punish’d for’t. He may save my Life, for the purpose, with an Intention to take it away. There is however some Regard to be had to the very Instrument that Providence makes use of for our Advantage. But this is out of a Respect to the Providence, not to the Man: And we are not yet come up to the Force of the Fable neither; for many People have the Confidence to Plead Merit, when Effectually they do us Mischief.

Fab. CCCCXLII. A Woman, Cat and Mice.

A Good Woman that was willing to keep her Cheeses from the Mice, thought to mend the matter by getting her a Cat. Now Puss Answer’d the Womans Intent and Expectation, in keeping the Mice from Nibbling the Cheeses; but she her self at the same time devour’d the Mice, Cheese and all.

The Moral.

This has been our Case within the Memory of Man: There were a matter of Half a Dozen Little Roguy Political Mice lay Nibbling at our Liberties and Properties, and all Peoples Mouths Open’d for the Providing of some 500 Cats to Destroy them. The end on’t was this, they Kill’d the Vermine; but then they Gobbled up Priviledges and All: And was not the World well Amended?

REFLEXION.

The Present State of Things is best, unless we may be very well Assur’d that the Danger of the Remedy is not Greater then that of the Disease: Nay, it so falls out many times, that a Thing may be Good for the Distemper, and yet Mortal to the Patient: Wherefore Men should never Trouble their Heads about Innovations for slight Matters, without a strict Calculation, upon the Profit or Loss of the Exchange. The Fancy of the Cat and Mice, points very naturally at the Case of Monarchy and Episcopacy in the Days of King Charles the First. There were Grievances of all sorts Complain’d of, and Popular Disputes Rais’d about Prerogative and Arbitrary Power, in the Pretended Favour of Liberty and Property. Every thing was amiss they Cry’d, and nothing would serve the Turn but a General Reformation; and what was the Issue at last, but the Cats that should have Kill’d the Mice, Eat up, as the Fable says, Mice, Cheese and All.

Fab. CCCCXLIII. A Man in Tears for the Loss of his Wife.

Never had any Man such a Loss in a Woman certainly as I have had! Cries a Widdower in the Flush of his Extravagancies for a Dead Wife: Never so dear a Creature! Never so Miserable a Wretch! And so he runs Raving on, how he should abhor the Sex it Self now she is gone. As he was in the Transport of his Lamentations, and about half thorough the Farce, he started all on a sudden, and call’d out to the Woman about the Body, (who it seems, had gotten the best Piece of Linnen in the House for a Winding Sheet;) Pray, says he, will you take another Cloth for the Present, and let this be laid by for my next Wife, if it should be the Lords will to have me Bury another. This set the Company a Laughing, for all their Sorrow, to see the Good Man so soon brought to his Wits again.

The Moral.

Funeral Tears are but Matter of Form; and it is a Distinguishing Mark of Hypocrisie, to take upon us to be Kind as well as to be Righteous, beyond Measure. But Time and Nature will bolt out the Truth of Things, through all Disguises.

REFLEXION.

It is Morally Impossible for an Hypocrite to keep himself long upon his Guard; for the Force is Unnatural, and the least Slip or Surprise, either a Word, Look, or Action, lays him open through his Disguise. But to Sum up the Case in short: what with the Hazzards of Conjugal Disagreement, Ungracious Children; None at all; or the Loss of them; with a Hundred other Uneasy Circumstances incident to that Condition, Happy is the Couple that in a Marry’d State have the Good Fortune to make a Saving Game on’t.

Fab. CCCCXLIV. A Rich Man that would be no Richer.

