Act 1 — SCENE V.
Charles Renauld translation
CYRANO, LE BRET, later JANITOR.
CYRANO (to Le Bret).
Now, I'll listen to you.
(He goes to the buffet, on which he places the half maccaroon.)
Dinner!
(Then the glass of water.)
Drink!
(And the one grape from the bunch.)
Dessert!
(Takes a seat by the buffet.)
Now for the feast! My dear friend, I feel very hungry.... (Eating) Well? You were saying?....
LE BRET.
That all these bellicose doings and the admiration they elicit will warp your judgment. Go ask people of sense what they think of this last prank of yours, of its effect.
CYRANO (finishing his half maccaroon).
Enormous!....
LE BRET.
The Cardinal!....
CYRANO (beaming with delight).
He was there? The Cardinal?
LE BRET.
Yes, and he must have found you....
CYRANO.
Anything but commonplace.
LE BRET.
Nevertheless....
CYRANO.
He's an author. And he must have enjoyed seeing another's play crushed.
LE BRET.
You are, really, making too many enemies!
CYRANO (munching his one grape).
How many do you estimate I have made to-day?
LE BRET.
Forty-eight, without counting the women.
CYRANO.
Enumerate them.
LE BRET.
Montfleury, the tradesman, Guiche, the Vicomte, Baro, the Academy....
CYRANO.
You give me infinite joy!
LE BRET.
What will all this lead you to? What system is yours?
CYRANO.
I was really meandering, and I found so many conclusions to adopt, through so many complications, that I came to this decision....
LE BRET.
Which is?....
CYRANO.
Oh! the simplest of all, by far. I decided to show myself admirable in all, and for all!
LE BRET (shrugging his shoulders).
So be it!.... But come now, tell me, tell me, the true reason of your hatred for Montfleury.
CYRANO (rising).
This Silenus, with a stomach like a hogshead, still believes himself a danger to womankind. See him, while he stammers on the stage, ogling like a carp, with his frog's eyes! I hate him since he dared, once, to set those eyes of his upon her.... Oh! I felt as if I saw a long slug crawling over a flower!
LE BRET (astounded).
What, is it possible?....
CYRANO (with a bitter laugh).
That I love?
(changing to a solemn tone).
I do love.
LE BRET.
Whom? May I enquire? You never told me.
CYRANO.
Whom I love? Come now, reflect. The dream of being loved, even by a homely girl, is one forbidden me. Forbidden by this nose of mine that precedes me everywhere by fifteen minutes. So, then, I love .... Whom? Why! it is most natural! I love .... it could not be otherwise, the loveliest of the lovely!
LE BRET.
The loveliest?....
CYRANO.
Exactly .... in the world! The most brilliant, the most exquisite, (crushed) the blondest!
LE BRET.
This woman is?....
CYRANO.
A deadly danger, though She knows it not; a snare that Nature made Unconscious, like a sweetly budding rose Whose leaves conceal,—in ambush lurking, love. Who sees her smile knows what perfection is: Her slightest touch engenders loveliness; She moves as if all heaven's grace were hers, And Venus ne'er embarked in any shell, Nor did Diana tread the sylvan paths As my adored can step into a chair!
LE BRET.
I understand! Quite clear.
CYRANO.
Transparent, say.
LE BRET.
It's Magdeleine, your cousin?
CYRANO.
Yes, Roxane.
LE BRET.
Well, where's the harm? You love her? Tell her so! She witnessed here just now your valiant deed!
CYRANO.
Why! Look at me, good friend, and say what hope There can be with .... such a protuberance! I clearly see the truth. But, then, of course, My heart will beat, perchance, at eventide, If, with this nose, I scent the breath of spring. Or else, I see, along some moonlit path, A whisp'ring pair of lovers slowly move; And then I think what rapture would be mine If on my arm a gentle creature leaned. I dream: but suddenly, I'm brought to sense. By what? Alas! My profile on the wall!
LE BRET.
Dear friend!....
CYRANO.
Yes, friend, it's hard indeed to feel So homely and forlorn at times....
LE BRET (taking his hand).
You weep!
CYRANO.
Weep? Never! Oh! a sorry sight, indeed, If down this nose a tear should take its course! I will not have, so long as I command, The saintliness of tears polluted by This homeliness of mine. Remember, friend, That nothing's more sublime than flowing tears. So would I not allow a single one To cause a laugh, or seem ridiculous!
LE BRET.
Come, come, do not be sad. In love there is hazard, remember.
CYRANO (shaking his hand).
No! I love Cleopatra: do I resemble a Cæsar? I adore Berenice: do I look like a Titus?
LE BRET.
But, friend, your bravery, intelligence and wit!.... Take that girl there who just now offered you your dinner. Did her eyes seem to detest you?
CYRANO (struck).
It's a fact.
LE BRET.
Well, then, hope!.... Why! Roxane was pale and trembling, ghastly pale, while she followed your duel here!....
CYRANO.
Ghastly pale?
LE BRET.
Her heart and mind were certainly struck. Pick up courage and speak to her, so that....
CYRANO.
So that she bursts out laughing into my face .... under my very nose? No, no!.... That is the only thing in the world that I fear!
THE JANITOR (bringing in the duenna, to Cyrano).
Somebody for you, Sir.
CYRANO (seeing the duenna).
Great heavens! Her duenna!