Volume 3 — Our Rural Mail Box
Reading edition
Lou Z. Lizzie—I quite agree with you. A man who gives you his diamond ring to look at and then wants it back is no gentleman.
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Mary Ellen Slapapple—The fact that your sweetheart gave you two black eyes is striking proof of his affection.
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Howsh E. Shaykes—A change of pasture is good for the bull, you know, old dear.
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Hittem Formy—Don’t run your legs off after a woman; you’ll need them to kick yourself.
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True lovers never say good night until morning.
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As a Rule
Clerk (at Employment Bureau)—“Someone has sent for a yardman, sir.”
Manager—“We haven’t any yardmen at present.”
Clerk—“Then shall I send up three footmen, sir?”
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The Barber Itch
Three prospective brides were in conference, Madge, Mary and Martha.
Madge—I am to marry a lawyer with fine practice. We are building a beautiful home.
Mary—My future husband is a banker and we will have a summer home, a maid and a car.
Martha—Well, girls, if you must know, I am to marry a barber.
Consternation reigned.
“What on earth are you going to marry a barber for?” gasped Madge and Mary.
Martha—Because any time a barber isn’t kissing you he is talking about it.
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A timid bachelor recently walked into a dance hall by mistake, and thought he was in a ladies’ dressing room.
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Jack—You certainly disgraced me at the banquet last night when you got drunk.
Jill—What did I do.
Jack—When the charlotte russe was served you tried to blow the foam off it.
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Pee Ess
In conclusion, Gentle Readers, don’t forget that Captain Billy’s encyclopedia of humor and poetry, the Winter Annual, Pedigreed Follies of 1921-22, is awaiting you at your newsdealer or the publisher.