There was a Huge Rich Man, that could neither Eat nor Sleep for fear of Losing his Mony: The whole Entertainment of his Life was Vision and Phantome; Thieves, Earthquakes, Inundation; nothing in short came amiss to him, that was Possible, Dangerous, and Terrible. In this Torment of a Restless Imagination, he call’d a Beggar to him, told him his Case; and now says he, I must send you presently of an Erand to Fortune. Go your ways to her immediately, (you’ll find her in Japan,) and desire her from me, that for the future she’ll never Trouble her self further upon any Accompt of mine; for I am absolutely resolv’d never to touch Penny of her Mony more. Be gone this very Moment and I’ll give you a Hundred Crowns for your Pains. Why truly Sir, says the Poor Fellow, ’tis a great way; but yet (after a little Humming and Hawing upon’t,) he agreed to undertake the Jobb. Do so then, says the Rich Chuff, and you shall have Ninety Crowns down upon the Nail. The Poor Creature stuck a while upon the other Ten that he promis’d; but at last came to his Price, and for Ninety he was to go. Well then, says the Miserable Churl, A Bargain’s a Bargain, and Fourscore Crowns you shall certainly have. At this Rate he went Chaffering on, ’till by Bating Ten and Ten still upon every New Demand, the Man was e’en fain to Content himself with Ten Crowns at last for the whole Journey. And so away he Goes to Fortune; finds her out, and delivers his Errand: And says he, since that Rich Man will have no more, pray be so good as to give Me that am ready to Starve, what you would otherwise have given to a Man that does not want it. No, says Fortune, as for his Part, I am Resolv’d to Plague him with thrice as much more as he has already, in spite of his very Teeth; and then for your part, I’ll e’en keep ye in a Starving Condition as I found ye, to the last Minute of your Life, and make Good the Old Saying to ye; That he that’s Born under a Three-Penny Planet, shall never be worth a Groat. ’Tis true, y’ave gotten Ten Crowns in Hand, and you should never have had that neither, if I had not been Fast Asleep when they were Deliver’d ye.

The Moral.

Not One Man of a Thousand knows his own Mind. Some Men shall be Rich in spite of their Teeth. And then, All the Carking and Caring in the World, shall not keep another Man above Water.

REFLEXION.

The Covetous Man is never well (as we say) neither Full nor Fasting: Avarice has a great deal in’t of the Dog-Appetite. It is Greedy, Ravenous and Insatiable; Raving Mad after what it has not, and Sick of what it has; for it Digests nothing, and the very Success of the Wickedness is the Plague on’t. Nay, and the Two Extremes of Want and Abundance are so near a-kin too, that the Misery of both these Opposite States, takes its Rise in a great Measure from the same Root. Only Men are Sollicitous in the One Case how to Get, that which they are as Sollicitous in the other Case how to Keep; and the pain of the Disappointment, whether in Missing or in Losing, is much the same. For what is the Difference betwixt having Nothing at all Originally, and after such or such an Acquisition, having Nothing at all Left? ’Tis but Nothing against Nothing both ways: And the Case has much in it of what we find in an Extreme Drought, or a Nauseous Surfeit. Men are ready to Choak for want of Drink, and when they have Over-charg’d themselves with more then Nature will bear, they are ready to Dye on that Hand too, till they have it up again. Now to carry on the Allusion, here’s a Covetous Man Deliberating betwixt the Qualms of a Wambling Stomach, and an Unsettled Mind. Here is he a Defying Fortune and all her Works; he’ll have no more to do with her: he says, and so he Talks and Does on, at the Rate of Almost Half a Christian. But he does not yet know his own Mind it seems; for while he is Renouncing the World and the Devil on the One Hand, he strikes a League with them on the other, and in the same Breath Practises what he pretends to Disclaim, and Couzens the Labourer of his Hire. We are not therefore to value our Selves upon the Merit of Ejaculatory Repentances, that take us by Fits and Starts, and look liker Confessions upon the Torture, then Acts of Piety and Conscience. ’Tis not for a Desultory Thought, to attone for a Lewd Course of Life; nor for any thing but the Super-inducing of a Virtuous Habit upon a Vicious One, to qualifie an Effectual Conversion. We are to Distinguish betwixt this Miser’s being Weary of the Anxious Condition he was in, and his Repenting the Iniquity of his Oppression and Extortion: But Fortune will have him Richer and Richer still, in spite of his Heart: That is to say, for his Greater Condemnation and Punishment. And the last Touch is to shew us, in the Churlishness of Fortune, what a Poor Honest Man has to Trust to in this World.

Fab. CCCCXLV. An Eagle sets up for a Beauty.

It was once put to the Question among the Birds, which of the whole Tribe or sort of ’em was the greatest Beauty. The Eagle gave her Voice for her self, and Carry’d it. Yes, says a Peacock in a soft Voice by the by, You are a great Beauty indeed; but it lyes in your Beak, and in your Talons, that make it Death to Dispute it.

The Moral.

The Veneration that is paid to Great and Powerful Men, is but from the Teeth outward, not from the Heart; and more out of Fear then Love.

REFLEXION.

This Beauty in the Fable, Extends in the Moral to all the Advantages in Human Nature that One Man can pretend to have over Another: Let it be Matter of Honour, Title, Justice, Good Faith, Conscience, &c. for the Longer Sword can do no Wrong; and rather then fail, the Laws of God and Man shall take up Arms against themselves in defence of the most Extravagant of Conquests. Religion is a kind of Two Edged-Sword in the Hands of a Man of Might, that Cuts both ways alike; and it is either Right or Wrong, or Wrong or Right, as Occasion serves. Take it by One Light, ’tis an Angel; by Another, ’tis a Devil: And so ’tis Pro & Con at the same time. The whole World and the Business of it, is manag’d by Flattery and Paradox; the one sets up False Gods, and the other maintains them. Power in short, is Beauty, Wit, Courage, and all Good Things in One, where Slaves and Parasites are Judges.

Fab. CCCCXLVI. An Image Expos’d to Sale.

A Certain Carver, that had a Mercury lay a great while upon his Hands, bethought himself at last of Billing it about in Coffee-Houses, that at such a place there was a God to be Sold, a Merry Penn’worth, and such a Deity as would make any Man Rich that Bought him. Well (says One) And why d’ye Sell him then? For he will make you Rich, if you Keep him, as well as he will make me Rich if I Buy him. You say very Right says t’other; but ’tis Ready Mony that I want, and the Purchaser will have only an Estate in Reversion.

The Moral.

Ready Mony goes as far in Religion as in Trade: People are willing to Keep what they Have, and to get what they Can, without Launching out into Lives, and Uncertainties. They are well enough Content to deal in the Sale of Reversions, but they do not much care for Buying them.

REFLEXION.

The Old Saying, A Bird in the Hand is worth Two in the Bush, holds with most People in Religious Matters, as well as in Civil. A Sum of Mony down upon the Nail, goes further with them, then Heaven it self in the Reversion. Where we are in the Dark, we are but too apt to be Doubtful, and to reckon upon it the common Acceptation of Flesh and Blood, as the Parting with a Certainty for an Uncertainty. Now the Moral of this Fable must be Understood to Tax the Vanity and Error of the Common Practice and Opinion of the World in this Matter. The Fiction methinks has somewhat in’t of the French Libertines Conceit to a Severe Religious upon the Point of Mortification: Father (says he) What’s the Meaning of all these Austerities of Hard Living, Hair Shirts, Watchings, Fastings, and I know not what? Oh Brother (says the Holy Man) ’tis all for Paradise. Well (says the Licentious Droll again) but what if there should be no Paradise at last, are not you finely brought to Bed then? The Mockery of this Fable is somewhat a-kin to the Freak of this Story, and by no means to be Allow’d of but in Reprehension of so Irreverend a Freedom.

Fab. CCCCXLVII. Demetrius and Menander.

When Demetrius Phalaræus (a Tyrant and an Usurper,) took Possession of Athens, how was he Beset and Pursu’d with the Huzza’s and Acclamations of the People! Nay, and the Leading Men of the City too, with Joy in their Looks, and Gall in their Hearts, striving who should be Foremost in the Solemnity, to cry Vive Demetrius, and Kiss the Hand that Enslav’d them. After them follow’d the Men of Ease, Luxury and Pleasure, for fear of being thought Wanting in point of Affection and Respect. Mænander the Famous Comical poet was one of the Number, but in so Loose a Garb and Dress, and with so Unmanly a kind of March and Motion, that Demetrius had his Eye upon him presently, and call’d Aloud to know how such an Effeminate Sot durst presume to Appear in his Presence. Somebody gave the Tyrant immediately a Whisper, and told him, Sir, says he, This is the Poet Mænander that you your self have been pleas’d to own so Great an Admiration and Esteem for. Demetrius recollects himself, and changes his Humour in the very instant; calls Mænander to him, and Treats him with all the Instances imaginable of a singular Liking and Respect.

The Moral.

This Fable sets forth the Slavish Humour and Practice of the World, upon all Violent Changes, let them be never so Impious and Unjust: And it shews us again, that no Tyrants Heart can be so Hard, but it may be Soften’d, and wrought upon by the Force of Wit and Good Letters.

REFLEXION.

’Tis no Wonder, where there’s Power on the One Side, to find Flattery and Slavery on the Other: Nor is there any Inference to be drawn from the Outward Pomp of Popular Addresses and Applause, to an Inward Congruity of Affections in the Heart: For Blessings and Cursings come out of the same Mouth. These Noisy Acclamations are rather made of Mode and Ceremony, then of Zeal and Good Will; and the Huzza’s of the Rabble are the same to a Bear that they are to a Prince, and signifie no more to the One then they do to the Other. The Tyrants Reproof here of Mænander for his Meen and Garb, and his Recollection then, upon being better Inform’d, are First to the Honour of his Character, in being so Generous, as upon so solemn an Occasion, to own his Mistake: And Secondly, Instructive to us, that we are not to Judge of the Man by his Outside.

Fab. CCCCXLVIII. A Consultation about Securing a Town.

There was a Council of Mechanicks call’d to Advise about the Fortifying of a City; a Bricklayer was for Walling it with Stone; a Carpenter was of Opinion, that Timber would be worth Forty on’t: And after them, up starts a Currier. Gentlemen, says he, when y’ave said all that can be said, there’s nothing in the World like Leather.

The Moral.

Charity begins at Home, they say, and ’tis every Man’s Bus’ness in the First Place to look to his own Mother’s Child.

REFLEXION.

Here was a Debate set afoot, but the Board came to no Resolution, we see; and it could not be expected they should, where the Advisers were Every Man Interested for himself, and consequently both Parties and Judges. This is the Fate and the Issue of all Mix’d Councils, where the Members that are Intrusted with the Protection, the Care, and the Treasure of the Publick, lie under the Temptation of Voting Honourable Charges to themselves, and putting Mony in their own Pockets. These Men in some Cases are call’d Pensioners, in others Patriots; and in some again Committee-men, according to the Humour of the Age they Live in. Now where a Sharper is allow’d both to Shuffle and Cut, the Devil’s in him if he does not deal himself a Good Game. The Disposers of other People’s Fortunes seldom forget themselves; and all this is no more then the Common Liberty that every Cook has of Licking his own Fingers.

Fab. CCCCXLIX. A Hedge Destroy’d for Bearing no Fruit.

A Foolish Heir that was now come to the Possession of a Wise Man’s Estate, caus’d all the Bushes and Hedges about his Vineyard to be Grubb’d up, because they brought him no Grapes. The Throwing down of this Hedge, laid his Ground open to Man and Beast, and all his Plants were presently Destroy’d. My Simple Young Master came now to be convinc’d of his Folly, in taking away the Guard that Preserv’d his Vines, and in expecting Grapes from Brambles.

The Moral.

There needs as much Care and Industry to the Preserving of Things, as there does to the Acquiring of them, and the Centinel is as necessary to the Common Safety, as he that Fights the Battel.

REFLEXION.

This Parable of the Hedge and the Vineyard, may be aptly enough expounded of the Laws that secure a Civil Community. So long as the Enclosure is kept up, and maintain’d, the Peace and the Order of the Publick is Provided for; but if it be suffer’d by Neglect, either to fall to Decay, or to be over-born by Violence, and all laid in Common, the Beasts of the Forest break into’t, and of a Vineyard it becomes a Wilderness. This Fable marks out to us also the double Folly of those, that First disappoint the Intent, Use and Benefit of Things, for want of Understanding the Reason of them; and Secondly, ground all this upon as gross a Mistake of ’em: For what’s his Quarrel to the Hedge, but that his Thorns and his Brambles did not bring forth Raisins, rather then Haws and Blackberries?

Fab. CCCCL. A Bull and a Gnat.

A Gnat that had Planted himself upon the Horn of a Bull, very civilly begg’d the Bull’s Pardon for his Importunity; but rather then Incommode ye, says he, I’ll Remove. Oh, never Trouble your Head for that, says the Bull; for ’tis all One to me whether you go or stay. I never felt ye when you sat down, and I shall take as Little Notice of ye when you Rise.

The Moral.

The Vanity of this Fly, strikes at a Humour that we meet with every Day in the World, in a Hundred Trifling, Nonsensical People, that will be still making Themselves more Considerable then they are.

REFLEXION.

There are a Thousand Frivolous and Impertinent Pretensions of Civility that are struck at in this Fable; and they well deserve to be Corrected; for it is certainly one of the most Nauseous, Mawmish Mortifications under the Sun, for a Man of Sense and Bus’ness to have to do with a Punctual, Finical Fop, that’s too Mannerly, and does every thing forsooth by Rule and Compass: Especially where his Quality, Relation, or Authority, Entitles him to a Respect.

Fab. CCCCLI. Rats that Eat Copper.

A Merchant that had gotten a Friend of his to lay up a considerable Quantity of Copper for him, comes afterward to have Occasion for’t, and so desires he may have his Copper again. Alas, says his Friend, my House is so Pester’d with Rats, that they have gotten to your Copper, and Eat it all up. The First Rats of that Diet, says the Merchant, that ever I heard of. O Good Sir, says the Man, ’tis a common thing with ’em here in this Island. So away goes the Merchant, and the next Morning comes his Friend to him, Wringing his Hands, and Exclaiming, Oh what should he do! The Kidnappers had stoll’n away his only Child. Bless me, says the Master, this minds me of a Raven I saw Yesterday Steeple-high, just over your House with a Child in’s Foot: My Life for’t, that was your Child. No, no, says t’other, a Raven Fly away with a Child! that’s Impossible. Pardon me, says the Merchant, ’tis a common thing where Rats Eat Copper, for Ravens to Fly away with Children. The Man found himself Beaten at his own Play, and so Compounded with the Merchant to give him Satisfaction for his Copper, upon condition that he might have his Child again; for he had smelt it out by this time that the Merchant himself was the Kidnapper.

The Moral.

’Tis a Dexterous Turn of Address, to Baffle One Banter with Another; And the Nearer the Resemblance of the Humour, the Hit is so much the Better.

REFLEXION.

One Nail must be driven out with Another. Bantering is only an old way of Fooling, under a new Name; but the License of the Age has perhaps given it more Credit in the World, in this Nation and Conjuncture then ever it had. It is a Turn of Wit next to Slight of Hand; and the Play of Jest or Earnest is as arrant a Jugglers Trick, as little Hocus’s Fast or Loose. It is a stroke of Wit, Pleasant and Agreeable enough, if it be kept within the Bounds of Sobriety, Candor and Respect: But when it comes to Lash out once at a venture, into matters Holy as well as Prophane; when it comes once I say to be Intemperate, Ill-Natur’d, Sceptical, Scandalous and Bitter, ’tis a way of Conversation for a Merry-Andrew or a Buffon, rather then for a Man of Honour, or of Common Sense. It is not one jot better then Boys Play, when they cry, I made ’em Believe so; and that’s the very Point at last that they drive at. The Rats have Eat your Copper, says the Trustee here to the Merchant. What was there more in this, then to try whether the Merchant was a Fool or not, and so to Couzen him if he had found him one? Nay, and to make him a Fool upon Record too by his own Confession, both in one. Now if he had but put a Dammee to the Truth on’t, according to the Modish Humour of the Times, some Soft-headed, Conscientious Fop might have Swallow’d it perhaps; but the Merchant very Dextrously turn’d the Conceit upon him, and sav’d his Copper and his Credit both at once.

Fab. CCCCLII. A Woman Reviv’d with Beating.

There was an Untoward Perverse Piece of Womans Flesh that fell now and then under the Discipline of a little Family-Correction; and she had got a trick of throwing her self down upon her Back, holding her Breath, and there lying at her Length for Stone-Dead. Her Husband it seems had been wonted to these Gamboles, and so in a Grave Serious way, as she lay in a Fit once, calls for a Knife. Come, says he, When the Beast is Dead, we must e’en make the best of his Skin, and so he fell to work, and began to flay her at the Heel. The Woman did not like that way of Fooling, but started up, and came to her self immediately.

The Moral.

This in the Fable, is One of those Cases wherein People that are to be Believed in Nothing else, ought to be taken at their Words. My Heart’s too Big to bear this, (says a Blustering Fellow,) By the Lord, I’ll Destroy my self. Sir, says the Gentleman, here’s a Dagger at your Service; and so the Humour went off.

REFLEXION.

Here’s Fooling against Fooling, and one Counterfeit Answer’d with another. The Woman would needs persuade the Good Man that she was Dead; and the Husband in Requital, gives her to understand, that she must be Flay’d then; which was the only way the Poor Man had of making the best of a Bad Game. ’Twas a Sham both ways, and so they Compounded the Quarrel upon’t; and the Good Woman never Dy’d after this, ’till she came to Dye for Good and all. There are some Peevish Cases that will bear no other way of Conviction.

Fab. CCCCLIII. Two Friends and Fortune.

There goes a Story of Two Familiar Friends that were often together, and had a great many Words upon the Subject of that which we call Fortune. They were both well enough to pass, but of very Differing Humours; the one a Man of Project and Bussle in the World, the other altogether for Ease and Quiet. The one had a Roving, Rambling Head; the other was a Man of Privacy and Reserve. The one in Fine, was for making his Court to Fortune; the other for Lying by, ’till Fortune should make her Court to Him, (according to the Freak of the rest of the Sex.) Come, come, says the Ranger, we shall never make any thing on’t at this rate of Living; here’s neither Honour nor Mony to be got by staying where we are, and for my own part, I’m e’en for a Pilgrimage to the Temple of Fortune. Ay, but where’s that? says t’other. Why, says the Rambler, we must e’en beat it out the best we can. Pray’e, says his Companion, Advise well with your Pillow before you Embark in this Adventure. You are going you know not whither, to find out you know not what, or whom: A Phantome, that slips out of your Arms in the very Grasping at it, a common Prostitute to Fools and Footmen. You must be a Knave to be a Favourite, and abandon all the Substantial Comforts of Human Nature for a Jilt; and a Shadow; in one word, if you’ll needs be wandring, Pray’e, when we meet next, remember what I told ye; And in the mean time, I’ll e’en lye down in Peace, and keep my Self just as I am, and where I am; and if ever you live to come back again, do but look for me, and there, if I’m Alive, you shall be sure to Find me.

Upon these Terms they parted, and away Posts the Cavalier in Quest of his new Mistress. His First Jaunt is to Court, where he Enquires for Madam Fortune’s Lodgings: But she shifted so often, they told him, that there was no certainty of Finding her. He never fail’d to make one at the Princes Levee and Couche, where he heard over and over, how she had been at this Place and at that Place, but never could get sight of her. They told him indeed, that at such or such a Time, he might be sure of her at this Minions, or at that Buffoons Apartment; but she was still so Busie, and so Private, that there was no coming to the Speech of her. In fine, when he had Hunted and waited like a Dog, Early and Late, I know not how long, one told him for a certain, that she had newly taken Wing, and was gone a Progress to a Temple she had in Terra Australis Incognita. Upon this, he takes his leave of the Court, and away immediately to Sea, where he meets with Pyrates, Rocks and Shelves, and in short, so many Dreadful Encounters, as made him cast many a heavy Look and Thought upon the Quiet Cottage and Companion that he had left behind him: But he goes pressing forward still for all this, ’till in the conclusion, he was Fobb’d again with another Story: That Fortune ’tis true, had been there; but she was call’d away by an Express, not above Two Minutes before, to the Nor’ward. These Phantastical Amusements and Miscarriages brought him by little and little to his Wits again, and to a contempt of all the vain Promises and Pretences of Avarice and Ambition. With these thoughts about him, he makes all the hast he can back again, to his poor Blessed Home; where he finds his old Friend and Acquaintance, without any Cares in his head, Fast asleep; and that very Fortune that had led him this Wild-Goose Chase over the whole World, waiting like a Spaniel at the Door, and Begging to be let in.

The Moral.

It is with Fortune as it is with other Fantastical Mistresses; she makes sport with those that are ready to Dye for her, and throws her self at the Feet of others that Despise her.

REFLEXION.

’Tis Great Virtue and Happiness for a Man to set his Heart wholly upon that Lot and Station which Providence has Assigned him, and to Content himself with what he has, without Wand’ring after Imaginary Satisfactions in what he has not. Fancy and Curiosity have no Bounds. Their Motto may be [SOMEWHAT ELSE.] And how should it be otherwise with People that are never Pleas’d with the Present? They want they know not what, and they look for’t they know not where. We have had so many Occasions already to handle this Moral, that it would be Time lost to say any more upon’t in this Place.

Fab. CCCCLIV. A Boy that would not learn his Book.

There was a Stomachful Boy put to School, and the whole World could not bring him to Pronounce the First Letter in his Alphabet. Open your Mouth says the Master, and cry [A.] The Boy Gapes, without so much as offering at the Vowel. When the Master could do no good upon him, his School-Fellows took him to Task among Themselves. Why ’tis not so hard a thing methinks, says one of ’em, to cry [A:] No, says the Boy, ’tis not so hard neither; but if I should cry [A] once, they’d make me cry [B] too, and I’ll never do that, I’m Resolved.

The Moral.

There’s no Contending with Obstinacy and Ill-Nature; especially where there’s a Perverseness of Affection that goes along with it.

REFLEXION.

The Spaniards will have it that Apes can speak if they would, but they are afraid they shall be put to work then. The Boys Reason here, and the Apes are much at one; and ’tis the case of Counterfeit Cripples too, that pretend they cannot do this or that, when in truth, they are Lazy, and have no mind to be put to’t. The same Humour Governs in a World of Cases, where a Pretext of Disability is made use of, either out of Crossness or Sloth. This Restiff Stubbornness is never to be Excus’d, under any Pretence whatsoever; but where the thing to be done is that which we are bound in Honour and in Duty to do, there’s no Enduring of it. As in Cases of Law, Conscience, Church-Ceremonies, Civil or Natural Obedience to Princes, Parents, Husbands, Masters, &c. If I should do This, you’d make me do That, they cry; which is only a short Resolution that puts all the Functions and Offices of Order and Authority to a stand. He that says I cannot do this or that, where the Thing is Lawfully Impos’d and Requir’d, and not Simply Evil, might e’en as well have said, I will not do’t; for the Exception is not to the Thing Commanded, but to the Commanding Power. If I yield in one Point, says the Boy, they’ll expect I should yield in more. Grant One Prerogative, and grant All, says the Republican. But then says the Sovereign on the Other hand, Part with one Prerogative, and part with All: So that the Contest is not Matter of Scruple, but who shall be Uppermost. In One Word, Stubborn Boys and Stubborn Subjects, where they will not Comply upon Fair Means, must be whipp’d into their Duties.

Fab. CCCCLV. Hercules and Pluto.

When Hercules was taken up to Heaven for his Glorious Actions, he made his Reverence in Course to all the Gods, ’till he came to Pluto, upon whom he turn’d his Back with Indignation and Contempt. Jupiter ask’d him, what he meant by that Disrespect? Why, says Hercules, that Son of Fortune Corrupts the whole World with Mony, Encourages all manner of Wickedness, and is a common Enemy to all Good Men.

The Moral.

This is only to shew the Opposition betwixt a Narrow, Sordid, Avaritious Humour, and the Publick-Spirited Generosity of a Man of Honour, Industry, and Virtue.

REFLEXION.

Mony has its Use ’tis true; but generally speaking, the Benefit does not Countervail the Cares that go along with it, and the Hazzards of the Temptation to Abuse it: It is the Patron, and the Price of all Wickedness: It Blinds all Eyes, and Stops all Ears, from the Prince to the very Beggar. It Corrupts Faith and Justice; and in one Word, ’tis the very Pick-Lock, that opens the way into all Cabinets and Councils. It Debauches Children against their Parents; it makes Subjects Rebel against their Governors; it turns Lawyers and Divines into Advocates for Sacrilege and Sedition; and it Transports the very Professors of the Gospel into a Spirit of Contradiction and Defiance, to the Practices and Precepts of our Lord and Master. It is no Wonder now, that Hercules should so Contemptuously turn his Back upon Pluto, or the God of Mony; when the One’s Bus’ness is to Propagate and Encourage those Monsters, which the other came into the World to Quell and to Subdue.

Fab. CCCCLVI. A Lion, Boar, and Vultures.

There happen’d a Desperate Quarrel betwixt a Lion and a Boar; they Fought upon’t, and the Vultures came hovering over the Combatants to make a Prey of him that should be left upon the Spot: But it so fell out, that there was no Death in the Case, and the Vultures were not a little troubled at the Disappointment.

The Moral.

When Fools fall out, it shall go Hard but Knaves will be the better for’t.

REFLEXION.

There are several sorts of Men in the World that live upon the Sins and the Misfortunes of other People. This Fable may be Moraliz’d in almost all the Controversies of Human Life whether Publick or Private. Plaintiff and Defendant find Bus’ness for the Lawyers: Questions of Religion for the Divines: Disputes about Privileges and Liberties, Cut out Work for the Soldiers. A General Peace in fine, would be a General Disappointment; for the wrangling of some, is the Livelihood of others; and wherever there are like to be Carkasses, there will never fail to be Vultures.

Fab. CCCCLVII. A Man that would never Hear Ill News.

One came to a Country Grazier, and asked him if he should tell him a piece of News. Is’t Good or Bad? (says he.) Nay, says t’other, ’tis not very Good. Pray, says the Grazier, keep it to your self then; and so he went his way. The Grazier was telling the next day, that the Wolves had kill’d one of his Bullocks: That’s like enough, says the same Man; for I saw him wand’ring from the Herd, and I was afraid on’t. I would you had told me this in time, says the Grazier. Why I came I know not how far yesterday a-purpose to tell you the Story, and you would not hear on’t.

The Moral.

The Man is too Delicate to be Happy, that makes it in his Bargain not to hear any Thing that may give him a Present Trouble.

REFLEXION.

This way of Consulting a Bodies Ease, makes a Man Accessory to his own Ruin. There’s an Attempt design’d for the Purpose, upon the Person of a Man; and he shuts his Ears against any Intelligence, or Notice of it, till the Dagger is at his Heart. He that will not hear the Worst of things Betimes, must expect afterward to feel the Effect of the Bad News that he would not Hear. First, he loses the Means of Preventing Mischiefs, by not suffering himself to be Inform’d whereabouts the Danger lies. Secondly, He lives in a continual Dread of all Accidents that may befall him in general, though of Nothing in particular, and leaves himself no Place for the Exercise of Prudence and Precaution. This sort of People Jog on in the World, (for I cannot call it Living) without any Thought for to Morrow. Talk to them of Poverty, Persecutions, Torments, Slavery, Sickness, nay, Death it self at a Distance, they’ll put it off to the last Moment, and venture the Surprisal, when it comes indeed, rather then abide but so much as the Hearing on’t Before-hand.